A Week of Frustrations

 This honestly should have been one of the better weeks of my life. It was not. I was discussed by people who do not know me and assumed things that were not true.

Then, in a separate situation, I was lied to and made to look like an idiot.

I am, quite honestly, just ready for this week to be over. 

Outside of just trying to work on stuff, I have no weekend plans. Maybe catch up on a couple of shows. 

There is honestly some stuff I wanted to blog about tonight, but I'm just so soul-weary from the day that I can't.

I Swear this Always Happens

 So I entered a contest and ended up as one of the Honorable Mentions.

There were four overall winners for various categories, and then ten Honorable Mentions. I was pleased — there were a massive number of entries.

However, the very first thing I saw, even before noticing that I had won, was my name mentioned in a comment thread.

Curious, I opened it. And… it was someone complaining that I won my little Honorable Mention spot. Not just me — most of the winners, actually.

Here’s the deal.

The contest was for a body of work that told a story highlighting an emotion. The rules stated that you could not submit just one image; you had to submit a series that created a narrative.

You had two choices:

Option One: Submit your work as a collection. Option Two: Submit your work as a video. Video uploads were limited to 90 seconds.

Those were literally the options provided.

My interpretation was simple: I could create a single video that told one story — a story that fits within 90 seconds. To me, the point was to tell a complete narrative within that timeframe.

So that’s what I did.

What other people understood this to mean was: You could create multiple videos that together told a very long story.

And that’s what they did.

Neither approach was explicitly right or wrong. The rules didn’t forbid either method. No one on the judging panel, and no one monitoring the contest, sent out emails saying, “This isn’t what the rules meant — please change your submission.”

As a result, the people who submitted multiple videos are now complaining that those of us who submitted one video broke the rules because we only submitted one clip.

But the rules never said “not just one clip.” They said “not just one image.” There is a difference.

And while I absolutely understand their frustration — the rules should have been clearer about what was required, what wasn’t, and what might be overkill — it doesn’t change the fact that I didn’t do anything wrong.

I also empathize with the pain of submitting (in some cases) bodies of work with 100+ pieces and feeling like it was overlooked.

However:

My win is legit. My win was earned. My work was good.

I’m not going to say anything in that comment thread. I’m not going to defend my work, because I do not defend or justify what I make. I don’t believe any creator should.

I do, however, want to acknowledge how frustrating it is that a win I should have been thrilled about is now tinged by the fact that I found out about it through someone questioning its validity.

IPSY Ultimate Sneak Peek Three for August 2026

While not disappointing like Sneak Peek Two, the third round of Ultimate reveals was still kind of a dud.

They technically “revealed” only one new item: NARS Afterglow Sensual Shine Lipstick. Everything else was already shown in previous rounds. Were those items now featured? Yes. Was it an actual reveal? Not really.

So let’s talk about the NARS. It’s a good formula. If it ends up in my box, I won’t be upset the way I would be with certain other things. Am I yearning for it? No. And with lip products, there’s always the question of shade roulette. There’s also the repeat factor — IPSY is already forcing one lip product on everyone this month. Why send two?

It’s highly unlikely IPSY will do a fourth reveal round, so this is probably it. Based strictly on what has been shown, here’s my list.

PART ONE: WHAT I KNOW I WILL GET

• MERIT Shade Slick Gelée Tinted Lip Oil

• Makeup By Mario Master Mascara

PART TWO: WHAT I HOPE I GET

• Korres Kyma Eau de Toilette

• Patrick Ta Major Headlines Double‑Take Blush Duo

• Indie Lee Stem Cell Serum

• ILIA Skin Rewind Complexion Stick

• MUTHA Up All Night Eye Cream

• Skin&Co Summer on the Riviera

PART THREE: WHAT I WON’T BE MAD AT RECEIVING BUT HOPE I DON’T

• NARS Afterglow Sensual Shine Lipstick

PART FOUR: WHAT I DO NOT WANT

• SACHAJUAN Hair Repair Treatment

• ILIA The Base Face Milk

• REL BEAUTY The Essentials Brush Set

• AREY Goodnight Grey Serum

CONCLUSION

Given that this will be my last month with IPSY, I’m not unhappy with how Ultimate looks. Am I deeply pleased? No. But I’m not unhappy either. I’m at peace with how our relationship will end.

Spirals

 I've been in a weird creative space lately. 

Sometimes I work on my larger projects. 

Other times, I spiral and just work obsessively on other things for hours at a time.

This is literally what my brain does, of course, especially when there are other stressors.

And let's face it, that is a constant these days.

My surgery is about 4 weeks away.

You know what's odd? I don't remember a lot from my last surgery. 

I remember sitting in the pre-op area with my roommate and then the next thing I remember is waking up in post-op. 

No idea what happened between those times. 

Meanwhile, a contest I entered was supposed to announce winners yesterday and did not. I don't think I won, but I would still like to know. It's frustrating. 

IPSY's third spoiler reveal comes out tomorrow. We shall have thoughts.

Motherline: A History in Reclamation

You learn a lot about yourself when you look at your ancestors. You learn a lot about them as well, but given that you are the result of what they lived through, that their DNA shaped who you are, well, yeah. You learn a lot about you. 

You also learn a lot about what people want you to give up, return to, and lose.

I can trace my motherline back ten generations. This is what we get.

10. She actually married at 23 — unusually late for her time — and to a man three years younger. She had two children. I imagine she had a spark, a bit of spunk, a sense of her own mind.

9.  Married at 16 to a husband eight years older. She had at least thirteen children. Thirteen. A life of constant labor, constant pregnancy, constant survival.

8. Married at 16, husband six years older, at least nine children. Another girl turned mother before she was grown.

7. Married at 20, husband five years older, at least seven children. A life spent raising and burying, loving and losing.

6. Married at 16, husband four years older, at least five children. A childhood traded for domestic duty.

5. Married at 16, husband eight years older, at least three children. He remarried after her, had more children, and died at 42. She died young. Her story feels like a whisper.

4. Married at 16, eight children. Her husband was sixteen years older — and the son of her employer. She was a housemaid. Her life was shaped by power she didn’t have. She had a nervous breakdown when my grandmother was 16. When they put her in the rest home, she was deeply grateful because she no longer had to sweep for herself.

3. Married at 20, two children. A small shift toward choice, toward breathing room. However, I knew this woman. I know for a fact that she never wanted to marry and did not love her husband. She did not want to have children. She just had very little choice given that it was the time period and location of where she was.

2. Married at 19, two children. A generation beginning to loosen the grip of expectation. Mind you, Mom was a very broken person. She married like 5 times to progressively worse men. 

Me. Child-free. Husband free. Free.

Now understand, I am not dismissing these women. I honor these women for their struggles and sacrifices, but dammit! I should not HAVE TO honor them for struggles and sacrifices. Their lives should have been more than struggle and sacrifice. What could they have done? What could they have achieved? What could they have accomplished if left to their own devices? 

And maybe the answer to that is 'not a goddamned thing,' but even that is valid because we do not HAVE TO accomplish anything. That's not the purpose of living.

I will never accept anyone's argument that men shaped society and should be treated somehow better for that. You can't argue that your gender shaped society when the other gender was being offered no to very few actual paths outside of having 13 children. 

You can't oppress people and then brag about what you achieved while you stood on their backs. 

So yeah. 

Two.
Thirteen.
Nine.
Seven.
Five
Three
Eight
Two
Two.
It ends. 

And when I had cancer, they cut out all of my internal reproductive bits, so there is absolutely no way it will ever start again. 

IT. ENDS.

And that is a beautiful thing.

More Thoughts on Creation

 If the world/humans actually do have a creator, I am certainly more convinced than ever that we could not be the only creation. 

I'm not going to make an argument for a creator one way or the other, only to point out that the nature of creativity is very often copious. Most creative minds do not make The Thing. Most creative minds make the many, many things. Most creative minds get an idea that sparks another idea that sparks another idea. 

They add variations and layers and new color palettes and different shading and alter the level of contrast and then jot down a bunch of notes because their minds are working so fast that they can't keep up with it all.

Creatives are usually only limited by their own physical capacity for creation and by resources. One would assume that a divinity would have neither of those limitations. 

Given that? Oh yeah. If we were created, there is not only life on other planets but life in other realities and life in other dimensions and life in ways in which we can't conceptualize at this point. That is the only thing that really makes sense given the way creativity flows. 

Surgery Again

I have to have surgery again.

I did not think I would have to.

I assumed this was over.

It's not. 

I have to go through all the pain and fear and healing again.

I am tired. 

I do not wish to do this/

YET.......here we are.

