Past Appointment

I got the confirmation I needed about a certain subject. My medical provider and I talked about my father's death. She put me on a different med for my depression. I need to make some moves where the first topic is concerned but that can wait until after the holiday, I think.

In the meantime, I'll try to adjust to the new medication. Hopefully it isn't awful.

Appointment

I'm off to the doctor's tomorrow. We're going to be discussing interesting things. Hopefully it will improve my life. We'll see. I put too much faith in chemistry. 

So I'm trying to do some advocating for myself. Then I have to do some other errands. The nice thing about this appointment is that I know I've lost some weight since the last one so that won't be an issue. So yay.

Sick House

For about a week now, we've both been ill. We're coughing, running fevers, the works. It's not been fun. 

I'm still really frustrated by what happened. I think the worst part is that I just didn't think it would. I really thought things would turn out differently and now I'm stuck watching a nightmare unfold. It's really painful. I wish there were other alternatives.

In the meantime, I guess I just focus on getting well.

Tired

I'm sick. I've been sick for several days now. It's better than it was but it's still not great. My throat hurts and my sinuses are a mess and I have a shallow but persistent cough. It's not hellish, but it's far from fun.

I'm seeing people resign from discussion boards and just go completely silent on social media altogether. I think we're going to be seeing more and more of that in the months to come. People are really scared and they have reason to be. 

All of this makes me very tired. I'm not sleeping well because my mind is reeling with the potentials. I'm also just coughing a lot, which doesn't help. This is a rough time.

Quiet

I hate the feeling that I should stay quiet. I hate the feeling that I should check out. I hate the feeling that I should just stop being. I hate the feeling that people would rather I did. I hate the feeling that people are gloating. I hate the feeling that they'll never learn. I hate the feeling that things just took a major turn for the worse. 

This is a bad day.

Hello Darkness

Fall Back happened and now it's dark far earlier than it had been. It was also cloudy and gloomy all day, which didn't help.

This is the time of year when our SAD really starts to mess with us. Both of us take steps to make sure it doesn't really undo us, but it isn't easy.

In better news, my Halloween was a lot of fun. I needed that.

Repeating

It seems like I keep talking about the same thing but the same things keep happening. The car is having issues. I took it to the mechanic. They don't know what's wrong with it. I feel like I'm being gaslighted about the situation. The car won't start. Clearly we should be able to see why? Right?

Honestly I don't know enough about cars to even know. It's just all very frustrating. He actually asked us if we had access to a towing service because it would probably come to that.

Here's the thing about that. I can't get INTO a tow truck. They sit way too high off the ground for me to even think about trying to get into it. So if we have to be towed, I'm stuck on  the side of the road until my roommate can get back to me. 

I'm really hoping it doesn't come to that.