Decent

Despite being in pain, I had a pretty good day today. It was a nice Fall day when things were kind of dark and spooky-looking. Even though the darkness can get to me during this time of year, I was able to really enjoy the beauty of it today.

We're having a very busy week and I hope things go well for us. My roommate has to get some things settled as he changes from one doctor to the other and there might be some car repairs going on as well. At some point we still need to get a new couch but that keeps getting put off because all this other stuff is happening. By the time things slow down, it will probably be too cold to bother looking. 

I'm not sure there is anything we can do about that though.

Nervous

My nerves are shot today. They've been shot for a while. I think I've just had too many shocks and surprises lately. I need things to calm down so I can just relax for a while. This is a mess. 

I need a break. I need some happiness and joy. I need things to just be quiet for a while.

Uncomfortable

I have some issues going on right now that are making my whole body pretty uncomfortable. It doesn't help that things have been stressful and that's making me twitch to no end. 

I really need things to heal up and calm down. This is just all way too much.

Scared

The last couple of times we've gotten the mail, I've received stressful, potentially life-damaging forms to fill out. The last time I went to the mail, said form reached me the day after it was due. 

Given that, I'm a bit trepiduous about picking up the mail tomorrow. What fresh hell of mail will be waiting for me? I just don't have the spoons for this anymore.

Tired

There has been a lot of stress lately. It's mostly been in the household, not directed at me personally. Yesterday, I got some stress directed at me and now I'm having to try and deal with it. 

I did everything I could to make the situation work in my favor. I did everything I could. Hopefully it works out.

Running Up Thine Hill

 Someone did a Middle English cover of Kate Bush's Running Up that Hill and it's kind of glorious. I love medieval covers of modern songs. It's interesting to see how much music has changed and all the ways in which it hasn't. 

That was the good news of the day. The rest of the day was a mix of medical professionals not being all that professional and me disappointing others. So yeah, not a great day.

SAD

I'm starting to feel the twitches of Seasonal Affective Disorder. Today was bright in parts, but even still I felt the urge to cry most of the day. I feel the nervousness kicking in and despite the fact that I have medication to deal with this, it's still messing with me. I'm not sure what to do about it other than sitting under my light. 

My mother used to have a bad case of it every year. They didn't know what it was back then, of course. She would be so much worse during the winter months and then kind of blossom back out as spring hit. During the summer she would be her happiest, only to start closing up again as fall returned. 

We have ways of trying to combat this, but there is only so much we can do. Still, we'll try our best.