IPSY JULY 2026: Lazy Face Summer: A Haul Blessed by Fortune and Vitamin C

 Lazy Face Summer: A Haul Blessed by Fortune and Vitamin C

Every once in a while, the universe looks at me, sighs, and says, “Fine. You may have nice things.”

This month’s beauty haul is exactly that — a collection of products that practically beg me to stop fussing, stop layering, stop melting, and embrace the swipe, drip, blend, spritz, done philosophy of summer.

And honestly? I’m delighted.

Let’s walk through the lineup.

Purlisse Beauty Sheer Glow Strawberry Vitamin C Tinted Moisturizer (Fair)

People adore this thing. They speak of it like it’s a tiny miracle in a tube — the kind of product that blends seamlessly even on complicated skin tones. Mine is a whole situation: pale, neutral, and reddish, like a Victorian spinster who occasionally goes outside. Which is....basically what I am.

No one reported burning, stinging, or sudden regret. The biggest complaint was that it keeps going out of stock, which is the beauty world’s version of a standing ovation.

I’m expecting a soft, bright, “I drink water and have hobbies” kind of finish.

bareMinerals Original Mineral Veil® 24HR Natural Matte Setting Spray

This arrives just in time, because my current toner is on its last heroic wheeze.

Let’s be honest: nothing lasts 24 hours. If I get three solid hours in Oklahoma summer, I will consider it a personal victory. It’s matte, which would normally be a concern for me, but I am currently drowning in glow products. A little matte is practically a public service.

This is the seatbelt for the convertible.

Huda Beauty Easy Blur Natural Airbrush Foundation (Milkshake)

I'll pause as we all sing “Milkshake” We good? Okay. Moving right along then.

Ah yes, the commitment product. The one that could either match me perfectly or betray me utterly.

Milkshake sounds right on paper — pale, neutral, not too yellow, not too pink. Reviewers swear the shade matching is excellent, and the before and afters look like someone applied a soft focus filter in real life.

Will it blur me properly?
Will it make me look like a smooth little dumpling?
We shall see.

E.L.F. No Budge Matte Shadow Sticks (Vintage Suede & Cool Beans)

Of course E.L.F. is here. It’s not a haul without at least one E.L.F. item sneaking in like a raccoon at a picnic.

Shadow sticks are the ultimate lazy face tool. Swipe, smudge, done. No palette, no fallout, no thinking. Vintage Suede might barely show up on me, but that’s fine — subtle is perfect for summer. Cool Beans will give me just enough shimmer to look awake without trying.

Honestly though? I'm not mad about this. We all own E.L.F. We shouldn't pretend we don't.

Drunk Elephant O Bloos™ Rosi Drops
Two Drunk Elephant products in one month?
Is this my birthday?
Should I move my birthday to summer permanently?

O Bloos is universally flattering, and the formula is one of those “a few drops does the work of three products” situations. Blush, glow, warmth, dimension — all in one tiny bottle.

My expectations are sky high.
Drunk Elephant usually delivers.

Also: It should be noted that in context of cosmetics the only time when experiencing two drunk elephants in a month WOULD be a good thing.

Elemis Superfood Matcha Eye Dew

I love Elemis. I trust Elemis. I have no idea where this will fit into my routine, but I’m intrigued.

This is supposed to perk up tired eyes — and my eyes get tired. I have a face cream that makes my skin feel awake and alive, and the idea of something doing that specifically for my eyes? That might be exactly what I didn’t know I needed.

This may become a desk side staple.

Conclusion:

This entire haul is a summer blessing.
It’s effortless.
It’s melt resistant.
It’s fast.
It’s practical.
It’s pretty.

This is a lazy face routine in the best possible way — the kind of lineup that lets me look polished without spending more time in front of a mirror than the weather allows. In July, the goal is simple: look good before the heat decides otherwise.

And fortune, for once, seems to be assisting me.

IPSY Ultimate Spoilers Round Two for Fall 2026

 Yeah. They posted the second tier of spoilers. 

It was less than great. 

This is the letter I sent to IPSY:

Hello, IPSY.

Let me start with kindness: my July Extra was fantastic. Truly. And your first round of Ultimate spoilers had me hopeful.

Then… the second round arrived.

MAKEUP BY MARIO – Master Mascara® in Super Black Apparently this is non‑negotiable. IPSY has decided I need Mascara #6. I can only assume you’re trying to help me open a small mascara museum.

SACHAJUAN – Hair Repair Treatment My hair is fine. My hair is thriving. My hair is practically smug. Please do not send me more hair repair.

ILIA BEAUTY – The Base Face Milk Beautiful product. But I already have enough primers, essences, and hybrid concoctions to run a small skincare speakeasy. I do not need this.

REL BEAUTY – The Essentials Brush Set Again, no. You gave everyone a brush last time with zero choice. Now you want to give us a whole set? IPSY, be serious. No one asked for a sequel to the Forced Brush Saga. I do not need more brushes. No one I know needs more brushes. These would sit in a drawer and contemplate their existence.

AREY – Goodnight Grey Serum I see what you’re doing. “She’s over a certain age—surely she’s panicking about aging!” Incorrect. I am not in crisis, despite your apparent confidence that I must be. I do not want this. Please do not send it.

Thank you for your time. I look forward to the day when spoilers feel exciting again. Will it do any good? At all? Probably not. I am emotionally resigned to those brushes being in my future.

IPSY EXTRA for JULY 2026

It felt like forever before this order got in. I was honestly getting annoyed. But it is here now, so I’m happy. Let’s discuss.

THE BAG

Not my favorite. It’s a rougher canvas with beachy white-and-pink stripes connected to white-and-orange stripes. But… it’s the middle of summer, so I get why they sent it. It’s not something I’d ever purchase for myself, but I can forgive it because the logic is sound.

WHAT I DID NOT CHOOSE

SKIN&CO ROMA – Umbrian Truffle Clay Detox Toning Formula

Aside from the fact that the little silver protective cover was a monster that did not want to come off, this is actually very nice. It smells great, it made my skin feel wonderful, and it’s a generous size.

The warnings say to be careful around your eyes/eyelids, but that’s normal for any toner.

I am pleased.

LOVE+CRAFT+BEAUTY – Tubular Lip Tint

It was not dried out — grateful for that.

The color, however… not wonderful. It’s dark in a way that makes me look dead, but not dead in the “old lady goth” way that I enjoy.

Just dead.

Despite being a lip stain, it didn’t survive dinner before fading.

Though honestly, given the color, maybe that’s a blessing.

Not pleased.

TOO FACED – Sunset Stripped Palette

Yeah, okay. WOW.

This is stunning.

It was pretty in the pictures, but in real life? STUNNING. I really love it.

It’s a very practical size, too. For having so many pans, it manages to be both generous and not bulky. I appreciate that.

The shades look beautiful with my coloring.

Deeply pleased.

WHAT I DID CHOOSE

TOWER 28 – SOS FaceGuard™ SPF 30 Sunscreen PA+++

I somehow missed that this is tinted. It has a very subtle, universal tint that looks amazing on my skin. It’s a little glowy — a bonus for someone my age — and has surprisingly good coverage.

As I said before, SPF 30 is kind of nothing for someone as pale as me, but a gentle tinted product that still offers coverage? That’s a whole different story.

Deeply pleased.

DRUNK ELEPHANT – D‑Bronzi™ Anti‑Pollution Sunshine Drops

Literally beautiful on my skin.

It melts in and just looks — as the phrase goes — like my skin but so, so much better. Between this and the Tower 28, my face should look great for the rest of the summer.

The only thing that threw me was how small it is.

Then again, you use very little at a time, and it has an expiration date, so maybe that makes sense.

Bonuses: The packaging was amazing. Opening it was its own little moment of joy. Also, a free sample of one of their creams inside.

As pleased as I assumed I would be, which was a lot.

SATURDAY SKIN – Yuzu Vitamin C + Water Blossom Serum

The reviews were not wrong. It’s great.

It smells lovely. It feels lovely. The container is lovely.

I’m about to run out of one of my serums, and I know this one is going to take its place.

It somehow made me feel both more alert and cooler at the same time.

I really love it.

Far more pleased than I anticipated with a third-tier choice.

CONCLUSION

One dud. One dud out of six. That’s not bad. And hey — it’s possible I can mess with that lip stain and make it work. This was just my first try. We’ll see what I can manage.

Other than that? I’m quite happy. Much happier than I was after last month’s package.

This is my second-to-last month before I end my subscription, and so far? I’m good with what this month has to offer.

The next round of spoilers drops tomorrow.

Will they be as good as the ones they’ve shown so far?

We shall see. And you KNOW I will have opinions.

IPSY EXTRA July 2026 Spoilers

 After my Really Bad Experience with IPSY Extra in June, I was hoping July would be a lot better.

