The Evening Blahs

I'm writing this at around 10:30 and I feel fine. I feel like myself and things are nice. But four to five hours ago, I felt horrible. I was tired and depressed and anxious and just really blah. 

This has been happening to my roommate as well. It's an ongoing thing during the earlier hours of the evening. We feel awful. The light in the room doesn't seem like it's enough. Everything is just bad.  As the evening continues, the light levels out, things feel better, we feel more like ourselves. 

Freaky winter.

Compliments

I got complimented on something I made today. I felt really good about that. 

One of my goals for this year is to use the craft/art items I have in the house to make things around here more interesting. I'm not gonna say beautiful but....certainly more interesting.

Feet in the Water

The fanfic I did topped out at about 8 kudos and 40 hits. One person bookmarked it. I'm okay with this. It's more hits than the blog ever receives! 

I decided I would finish the current blanket before I try any other projects. I know quite a lot of the newer yarn will go into the blanket as I really can't see myself using it for anything else. 

The holiday decorations are down and the house is back to normal. We vacuumed and washed some clothes. I have two baskets I need to fold and no room to put them away as of yet. I'll try to tackle that as the week winds down. I have a project for tomorrow and then therapy. 

Overall, this was a pretty good day. The cat opted to sleep with me during a nap and that is always sweet of her.

Jan Fourth

The internet was out for hours and hours and hours today. It was stressful. I'm exhausted. That's all for now.

Jan Third

A YouTuber that I follow recently talked about being trolled and bullied online. She talked about how she knew a lot of people didn't discuss these things because it put them in a position of being vulnerable. Sometimes it would even invite more of the same problems. 

However, she wanted to address the situation because she knows it's something a lot of people face. Sometimes people can feel very alone in situations like this. 

Her video was very good and she made some excellent points. One point, however, really stood out to me.

She talked about how people who hate you NEVER wish you well. They may say things that SOUND like advice while they are bullying you, but don't take what they say seriously. They aren't saying anything that is in your best interest. All they are saying is that they hate you/what you are doing/what you represent/what you are changing and they want it to end. And once they hate you, there isn't anything you can really do to make them stop hating you. It's best to just ignore them and keep doing what you feel is best. 

This reminds me of something once said on Pretty Little Liars. I don't remember the quote exactly, but basically, it was "They don't want you to change. They just want you to go away."

It's an important thing for me to remember when it comes to any changes I try to make in my physical health. The world wants me to NOT be fat, but it isn't like I would be any more accepted if I wasn't. Getting healthy will always have to be on my terms because even once I have my health in order, there are still a million ways in which I'm at odds with the Typicals. 

It does sadden and annoy me that this woman is getting hate for her channel. It's honestly the sweetest and most peaceful channel out there. Then again, that's the kind of thing people usually want to destroy. 

Jan Second

It was insanely cold today. I made a scarf with my fingers. I adore it. It only took like an hour. 

The cat has been in a bad mood all day. She's on my shoulder right now, growling every time that I move. It's so lovely to know I'm such a constant disappointment to her.

Even though I'm not in school anymore, I still feel the same tension I did as a kid when Christmas Break ends. I think that's understandable, given how many winters my roommate and I have ended up in the hospital. 

I have a project I need to do this week and I need to fold towels at some point. I also need to find one of the many pocket folders we have and use it for therapy. Aside from that, I mostly want to knit and play Sims.

Jan First

I was having a good year but at about 12:30 AM the cat puked on me.

Happy New Year!

I ate my black-eyed peas. I did some folding. I knitted some stuff. I posted some fic. I read more fic. I played games, talked to people, and did stretches. Not a bad first day.

This is also Millie's Gotcha Day. So glad we have her weird little self in our lives.