Mother's Day Orphan

Tomorrow is Mother's Day and for the second year in a row, my uncle won't be here. It makes me sad. Seeing him on Mother's Day had kind of become a tradition. In a very real way, it made up for the lack of mother and grandmother. I'm not going to say spending the day with them was always fun, but they were who I had. Now they're gone.

So I feel a little orphaned. I feel a little abandoned. Okay, I always feel a little abandoned, but this time, I really do. Hell, even the cats don't like me right now! Hah!

Sinead O'Connor (who is her own massive can of worms, more on that later) wrote tonight about how the last person to really touch her was a medical professional. I'm glad I can say I'm not in that situation anymore. Mind you, few years ago that was true. Now I have my best friend's baby who gives me cuddled and hugs. It's like I may have lost my status as a child, but I've gained so much as an Auntie.

I do wish my mom could have met her.

Better Mood

We finished up the rest of the bill paying today. We're free and clear for the month and as always, that makes me happy. One less thing to worry about. We were maybe going to have to go out tomorrow, but it turns out that we won't. I'm happy about that too.

I'm in a far better mood than last night. I think maybe a simple thing like just getting some good sleep helped my disposition. I feel almost content. I would feel totally content, but part of my mind is busy wondering when the contentment will come to a blazing end. But that's just the nature of me.

Oh, and the lawn is mowed. That's always a nice bonus too.

Spring Paranoia

Okay, this is weird. I was looking back at the blog and this time last year, the North side of my house was being invaded by bees. My roommate managed to get them to go away. I'm still not sure of all the details. I just remember being pretty paranoid about the thought of the house being invaded by bees in a kind of horror movie way. Thankfully, that didn't happen.

Despite staying pretty caught up on my happy meds, I've been really edgy lately. I think maybe it's just the time of year. I don't know. There are some  trips to Tulsa that have to happen and I'm nervy about those. I keep feeling like things are going wrong. Paranoia can be a bitch. Maybe I'm just tired.

We're expecting more storms next week. Hopefully I'll miss them when I'm having to be out. I'm ready for some long periods of rest and staying close to the house.

Unexpected Election News

It looks like Trump will be the GOP candidate. I have to say, I'm a little shocked. I honestly thought Trump would drop out or one of the others would pull ahead of him. Oddly enough, that never happened.

This is a strange election. It still seems like there is a battle to control the two parties and their direction even before the general election starts happening. In my 40 odd years, this has been the strangest election I've seen.

Tony Nod

Hamilton was nominated for 16 Tony awards. That breaks the record for nominations and I couldn't be happier. I would also like to note that this the first year I have ever cared about Tony nominations. One more thing Miranda has made me care about.

I'm not trying to be flippant or willfully ignorant with that statement. It isn't that I don't like theater. I very much do. However, being from Oklahoma and poor, I have always felt very removed from the Tony awards and what they represented. It felt like I had no right to an opinion. Now, I'm so invested emotionally in Hamilton that I felt I did.

I think that's one of the real legacies of Hamilton. It feels like everyone's musical. It feels like it's open to all of us, welcoming to all of us, and there for all of us. It feels like each person who listens to it and watches it can understand that this truly is their story. I think it's one of the reasons why Hamilton is so popular.

Congratulations, LMM! Well done! I hope you win every Tony you can.

Post Blanket Blues

I finished the bulk of the baby blanket. It probably could have been sent off tomorrow, but when it came to weaving in the stray ends, I just couldn't bring myself to do it. I was just kind of in that OVER IT place with the blanket. I needed a break. I still have plenty of time for it to get there before the baby arrives, so we're fine.

Sometimes I just get that way with projects. I get so intent on finishing them that by the time I reach the end, I'm sort of beyond the point of wanting to touch it again. I think it's why I have trouble editing books. It's something I need to find a way around.

For now, I'll just take a day or so to be away from  the blanket. Then I'll spend the like 20 minutes I need to finish it. Sending it off will feel really good.

Tween Weirdness and Enlightenment

When I was ten, I sat in my room near the door and listened as best I could as my mom watched the miniseries, Lace. I was utterly fascinated by this several part show, even though I only caught bits and pieces of it. And in the weird way that only the budding psychosexual mind of a tween can twist things around, I had this whole crazy idea about the plot.

In my little girl mind, this show was about a woman who grew up and got revenge on the three women who, as teenagers, gave birth to her and sold her into sex slavery. I imagined the whole rest of the story (the parts I didn't get to hear) revolved around all the horrible sexy things she had to do in order to get to these women. I also imagined it focused quite a lot on  their glee as teenagers in knowing this kid would be harmed because of course they had to be evil.

I actually had this whole little strange part of my imagination about things like this. I have no idea why. The things we imagine as kids sometimes see so far more horrifying when we, as adults, understand the grim reality of them.

Recently, I remembered this whole Lace obsession. I wikied it and the plot was only marginally what I thought it was. The girl does confront the three women, but only because she wants to know which one is her mother. She wasn't sold into sex slavery. She was adopted privately and the whole scandal revolved around the fact that it was such a forbidden thing to have a baby out of wedlock at this time. In the end, she finds the one who is her mother and they hug. That's seriously and disappointingly it.

Then again, VC Andrews didn't write this, so I shouldn't be surprised.