And honestly, it is. Let's get into it.

WHAT I DID NOT CHOOSE

SKIN&CO ROMA – Umbrian Truffle Clay Detox Toning Formula

Okay, I snarled at this. At first. I saw “clay” and “detox” and immediately assumed it was a clay mask — and I do not want a clay mask. I do not like clay masks. They are messy, uncomfortable, and often do more harm to my skin than good.

However, this is a toner. I noticed the word “toner” later when I looked at it again. I did some research, and yes, it functions just like a toner.

And I’m happy with it now. I’m about halfway through my current toner, so I’ll need a new one sooner rather than later.

LOVE+CRAFT+BEAUTY – Tubular Lip Tint

First of all, I was so amused by the name. I realize they probably did not have cosmic‑horror writer H.P. Lovecraft in mind, but I cannot get “Lovecraft Beauty” out of my head. I’m seeing cosmic tentacle monsters with fake lashes and worshipers slathering their indescribable forms in Sunday Riley Good Genes while they dream in ways we cannot fathom.

But all of that aside, this has mixed reviews. Some people adore it. Other people say it dries out too fast.

Lip tints are… odd beauties. Temperamental. You get a good shade and you’re set for hours. You get a weird shade and suddenly your lips are the color of bruised plums for longer than anyone would wish.

TOO FACED – Sunset Stripped Palette

I did not need another palette. I have plenty, and I mostly use the same one right now — though, admittedly, since it’s summer, my makeup routine is pretty minimal.

Having said that, this is a beautiful palette. The shades have a lot of potential.

It also has an interesting distribution: the matte shades are larger than the shimmers. That’s actually practical, since most people use mattes more often than shimmers.

WHAT I DID CHOOSE

TOWER 28 – SOS FaceGuard™ SPF 30 Sunscreen PA+++

Ahh, Tower 28, the hope of my future. This company specializes in items that make skin that is weepy, sticky, choosy, angry, scaly, oily, picky, and twitchy behave perfectly fine.

Normally I would not get anything that is SPF 30 because I just laugh in VERY PALE PERSON at the concept of SPF 30. But it was Tower 28, and I really couldn’t say no.

DRUNK ELEPHANT – D‑Bronzi™ Anti‑Pollution Sunshine Drops

Did I even look at the other items offered with this?

NOPE.

Drunk Elephant is a stunning line. I’m actually a little shocked they’re working with IPSY.

Sunshine Drops are supposed to be so good you can use a small bit and not even worry about other complexion products. And for summer? That’s pretty perfect.

SATURDAY SKIN – Yuzu Vitamin C + Water Blossom Serum

Ahh, the tier‑three pick. The tier that usually consists of “yeah? I guess?” stuff.

And honestly, that’s how I felt when I picked this. I had never heard of it. I really did not need another serum.

I have a serum in every room where I dwell, just in case I need to slather some more on my own indescribable form.

Having said that, I do love a good serum and I use them completely. The reviews on this have been very positive, and since it’s brightening, I’m looking forward to it. My indescribable form also needs all the brightening it can get.

CONCLUSION

Maybe the emotional bar was really low for me after last month’s issues, but I have to admit I’m somewhat pleased with this lineup.

Did I need all of this? No, not really. But I also have to keep in mind that August will be the end of my subscriptions for a while, so I need to think in terms of sustainability. With that in mind, getting another serum when I won’t be buying any for a while isn’t a bad thing at all.

Right now the only concern I have is the Love+Craft+Beauty lip tint, but maybe I’ll get lucky and not receive one of the dried‑out pens.

Yes, please, glamour gods — do not give me a dried‑out pen.

Dear Eloise: About your Goddess Palette

 

Hello, Eloise. We need to have a talk.

In fact, the truth of the matter is: I need to apologize to you.

I received the Goddess Palette as a free gift from IPSY. I opened it. I snorted.

Look.

I know you shouldn’t judge a book by its cover, but the shades were… intense. Out there. They had names someone would give a show poodle. Majestic. Empress Elegance. Divine Aura.

I snorted again.

And then I tossed you into my makeup drawer without a second thought.

Here’s the thing, Eloise.

A few days later, I was headed out. I looked good — I always look good — but I wanted something… more. I wanted brightness. I needed an eyeshadow topper.

There you sat, in your demure pink‑and‑gold glory. I sighed. I opened you up. I selected Regal Radiance and tapped it onto the center of my lid.

Just a tiny bit. A little wiggle of the brush. A soft blend.

I looked at it.

Stunning.

Just stunning.

I did the other eye.

And I fell in love.

Eloise, your Goddess Palette is my topper now. The colors are amazing. They blend beautifully. They last beautifully (a miracle on my skin), and they do exactly what I need them to do. They are the perfect accent to the symphony my makeup creates.

I am a woman of harmonies. My makeup is usually built on a common undertone that winds its way through bronzers and blushes and bases and lippies. There is always a unifying connective thread that allows the whole look to make sense.

But toppers? Toppers are the counternote. The pause. The sparkle that rises above the harmony and makes the entire composition sing.

And you, Eloise — you and your Goddess Palette — this is where you shine. This is where you are in your glory. And for that, I adore you.

So please, Eloise, accept my humble forgiveness.

I will never doubt you again.

IPSY ULTIMATE Spoilers for August 2026

 IPSY usually trails out spoilers like Hanzel leaving breadcrumbs in the forest, dropping only a few at a time until the month ends. This time, they put up an image that had a lot of stuff in it. I had to take a screenshot and enlarge it so I could see some of the labels, but I found them. I searched websites to find the exact shapes of some of the other items, and I found them. Now I have a pretty comprehensive list of what we're in for as summer winds down.

PART ONE: WHAT I KNOW I’M GETTING

MERIT Shade Slick Gelée Tinted Lip Oil

MERIT lip oils and I have a long, happy history. They’re beautiful on my lips, they feel good, and they give that soft, plush shine that makes me feel like I’m starring in my own summer montage. Do they last a long time on me? Absolutely not. But honestly, that’s part of the charm. A lip oil that disappears quickly is a lip oil I’ll actually finish, and finishing a product in this economy is practically a spiritual achievement.

I already own one of these—yes, technically this will be a duplicate—but I’m not even pretending to be upset. Depending on the shade they send, this could easily end up being one of my favorites for the entire month. MERIT rarely misses, and this formula is one of their best.

Makeup By Mario Master Mascara

I feel like I say this every single time IPSY tries to hand me a mascara:

I do not need another mascara.

Universe? Are you listening? Hello? Bueller? I do not need another mascara.

But here we are again.

Having said that, this is an excellent mascara. Mario knows how to make lashes look good, and this formula is one of the few that consistently gets rave reviews. My hope—my dream, really—is that they send me the brown shade. It’s supposed to be the brown mascara. The one everyone loves. The one that makes people say, “Oh, you’re wearing brown? It looks incredible.”

If they send me brown, at least it’ll be different from the army of black mascaras already living rent‑free in my drawer. And if they don’t… well, I’ll still use it. I’ll just sigh dramatically first.

PART TWO: WHAT I HOPE I GET

Korres Kyma Eau de Toilette

With the exception of one night cream that tried to set my face on fire, I have loved everything I’ve ever gotten from Korres. Their scents are bright, clean, and always have that interesting twist that makes them feel like a story instead of just a smell. They tend to bloom beautifully on my skin—Korres and I have a very stable relationship.

Top Notes: Lime, Mandarin, Orange

Heart Notes: Marine, Watery, Pepper

Base Notes: Cedar, Vetiver, Nutmeg

I respond extremely well to citrus and pepper. Vetiver and nutmeg? Two of my favorite base notes. Cedar surprised me—I didn’t think I’d like it, but in perfume it adds this crisp, clean backbone that I really enjoy. The marine and watery notes will be new territory for me, but that actually makes me more curious than nervous. If anything, it feels like Korres is handing me a little adventure.

This is easily one of my top hopes for the month.

Patrick Ta Major Headlines Double-Take Blush Duo

This is supposed to be one of the best blush formulas on the market. And as a self‑proclaimed blush slut, this is basically a soulmate situation. Cream + powder? Long-lasting? Celebrity cheekbones in a compact? Yes, hello, sign me up.

Now, will it be long-lasting on me? My skin absorbs makeup like it’s trying to win a competition, so we’ll see. As always with shade-based items, you pray IPSY actually reads your profile instead of letting some giant pink glamourbot’s robotic arm randomly select a shade based on pure chaos energy.

But if they get it right? This will be a home run.

Indie Lee Stem Cell Serum

When I first saw this, I twitched a little. “Stem cell serum” sounds gimmicky at best and unethical at worst. But the stem cells in question are plant-derived, not animal-derived, which immediately made me feel better.

