Impostor Syndrome

In my knitting group, someone posted a pic of their working ten stitch blanket and invited others to do the same. I didn't post mine, though I had this delightful urge to. I stopped myself and I wish I hadn't, but I seriously doubt I'll be able to make myself do it.

See, as much as I love my yarn groups and support the people who post their work, I have never posted my own. I get super shy about it or just make excuses like how my camera isn't that good or this is just a throwaway project to use up yarn. The truth is though, I never feel like my work ranks with the groups.

I mean, it isn't that good, but that shouldn't matter. My work doesn't have to be beautiful or perfect. That isn't even ever the POINT of what I'm doing. But still, I shy away posting t the groups, even though I'll even post on my own page.

Stupid impostor syndrome.

Shoulders

Tomorrow will be two weeks since Christmas Day when I injured my arms and shoulders. I was reminded of this very keenly today as I folded towels. Even though things are better than they were, by the time I was finished, both upper arms were on fire. It took quite a while for them to calm down and I never got completely comfortable afterward. Still, it's good that the towels are folded.

Given how much pain I was in the day after the movie, I know there has been progress. In a couple of weeks, they should be back to normal. I can knit now and do most stuff, just not everything I can usually do.

Old Papers

Today my roommate decided to go through the file cabinets and remove all the stuff that we no longer needed. I thought this was just going to be a few things. I was SO wrong.

We had a massive amount of unneeded stuff lurking in there! Things we'd just kept for years. By the time he was finished, the stack was high. It will be removed from the house in due time.

It just goes to show how easily things can pile up. It made me think, again, about how almost all rooms in the house have items that serve no purpose other than just taking up space. The less of that we can have, the better off we'll feel.

I mean, I can't even see into the file cabinets but I still feel better knowing they're organized now.

Organization Update

I did some basic organizing this week that will hopefully lead to more structured organizing soon. I have things in the general location I want them to be, now to fine tune that and get them in exact and most useful spots. Some areas haven't been tackled as of yet and some won't be until I have a bit more strength back in my arms. For now, things are going well. It's just going to have to just be a little at a time.

In the coming week, we're sorting through our paperwork for the year and getting all of that as organized as possible.

Pro tip as you age: I'm sure you've noticed that as you age, you begin to forget more things. When it comes to things like paperwork, it's a good idea to occasionally go through it, remind yourself where things are, and maybe make a note of that someplace you'll look. It saves time later on.

Anyway, the weekend will hopefully be quiet and peaceful. The cats are sleeping a lot due to the weather. Not having them underfoot is helping us get organized in a much less frustrating fashion.

Protection

The first of the year seems to be about maintenance for us. Today we had the breaks fixed on the van and paid some bills. Tomorrow we'll be shopping. The weather is gray on gray and it's making me sleepy. I napped in my chair today with a very happy cat sleeping on my lap. It was so nice.

I'm still maintaining good mental chemicals. I think this is because I've been editing what I'll see on FB. People who just post about drama, politics, or negativity are being snoozed. People who post about their lives, interests, crafts, and other positive things are kept.

I don't feel bad about this. People have the right to post what they want. I also have the right to not have to deal with it. I'm not stopping them, but I'm doing my best not to let them affect me.

When I was a kid, I had no choice in this matter. My grandmother and mother were always negative and wanted to just bombard you with their poison. Even when I felt awful already, I couldn't stop them. Trying to even say something as simple as "I don't want to talk about that" would be met with A LOT of anger. Trying to say "I'm not in the mood to discuss with you" would be cause for hours of drama. And people never seem to get the hint that you just want them to shut up.

So as an adult, I'm doing my best to keep away from that. It's not so bad when I'm mentally and emotionally fine, but in times like this, it's just not happening. Needless to say, I now see a lot of posts about yarn projects and people's meals. I'm okay with that.

Yearly Ritual Evaluation

My roommate and I were both raised by grandparents who lived through the Great Depression. This has a large influence on a lot of the things we do. For instance, we hate to get rid of things. We turn food containers into storage. We repurpose items for new uses (such as a computer desk that is now a sewing center). We also keep things around 'just in case' we need them. Mostly, this involves boxes.

I mean, you never know when you may need a box so it IS a good idea to keep them around. The problem is that we both have medical supplies that arrive in boxes so by the time we get to our yearly 'remove the boxes from the house' ritual, we have A LOT of boxes to deal with.

This year, as we were working through the process of dismantling the boxes, he commented that we never do actually use ANY of those boxes for anything, and he's right. There really is no point in hoarding boxes for a whole year and letting them dominate the larger portion of a storage room.

We pay our water bill by the paper recycling bins in our town. The best solution here is to simply alter the yearly ritual to a monthly one. When we go to pay water, we'll deal with the boxes at the same time. It isn't out of our way and helps us to have more room in the house.

NYD

I ate my blackeyed peas today. I knitted. I did some reorganizing in my room and in my area of the living room. I napped. I talked to my roommate. I worried about a very ill friend. I gave comfort to the cats.

I also found out about a neat project that a lot of people who work in yarn arts start on New Year's Day. It's called a Temperature Blanket. You can read about it here. I can't start this year, as I have other projects, but next year I may try to do it.

Five years ago, I stated that I wanted my new year to be one of purging and ended up almost bleeding to death from my uterus and then had to have it removed. Ever since then, I've been careful about how I phrase things on New Year's Day.

With that in mind, I want this year to be one where I savor things. I want to really love my cats and love my art. I want to laugh and nuzzle and spin stories to entertain others. I want to make lots of good decisions that lead to good results.

I also want to get through my stash of yarn.