As for the viability? Surprisingly good ratings. Shockingly good, actually. It’s the most luxury item in the entire spoiler list this month, so if it shows up in my box, I’ll be very curious to see how it performs.

ILIA Skin Rewind Complexion Stick

This is a natural-matte formula with medium coverage that claims to last up to 12 hours. Again, with my skin? We shall see. Longevity claims often crumble the moment they meet my face.

But ILIA builds skincare into their complexion products, and that tends to work better for me. Anything with a smoother glide is a blessing when your skin is nearing 53 years and has decided it prefers hydration, kindness, and a little structural support.

Shade, of course, is the gamble. IPSY runs out of “does not go out in sunlight” shades very quickly. Hopefully the robot arm will snatch something appropriate for me instead of tossing me a shade meant for a beach volleyball champion.

MUTHA Up All Night Eye Cream

I have a lot of eye creams. IPSY loves giving women over a certain age eye cream. At the moment, I’m staring at three of them—two still sealed like tiny, expensive secrets.

But this one? This is a fabulous eye cream. A luxury eye cream. It has pearl powder and caffeine in it. Pearls and caffeine are two of my favorite things, and frankly, two of the only things that can convince my under-eyes to behave.

If I get the $90 eye cream? Yeah. I will be just fine.

Skin&Co Summer on the Riviera

Sometimes I browse IPSY’s shop.

And when I do, I always pause on this product and give it a little consideration.

Top Notes: Bright fruit, coconut, lemon

Middle Notes: White florals, green pistachio

Base Notes: Vanilla musk, golden amber

This is such an interesting blend. I do very well with whites, greens, and ambers. Lemon is always a fun addition to whatever scent stack I’m wearing. And I can already think of several things I own that would pair beautifully with this—layering possibilities galore.

If this lands in my box, I’ll be delighted.

PART THREE: WHAT I’M PRAYING THEY DON’T SEND ME

AREY Goodnight Grey Serum

This… does not have great ratings. It does not work for most people. And I’m still stuck on the existential question of its very existence. Why are we doing scalp serums for grey hair when hair dye exists? Why are we pretending this is a thing?

WILL they send it to me?

Sigh.

Probably.

I am a woman over 50. IPSY will likely bank on me having some kind of aging‑panic meltdown that renders me submissive to their offering of the anti‑grey potion. They imagine me clutching it in my humbly withered hands, feeling a faint rush of grateful acceptance.

Let me be extremely clear:

1. I am not.

2. I will not.

3. My hands look great.

Do not send me this stuff. I do not want it.

CONCLUSION

Ya know? This lineup is actually great. There is only one thing I truly do not want. The mascara they’re forcing on me is at least a stunning one, so I can’t even be mad about that. In fact, this lineup is so good that I’m a little apprehensive about the round two spoilers. What if they give us all this great potential and then follow it up with off‑brand palettes in avocado and matte gold? Palettes with reviews like, “Do not purchase! Burned my skin before it even touched it.”

We shall see.

As for now?

Yeah. I’m excited for August.

The Multiplicity of the Creative Spirit

I will always, on a very visceral level, have a problem with traditional religious restrictions. All of them. I'm not singling anyone out here. This is a problem I have with them universally. Traditional religions all follow the same kind of ideas. There is a Creator or maybe more than one. Stuff was made. This is how you should behave. Yes, exactly like this.

I'm not talking about the general idea of decent behavior. A Creator asking people not to be a pack of assholes to each other is fine. It's all the limited paths part that sets my teeth on edge.

The idea that a Creator would create something and then only want one very narrow version of it is the antithesis of my being. Creation, to me, is not about a perfect thing; it's about the possibilities of what something can become. 

 You give me five filters on GIMP and I'm going to make thousands of variations. Adjusting this and that, tweaking any buttons it has, running the same filter over what I just filtered to see the next level of what will happen.

 If your nature is Creator, then that is your basic drive. You don't settle. You don't pick 'on these two paths will do, but you can only follow one, and only the one your birth gender says is okay.' You delight in the change, in the unexpected, in the unpredictable, and often the best part of that is finding the flaws and seeing how they yield a kind of unexpected newness and beauty to your original design. One you never would have considered on your own.

 Creativity can be very lonely. You long for feedback. You long for engagement. You long for the things that push you in new directions. Even in order, even in structure, you still look for how that can be altered. You still look for the changes. You learn to honor the mistakes. Often, you save them because you know they can be used in some other creative piece later on.

 Because otherwise? You're just playing an unglitched version of Sims. And Sims gets boring after a while, because it's just the same thing over and over again. That isn't life. That isn't creativity. That isn't exploration. That's just very simple programming that will eventually frustrate you because you've seen it before. 

Meet the Fans

 These are the darlings that will keep me alive during the summer.

BEDROOM CREW OF DOOM

1. Grizzled, Ye Elder Fan
Alignment: Lawful Stubborn
Age: Older than the Berlin Wall coming down
Aesthetic: Beige Industrial Despair (the color of Reagan‑era hopelessness)
Traits:
•  Metal cage bent like it survived a bar fight
•  Duct tape scars that tell a story
•  Four speeds, each with a personality
•  Emits the energy of a Vietnam vet who listens to classic rock and doesn’t talk about the war
•  Will outlive you, me, and the concept of summer itself
This fan is not a machine.
This is a survivor.

2. Philip, StandyUppy Fan
Alignment: Chaotic Useless
Age: Toddler
Aesthetic: “I was $19.99 at Walmart and I know it”
Traits:
•  Buttons that work only when the moon is in Pisces
•  Four speeds, all of which are lies
•  Moves air the way a depressed Victorian child blows out birthday candles
•  Will die in two years, but only after inconveniencing you deeply
Philip is the fan equivalent of a coworker who “tries their best” but should not be in charge of anything.

3. Magnolia the Fair
Alignment: Neutral Murderous
Age: 2008, but spiritually 1888
Aesthetic: Looming Gothic Ceiling Apparition
Traits:
•  Two speeds: High and Also High
•  Whirs like a genteel lady fanning herself on a porch
•  Occasionally makes a noise that suggests she is about to drop from the ceiling and slice your jugular
•  Will absolutely kill you one day, but politely
Magnolia is the Blanche DuBois of ceiling fans.
She depends on the kindness of strangers and the structural integrity of two screws.

4. Taz of Metal
Alignment: Chaotic Exhausted
Age: 5 years but has lived 50
Aesthetic: Industrial Wind Demon
Traits:
•  Three speeds: Wonderful, Not Bad, and Kinda Meh
•  Currently stuck on Kinda Meh like a washed‑up rockstar
•  Held together by paper clips like a middle school science project
•  Vibrates like it’s trying to escape this mortal coil
•  Will die this year, and everyone knows it
Taz is the fan equivalent of a biker with emphysema who still insists on doing one last road trip.


THE LIVING ROOM WIND COURT

1. Jazz from Amazon
Alignment: Chaotic Pretty
Age: 2020, but spiritually a 1920s lounge singer
Aesthetic: Dark bronze, seductive, unreliable
Traits:
•  Looks sturdy but is actually held together by hope and a loose blade
•  Three speeds, all of which blow your hair into your eyes like a dramatic music video
•  Requires constant tightening, like a diva needing her corset adjusted
•  Will die this year, but will do it glamorously
Jazz is the fan who says, “I may not work, but I will look stunning while failing.”

2. Roommate’s Box Fan
Alignment: Lawful Disposable
Age: 0–5 years, but emotionally already retired
Aesthetic: “I was made in a factory that does not believe in quality control”
Traits:
•  Light blue metal body, white plastic face
•  Three speeds, all of which are theoretical
•  Falls forward like a fainting goat
•  Cats treat it like a wrestling opponent
•  Will last two more years out of spite
Rommate doesn’t name things he knows will die, which makes this fan the equivalent of a doomed NPC.

3. Trudy
Alignment: Neutral Sturdy
Age: 2 years
Aesthetic: Walmart Gothic
Traits:
•  Black plastic, metal stand, takes up the space of a small refrigerator
•  Three speeds, all of which blow your hair into your eyes from across the room
•  Annoying, but keeps you alive-ish
•  Will last two more years because she’s too stubborn to quit
Trudy is the dependable but irritating aunt who always brings potato salad you didn’t ask for.

4. Unnamed Window Fan
Alignment: Chaotic Temporary
Age: Installed two nights ago
Aesthetic: “I am new, but I will disappoint you soon”
Traits:
•  White plastic, suspiciously clean
•  Two speeds: Mid and Also Mid
•  No reverse, which defeats the entire purpose of a window fan
•  Exists only because the previous window fan died dramatically
•  Will last two years, tops
This fan is the intern who was hired because the last intern quit mid-shift.

5. Ginevra the Beautiful
Alignment: Lawful Elegant
Age: 1 year
Aesthetic: Angel of Ceiling Breezes
Traits:
•  White metal, white wood blades, tulip shades
•  Gorgeous, refined, polite
•  Three speeds, none of which are allowed to be used
•  Wears long metal pull chains like chandelier earrings
•  Too polite to kill anyone
Ginevra is the debutante who was invited to the ball but told she must not dance because the floorboards are old.

Deep Betrayal Masked as Choices: My June 2026 IPSY EXTRA CHOICE DAY

June arrived with heat, humidity, and the faint hope that my IPSY bag might bring me a little joy. Instead, it delivered a full‑scale beauty betrayal. This month’s curation wasn’t just off; it felt like IPSY spun a wheel labeled “Chaos,” “Disregard,” and “Pink Lip Products She Will Hate,” and then proudly mailed me the results.

The no‑choice items alone were enough to make me sigh into the middle distance. First, they sent me a TYS Beauty Lip Butter in Passionfruit—a sheer vibrant pink, the exact kind of shade I consistently rate low and never request. Do you know what I look like in vibrant pink? A woman in her 50s with stupidly bright lips. This would have been annoying on any month, but this was the month they were offering Tower 28 lip products, which makes the choice feel almost spiteful.

Then, as if to double down, they sent a brow gel right after I literally got a brow tint last month. IPSY, my beloved nemesis, if you had looked at my recent products for even five seconds, you would have known I did not need another brow product. You keep a LIST of recent products. Use it.

The choice items didn’t improve things. The first selection forced me to choose between the Dieux Air Angel Peptide Gel Cream and the Glow Recipe Watermelon Dew Drops—two excellent products that should never have been pitted against each other. It felt like choosing between two kittens. I picked Dieux, but I resented having to choose at all.

Then came the true betrayal: the second choice group. IPSY lumped together the Rare Beauty blush, the Rodial drops, the Tower 28 Lip Jelly, and the Tower 28 LipSoftie. All in one group. This wasn’t a choice; it was psychological warfare. I knew they would put both Tower 28s together, but I didn’t expect them to also throw Rare Beauty into the same pit like a sacrificial lamb. My soul left my body. I ended up choosing the LipSoftie because my lips are a desert wasteland in summer and because I was already being punished with that Passionfruit Lip Butter. I wanted that blush too. I was looking forward to having that blush. 

By the time I reached the final choice group, I was too tired to be angry. My options were a Dew of the Gods cleanser, the Moonslice 1980s drag‑queen palette I refuse to let haunt my home, or face masks. FACE MASKS! REALLY? Really. I chose the cleanser because it was the only item that didn’t feel like a dare. At that point, I was simply trying to survive the experience.

And then, as the final insult, I tried to contact customer service. I normally do not do this. As a middle-aged woman, one is always very hesitant to contact customer services as to not appear a Karen. Ironically, the only ones who don't worry about this are the True Karens.

Once upon a time, IPSY had a simple “Contact Support” button.

Now they have GlamBot—a sparkly pink AI creature with long fake eyelashes who guards the gates like a glitter‑covered Cerberus. You ask for help, and GlamBot smiles, blinks slowly, and offers irrelevant articles. Then asks you for information that should be already accessed as you're doing this from your profile that you are logged into.

Eventually, after enough pleading, it tells you to “submit a ticket,” which is the modern equivalent of tossing a message in a bottle into the ocean. There is no email. There is no direct contact. There is only the Ticket Portal of Mild Desperation. I ended up sending my complaint to both Instagram and Facebook because IPSY has made contacting them a side quest.

So that was June IPSY: poorly curated, profile‑ignorant, choice‑group chaotic, and wrapped in a customer service maze guarded by a sparkly robot. I am tired. I am moisturized (thanks, Dieux). I am lip‑buttered against my will. And I sincerely hope July is kinder.

Though at this point, I'm considering just quitting completely. 

The Six Commandments of the Air Conditioner

 Hey! Welcome to June! As we are headed into the hell months, I thought I would share the hostage situation I happen to be in with my air conditioning. 

The Gospel of the Ancient Window Unit AC

1. “It shall not awaken until the land reaches 90 degrees.”

This is not a temperature threshold.
This is a summoning requirement.
At 89 degrees, you suffer.
At 90, the fridges begin to mutter ancient curses, and only then does the AC stir in its cave.
If it's 88 and the humidity is over 60, your life is basically hell.

2. “Its mercy is not for you.”

You are but a mortal.
Human suffering is a natural state. 
The AC serves only the Cold Boxes, the sacred guardians of milk and leftovers.
Machine suffering is not a good idea.
You are collateral.
Your suffering does not alter the House.

3. “You will feel the lack of mercy.”

This is the part of the scripture written in sweat.
And you do. You know, when it comes to the AC, you're just a dog getting crumbs.
The summer heat is there to humble you.

4. “It is old and may perish at any moment.”

This AC is a war veteran.
It has seen things.
It has fought summers that would break lesser machines.
Every time it turns on, it’s rolling a D20 for survival.
And you know this.

5. “The Cycle: 45 minutes on, 45 minutes off.”

This is not a schedule.
This is a breathing pattern.
When the AC draws in its silent breath, you will suffer.
When the AC exhales, you will find relief.
But only then. And there will be no compromises.
If it runs longer, it screams.
If it rests longer, you scream.
But your screaming doesn't matter.

6. “At 10 PM, the AC sleeps.”

And so begins the Night of Suffering.
The air becomes thick.
The fans become your only allies.
You lie in bed like a Tennessee Williams tragic heroine, praying for a breeze.
You listen to the whining of the fans and pray they don't go out.

Lestat: Why Too Much Polish Does Not Work for Messy Characters

There are bad movies, and then there is Queen of the Damned, a film so spectacularly misguided that it loops back around into being wonderful. It’s a disaster, yes, but it’s a beautiful disaster — the kind that feels like it was made by a group of goth theater kids who were dared to adapt Anne Rice after drinking absinthe in a mall parking lot. The plot barely exists, the acting is chaotic, and the whole thing looks like it was shot through a fog machine someone forgot to turn off. And yet, somehow, it’s sexy. It’s hypnotic. It’s the cinematic equivalent of a glitter covered feral cat hissing at you from a velvet chaise. You know it’s wrong, but you can’t look away.

And the soundtrack? The soundtrack is the reason this movie still has a pulse. Jonathan Davis basically said, “What if Lestat fronted a nu metal band and it actually slapped,” and then delivered exactly that. “Slept So Long” remains one of the most vampirically perfect songs ever recorded — all swagger, menace, seduction, and that immortal boredom that only a centuries old narcissist can pull off. It takes all the love and hate one would have about the vampire that made them and pours it into a growl/snarl of a delivery. So hot. The soundtrack understood Lestat better than the script did. Better than the movie did. Better than the new show does. It captured the hunger, the ego, the theatricality. It captured the too much of him.

Which brings me to the show. The show is… fine. And that’s the problem. It’s beautifully shot, well acted, and emotionally grounded. It is prestige television doing what prestige television does. But Lestat is not prestige television. Lestat is not “fine.” Lestat is a cathedral sized ego in leather pants. He is glam rock arrogance and divine hunger and glittering narcissism wrapped in a French accent. He is a fallen angel with a microphone. He is not meant to be contained by tasteful lighting and careful pacing. He needs excess. He needs spectacle. He needs a medium that can handle a man who would absolutely ruin a band just to make it about him.

Louis, on the other hand, fits perfectly into the prestige TV mold. He is introspective, tortured, morally conflicted, and beautifully miserable. He is the patron saint of sad men staring out of windows. Cable loves that. Streaming loves that. Louis belongs in a slow burn drama where he can monologue about guilt for six episodes straight. He fits the format. Lestat does not. Lestat is bigger than cable, bigger than streaming, bigger than any platform that requires subtlety or restraint. He is a force of nature wearing eyeliner.

And honestly, when Anne Rice sat down to write him as a protagonist, she wasn’t thinking about television at all. She was thinking about glam rock. Spiritually, if not literally, she put on Ziggy Stardust, turned the volume up until the windows shook, and listened to it six hundred times. She wrote “making love to his ego” on a piece of paper, underlined it in red lipstick, and whispered, “Oh yes. This is him.” Because Lestat isn’t a vampire. He’s a glam rock god who happens to drink blood. He was born from glitter, ego, and theatrical excess — not from the quiet, tasteful suffering that prestige TV prefers.

So yes, Queen of the Damned is terrible. And yes, I love it. The soundtrack remains undefeated. The show is fine, which is the worst possible thing to be when dealing with a character who is constitutionally incapable of being fine. Louis belongs on cable. Lestat belongs on a stage made of starlight and bad decisions. Anne Rice summoned him with glam rock and lipstick magic, and no adaptation has ever fully recovered from that.

Anyway. That’s it. I’m tired now.

June Ipsy Extra: The Forced-Choice Hunger Games

June’s Ipsy Extra lineup dropped, and as always, I approached it with equal parts excitement and dread. You know, the emotional cocktail only a subscription box can deliver. It’s the familiar ritual: scroll, squint, whisper “don’t you dare,” and pray the algorithm doesn’t decide I need yet another mascara.

This month’s offerings are actually… good. Suspiciously good. Good enough that I’m already bracing for the two YOU HAVE NO CHOICE, YOU WILL TAKE THIS items Ipsy loves to assign like a chaotic fairy godmother.

But before we get to the predictions, here’s the lineup:

• Dew of the Gods Maui Glaze Oil Cleanser

• Moonslice Beauty eyeshadow & pigment palette

• Pinky B Beauty Hot Commodity bronzer palette

• Tower 28 ShineOn Lip Jelly

• Tower 28 LipSoftie tinted balm

• Lucky Chick eye brush trio

• Tarte Lights Camera Lashes Platinum

• Dieux Air Angel Gel Cream

• Rare Beauty Stay Vulnerable Melting Blush

A surprisingly solid mix of skincare, lips, and the usual “we found this in the warehouse” suspects.

My Ranking: The Joy-to-Utility Index

1. Dieux Air Angel Gel Cream

If Ipsy wants to force something on me, let it be this. Please, beauty gods, please.

It’s lightweight, elegant, and the kind of moisturizer that quietly earns its keep. I have plenty of skincare right now, but this is the kind of “future me will be smug” product I never regret.

2. Tower 28 ShineOn Lip Jelly

A no-brainer. A must-have. A “yes, I will take another” moment. I'm a little obsessed with Tower 28 anyway because they're supposed to be really good for people with sensitive skin. Mostly I've been eyeing their skin products, but Tower 28 lip products are joy in a tube, and this one was already on my mental wishlist.

3. Rare Beauty Melting Blush

Do I have a lot of blush? Yes.

Do I still want this? Also yes.

It’s soft, melty, and natural — the kind of blush that makes you look like you’re lit from within by a gentle secret.

4. Tower 28 LipSoftie Balm

I probably won’t be allowed both Tower 28 items, but if the stars align, this is the one I’ll snag. Getting both would be the score of the month, really. Even if I end up with brushes and mascara because I have no choice.

5. Moonslice Palette

Pretty, fun, and absolutely unnecessary for someone who already has more palettes than eyelids.

6. Tarte Lights Camera Lashes Platinum

NO.

No more mascara.

No more tubes.

No more “but this one is platinum.”

I refuse to build a mascara mausoleum in my drawer.

7. Dew of the Gods Oil Cleanser

Cute name, cute vibe, mid performance.

I don’t need novelty skincare right now.

8. Lucky Chick Brush Trio

Ipsy has been brush-happy lately, and I’m fully stocked.
And while the brush they sent out with Ultimate last month was really great and I love my Iconic London brushes they sent out a few months ago, yeah no. No more brushes. These aren’t special enough to break the streak.

9. Pinky B Bronzer Palette

I have a soft spot for her — I follow her on Instagram and I’m genuinely thrilled she made it into Ipsy Extras.

But I do not need more bronzer.

This is a “support from afar” moment.

The Forced-Choice Fear: What Ipsy Might Do

Every month, Ipsy assigns two items you cannot decline — the Dreaded Duo of Doom.

Worst-case scenario?

They saddle me with:

• the mascara

• the brushes

The Twin Horsemen of the Forced Choice Apocalypse.

But realistically, June’s lineup is too strong for them to waste both forced slots on pure filler. When they have Rare Beauty, Tower 28, Dieux, and a palette in the mix, they usually anchor at least one forced item with something mid-tier but respectable.

Most likely forced combos:

• Moonslice palette + Dieux which I will live with with a contented heart.

• Moonslice palette + Lucky Chick brushes Please no.

• Dieux + Lucky Chick brushes Sigh. Fiiiiine. At least I'd still get the one I want.

Least likely:

• Mascara + brushes Pleasenopleasenopleasenopleaseno.

• Mascara + anything, honestly

Mascara is too polarizing. Too many people have it marked “rarely.” Ipsy knows better than to start a riot.

The Best Possible Outcome

If Dieux is one of my forced items, I’m fine with that.

It’s the only product on the list where a forced slot feels like a gentle nudge instead of a punishment.

If Dieux is locked in, my choice slots become pure joy:

• Tower 28 ShineOn

• Rare Beauty Melting Blush

• maybe LipSoftie if the universe is kind

That’s a perfect June.

Final Prediction

June is shaping up to be one of those rare Ipsy Extra months where the math actually works out. Even if the algorithm wakes up and chooses mild violence (which is mascara, another mascara is violence), I’m still walking away with at least two items I genuinely want.

But if they force that mascara on me?

Just know I’ll be here, icing my foot from the Selena Gomez jar incident, muttering at the universe, and adding yet another tube to the Mascara Drawer of Shame.

The Secret Life of Seconds: A Meditation on Hummus, Medicine, and the Tiny Frictions of Being Human

 Last night I was trying to open a container of hummus.

Not the lid — though that can be its own boss fight — but the inner seal.

That hateful, cling-wrapped, vacuum-fused membrane of plastic that exists “for our protection,” as if chickpeas are a biohazard.

And as I was wrestling with it, I had a thought:

If technology (or aliens, or gods, or even humans) ever wants to truly understand humanity, it needs to start with this.

Not poetry.

Not philosophy.

Not the grand sweep of history.

But the seconds — the tiny, stupid, maddening seconds — we lose to packaging.

Because those seconds add up.

They accumulate into minutes, hours, years.

They shape our moods, our patience, our sense of competence.

They are the invisible tax of modern life.

And they fall into a few very specific categories.

1. The Food Plastics of Doom

The hummus condom.

The yogurt membrane.

The salsa skin.

The peanut butter seal that requires the strength of a minor deity.

These things are designed to be tamper evident, hygienic, and shelf stable.

But they are also designed by someone who has clearly never tried to open them with:

a. wet hands

b. arthritic hands

c. disabled hands

d. tired hands

e. or, you know, even normal human hands

There is no greater test of the human spirit than trying to peel a plastic film without splattering yourself in chickpeas.

2. The Medicine Packaging That Hates Us

If you want to understand suffering, watch a human try to open a blister pack while already in pain.

Or a “childproof” bottle that is also adult proof. And probably, ironically, not childproof.

Or a safety seal that requires tools.

Or the cotton stuffing that feels like a trap.

These are the moments where you can hear the faint whisper of the universe saying: “Hah, yeah, good luck with that, loser.”

3. The Threaded Things That Never Thread

Jars.

Bottles.

Thermos lids.

Anything that requires “just line it up.”

You twist.

It resists.

You twist harder.

It cross threads.

You swear.

You try again.

It’s wrong again.

You swear louder.

This is the human condition.

4. The Alignment Rituals

The “no, not like that, like that” objects:

a. Tupperware lids

b. battery covers

c. shampoo caps

d. USB ports (which famously require so many attempts: wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong, right)

e. anything with a hinge

f. anything with a snap (ugghhhh, baby clothes!)

g. anything with a notch

These are the tiny betrayals that define our relationship with technology far more than any grand innovation.

The Deeper Truth

If technology wants to understand humanity, it needs to understand friction.

Not metaphorical friction.

Literal friction.

The micro struggles.

The wasted seconds.

The tiny failures.

The small victories.

The quiet swearing.

The moments where we mutter, “Why is everything designed by someone who has never used their own product.”

This is where the real story of human technology interaction lives.

Not in the big questions about AI ethics or automation or the future of work.

But in the stupid, daily battles that shape our days.

The seal that won’t peel.

The cap that won’t align.

The blister pack that won’t blister.

The lid that won’t thread.

The zipper that won’t catch.

These are the places where humanity actually feels technology.

And if AI ever wants to understand us — really understand us — it should start with the hummus.

White Tea, Deep Yellow Light: A Late May Scent Meditation

Some mornings, the ritual is the point. Not the transformation, not the performance — just the quiet sequence of steps that remind me I have a body, a face, and a moment to myself before the day starts making demands.

Today’s lineup was simple and steady:

SUNDAY RILEY Good Genes, DERMELECT Rapid Repair Radiance Remedy Oil, and MURAD SPF. A trio that gives me that “I drink water and mind my business” finish without trying too hard. My skin looked bright, calm, and a little luminous — the kind of glow that feels earned rather than engineered.

But the real story today was the scent.

I’ve been wearing KORRES White Tea Eau de Toilette more often lately, and I’m realizing it’s becoming one of those quiet keepers — the fragrances that slip into your daily life without fanfare and suddenly feel like they’ve always belonged there.

White Tea isn’t loud. It doesn’t trail behind you or announce your presence. What it does is hum — a soft, steady presence that stays close to the skin and somehow still feels intentional.

The Opening: Neroli in Sunlight

The official top notes are bergamot, neroli, and mandarin, but what hits me hardest is the neroli. It has that green snap I love — fresh, almost leafy — but with a honeyed warmth underneath. It’s not citrus bright. It’s more like the color of late morning sunlight through a kitchen window. A deep, warm yellow that feels lived in rather than sparkling.

The Heart: Peony, My Unexpected Soft Spot

The heart notes list jasmine, peony, white tea, and freesia, but on my skin, the peony steps forward first. I’m not a deeply floral leaning floral person, but peony has always appealed to me instinctively. It’s airy without being sugary, soft without being powdery. It feels like breath, not bouquet.

The white tea keeps everything translucent — a veil rather than a cloud — and the jasmine stays politely in the background. The whole middle of the fragrance feels like a gentle exhale.

The Base: Oak Moss Doing the Heavy Lifting

The base is cedarwood, oak moss, and musk, and this is where the scent gets interesting.

Oak moss is one of those notes I underestimated for years. It’s earthy, a little leathery, a little ambery, a little mineral — never just one thing. And on me, it’s the oak moss that lingers. It’s what gives the whole fragrance that warm, rich, deep yellow impression. Not bright yellow. Not pastel. Something closer to old amber glass or sun warmed resin.

The cedarwood gives it structure.

The musk softens the edges.

But the oak moss gives it color.

Why It Works Right Now

Late May is a strange little liminal space — not quite spring, not quite summer, just a little feral around the edges. White Tea fits that mood perfectly. It’s clean without being sterile, floral without being girly, warm without being heavy. It breathes with the weather and with my skin.

I don’t know how it will behave in the heat of July, but for now, it’s exactly right. A scent that feels like a soft, steady glow — something I can wear without thinking, but still notice every time it catches the air.

And honestly? That’s my favorite kind of fragrance.

My May Box: A Study in Expectations, Shade Roulette, and Unexpected Wins

May’s box arrived with the energy of a mixed bag — not chaotic, not disappointing, just… full of little plot twists. Some items felt like gifts from the universe. Some felt like IPSY rummaged through my bathroom cabinet and said, “She probably needs more of this.” And some were the classic IPSY gambles that make me question why I trust anyone with shade selection.

Let’s get into it.

KORRES — Apothecary Wild Rose Night Brightening Sleeping Facial

I didn’t choose this, but I absolutely would have. Korres has never let me down. Their products always feel like they were made by someone who respects skin and also respects sleep.

• Will I use it? Yes.

• Excited? I am.

• First impressions? Very positive.

• Cheated? Not even a little.

This is the kind of item that makes a subscription feel like a good decision.

NARS Radiant Creamy Concealer — Vanilla L2

I didn’t pick this, and normally I wouldn’t let IPSY choose a shade for me. But in this case… they might have gotten it right. Vanilla L2 is about as close to my skin tone as IPSY has ever dared to go.

• Will I use it? If the shade behaves, yes.

• Excited? Apprehensive.

• First impressions? Neutral.

• Cheated? Yes — it’s a concealer. I can’t pretend otherwise.

This is the emotional equivalent of someone handing you a surprise quiz. It might be fine, but you’re still annoyed.

YSL Candy Glaze Lip Gloss Stick — Showcasing Nude

I didn’t choose this, but I would have. And I’m thrilled the shade is Nude — the only one that made sense for me.

• Will I use it? A luxury lip product? Absolutely.

• Excited? Deeply.

• First impressions? Extremely high.

• Cheated? No. I feel rewarded.

This is the star of the box. YSL, please don’t let me down.

BISHA Essential Setting Powder — Tokyo Translucent

I didn’t choose this and wouldn’t have. I have plenty of powder. I didn’t want to rely on IPSY for shade matching. And yet… the shade is fine. My goal in life is translucent skin anyway.

• Will I use it? Eventually.

• Excited? No.

• First impressions? Frustrated.

• Cheated? Kind of.

This is the “I didn’t ask for this” item. It’s not bad — it’s just unnecessary.

CIELE — The Blush Brush

I didn’t choose this and wouldn’t have. I have plenty of brushes. But then I watched some reviews, and apparently, people love this brush.

• Will I use it? Maybe.

• Excited? Not at first, but now… curious.

• First impressions? Meh.

• Second impressions? Surprisingly positive.

• Cheated? I did, but I’m willing to reconsider.

This is maybe the sleeper hit of the box — the product I didn’t want but might end up liking.

SUNDAY RILEY — Good Genes

One of my choices. A prestige product. A heavy hitter. A skincare overachiever.

• Will I use it? Yes.

• Excited? Very.

• First impressions? Strongly positive.

• Cheated? Not at all.

This is the kind of item that makes me feel like I’m gaming the system.

MURAD — Superactive Moisturizer SPF 50

Another one of my choices. I needed a good SPF moisturizer, and this one has a reputation for being a workhorse.

• Will I use it? Daily.

• Excited? Yes.

• First impressions? Very positive.

• Cheated? No — this is exactly what I signed up for.

This is the practical, grown-up product that earns its place.

RARE BEAUTY — Find Comfort Bouncy Body Cream (Awaken Confidence)

I chose this and was hoping I’d get the chance to. And now that I’ve seen reviews, I’m even more excited.

• Will I use it? Yes.

• Excited? Very.

• First impressions? The container is huge.

• Cheated? The opposite.

This is the indulgent, sensory, “I deserve nice things” item. Selena, thank you.

Final Thoughts

This month’s box is a mix of luxury, practicality, and IPSY’s signature unpredictability. The highs are very high — YSL, Good Genes, Rare Beauty, Korres. The lows are predictable — concealer roulette, powder fatigue, brush ambivalence.

But overall? This is a strong month. More wins than losses. More excitement than frustration. And a couple of items that might surprise me once they’re in my hands.

May 2026 Ipsy Ultimate Review: What They’re Offering vs. What I Would Actually Pick

May’s Ultimate is one of those months where Ipsy clearly wants to look luxurious without fully committing to the chaos or the thrill. It’s a prestige anchored month with a predictable structure: one luxury makeup item, one luxury skincare item, and one cheap brush everyone gets whether they want it or not.

I’m not emotionally invested in this box — not the way I was last month — but if I’m going to do Ultimate for a single month, I’m at least going to curate it intelligently.

Below is the full item pool, followed by the eight items I would choose if I had total control.

What Ipsy Is Offering This Month

Prestige / High Value Items

• YSL Candy Glaze Lip Gloss Stick — $43 (universal)

• Sunday Riley Good Genes — $85

• Natasha Denona My Dream Cheek Trio — $48

• Natasha Denona Resurfacing Honey & Charcoal Mask — $69

• Gisou Honey Infused Hair Oil — $46

• NARS Light Reflecting Foundation — $55

• NARS Radiant Creamy Concealer — $36

• Korres Wild Rose Brightening Sleeping Facial — $55

Mid Tier / Crowd Pleasers

• Rare Beauty Find Comfort Bouncy Body Cream — $36

• Murad Superactive Moisturizer SPF 50 — $35

• Makeup by Mario Ultra Suede Cozy Lip Crème — $26

• Bisha Essential Setting Powder — $40

Fake Prestige / Filler

• Dermalactives Resurfacing Honey & Charcoal Mask — $159 (inflated RV)

• Ciele Blush Brush — $32 (universal filler)

What I Would Pick (If I Had Full Control)

1. YSL Candy Glaze Lip Gloss Stick — $43

Everyone gets it, but I would’ve chosen it anyway.

It’s the sensory anchor of the month.

2. Ciele Blush Brush — $32

Everyone gets it, and I would not have chosen it.

This is the tax we pay for the good stuff.

3. Rare Beauty Find Comfort Body Cream — $36

I’m in a body care era, and Rare Beauty tends to nail scent and texture.

A solid, comforting pick.

4. Sunday Riley Good Genes — $85

The prestige skincare anchor.

If I’m doing Ultimate for one month, this is the item that makes it worth it.

5. Korres Wild Rose Brightening Sleeping Facial — $55

Brightening, hydrating, and something I’ll actually finish.

A practical luxury.

6. Gisou Honey Infused Hair Oil — $46

Lightweight, glossy, and fun.

Not a holy grail, but a good “treat” item.

7. Makeup by Mario Ultra Suede Cozy Lip Crème — $26

I’m in my lip era.

This is an easy yes.

8. Murad Superactive Moisturizer SPF 50 — $35

Brightening + SPF is always useful.

Not thrilling, but absolutely practical.

Final Thoughts

This isn’t a “thrill month.”

It’s a value month — and a smart one if you curate it carefully.

My eight picks give me:

• Prestige skincare I’ll actually use

• Two lip products I’ll enjoy

• Body care, hair care, and SPF

• Only one dud (the brush)

• A real value total around $310 for items I’ll genuinely use

For a month I’m not emotionally invested in, this is a clean, efficient, regret proof Ultimate.

IPSY MAY 2026 — The Month of Soft Utility and Scented Rituals

Every Ipsy month has a personality. Some months are chaotic little monsters throwing glitter and indie brands at my face. Some months are prestige heavy flexes. And some months — like this one — are quietly competent, built around things you’ll actually finish, actually enjoy, and actually use.

May 2026 is a Skin First, No Miss Month.

Not flashy. Not dramatic. But deeply usable.

And for me, that made the choice surprisingly easy.

THE CHOICE ITEMS

1. Rare Beauty — Find Comfort Gentle Exfoliating Body Wash

This was my top pick, and honestly? It wasn’t even close.

The scent notes alone read like a miniature perfume:

Top: lemon zest, rhubarb, pomelo

Mid: jasmine petals, violet, black tea

Base: vetiver, tonka bean, cashmere wood

This is not a “celebrity brand vanilla musk” situation. Which is honestly refreshing.

This is bright. Floral tea. Warm-wooded. Which is just up my alley.

This is a story.

It hits every part of my sensory profile: tart fruit, humid florals, vetiver grounding, tonka warmth. And I love body washes — they’re one of the few categories I actually finish. This one feels like a ritual anchor, not a filler item.

This is an easy first pick for me.

2. Saie Beauty — Hydrabeam Concealer

This would have been a contender for #1 if Ipsy let me pick my shade. Hydrabeam is soft focus, hydrating, and forgiving — basically the complexion product equivalent of a warm lightbulb.

But shade roulette is real, and I’ve been burned before.

So it lands at #2: high emotional value, but too risky for the top slot.

3. The Ordinary — UV Filters SPF 45 Serum

A serum + SPF hybrid is always a win for my fair skin. Lightweight, daily use, and practical. This is the “responsible adult” choice.

However, I am deeply into scents right now.

For tha reason, it sits comfortably in third place.

4. Dermelect — Self Esteem Beauty Sleep Serum

A perfectly good exfoliating night serum.

No complaints, no excitement.

This is the workhorse of the lineup — reliable, but not a spark of joy.

5. Smashbox — Photo Finish Original Primer

A classic. A legend.

I have 4 other primers right now. This does not pass the stash test.

There’s nothing wrong with it.

It’s just not what I need right now.

May isn’t a prestige month.

It’s not a chaotic month.

It’s not a “who even are these brands” month.

It’s a use-everything month — and for me, that means leaning into the item that feels good, a sensory moment, a soft place to land.

This month, that’s the Rare Beauty body wash.

And honestly? I can’t wait for my shower to smell like lemon zest, black tea, and cashmere wood.

The City of Good Intentions

 Recently, I’ve been doing a lot of fictional worldbuilding. One of the cities I’ve created has a very strict magic system designed to “improve” standard humans for their own good. The mages in charge of this project view themselves as champions for humanity, as good people, as beneficial researchers. They’re wrong.

They don’t see that every “improvement” they impose comes with a cost. They don’t notice how closely they watch their subjects, how they tally their habits, how they quietly adjust the rules without asking. They believe they’re helping. They believe they’re being responsible. They believe they’re preventing harm.

But from the inside, it doesn’t feel like help. It feels like surveillance. It feels like being managed. It feels like your choices are no longer your own, even when the choices are small and silly and human.

And the strangest part is that the mages don’t understand why anyone would mind. They don’t see the imbalance. They don’t see the asymmetry. They don’t see that autonomy is not a luxury—it’s the air people breathe.

I keep thinking about how easy it is, in fiction and in life, for “I’m just trying to help” to turn into “I’ve decided what’s best for you.” And how hard it is to name the moment when care crosses the line into control.

There is something deeply dehumanizing about being watched. Not witnessed. Not affirmed, but watched, scrutinized, assessed, and evaluated. Monitored. It objectifies you. It makes you feel less like a person and more like someone's failing project.

Out of respect, I do my best to go through life ignorant of most people's daily choices. What they eat, what they love, what they cling to, what delights them? That is not my business unless they choose to share it.  That kind of autonomy should not be a luxury. It should be the baseline.

And like I said, the mages in my story aren't evil. They see themselves as helpful. They believe their vision for the world is correct. But here's the thing, they never asked the people they are 'helping' if they wanted that specific kind of help. It probably never even occurs to them that they should.  Instead of giving humanity the room to figure out their own problems, they step in and make decisions for them. It's deeply dehumanizing. 

Maybe that’s the quiet lesson tucked inside all this worldbuilding: even the kindest intentions can warp when they forget to leave room for choice. Even the gentlest “improvements” can feel like shackles when they’re imposed instead of invited. I don’t think most people set out to become mages of control — in fiction or in life — but it happens easily when we stop remembering that other people are whole, thinking beings with their own rhythms, comforts, and ways of journeying through life. That journey is never straightforward. People make mistakes, sometimes massive ones. 

But trying to steer another person’s path — by watching, correcting, or setting the tempo for their growth — is its own kind of misstep. It’s a reminder that even well‑intentioned guidance can become a cage when it forgets that every person’s journey is theirs alone.

Ipsy Original April 2026

The bag itself is pink with a little fake pearl on the zipper. It's cute. Not really my style, but cute. 

1. BELLÁPIERRE Purifying Milky Cleanser

Will I use this? Yes. I always use cleansers. Eventually.

Excitement level: Mild shrug.

First impression: Neutral. It’s scentless, the milky texture is nice, and it didn’t offend me.

Do I feel cheated? No — the size is fair.

Verdict: The dependable background character of the bag. Not thrilling, not disappointing, just… present.

2. MEMOIRE ARCHIVES First Class

Will I use this? I always end up using scents, even the weird ones.

Excitement level: Low. It didn’t blend with my chemistry at all.

First impression: It sat on my skin like, “HELLO, I AM PERFUME,” and not in a charming way. Strong chemical opening.

Do I feel cheated? No — good size, even if the scent is socially awkward.

Verdict: The extrovert at the party who introduces themselves too loudly and too close. I’ll find a way to make it work, but we’re not friends yet.

3. RUBY ROSE Lip Oil in Watermelon

Will I use this? Absolutely. I’m in my lip‑product era.

Excitement level: High — a good lip oil is always welcome.

First impression: It sits so well on my lips. Smooth, glossy, looks great… and smells like watermelon if watermelon were in middle school.

Do I feel cheated? Not at all.

Verdict: Cute, fun, and easy to love. A little nostalgic, a little silly, very usable.

4. TATCHA Dewy Milk Moisturizer

Will I use this? Yes — it’s so tiny I could blink and it would be gone.

Excitement level: Hard to muster when the sample is the size of a lentil.

First impression: I know the product is good (I own the full size), but this sample is comically small.

Do I feel cheated? Yes. Deeply.

Verdict: Luxury in theory, dollhouse portion in practice.

5. YSL Lash Clash Extreme Volume Mascara

Will I use this? Yes — even though Ipsy needs to calm down with the mascaras.

Excitement level: Surprisingly high once I saw it.

First impression: Substantial packaging, generous travel size, feels like a real product.

Do I feel cheated? Not at all.

Verdict: The unexpected winner. I wasn’t looking for another mascara, but this one showed up ready to impress.

6. SOL DE JANEIRO Cheirosa 76 Perfume Mist

Will I use this? Oh absolutely. It will take restraint not to overuse it.

Excitement level: Deeply excited.

First impression: Gorgeous packaging, stunning scent, only flaw is that it tips over like a fainting Victorian heroine.

Do I feel cheated? Not even a little. Perfect travel size.

Verdict: The star of the bag. This scent sits on my skin like it was always meant to be there. Warm, sweet, confident — it’s a whole mood.

Final Thoughts

This month’s bag was a mix of practical, nostalgic, mildly disappointing, and genuinely delightful. The cleanser will get used, the perfume will need some coaxing, the lip oil is adorable, the Tatcha sample is a crime, the YSL mascara is a pleasant surprise, and Cheirosa 76 is the kind of scent that makes you rethink your entire fragrance wardrobe.

If every bag had one product this good, I’d never complain again.