So when I asked my friend for a topic tonight, I think I caught her off guard because she says, "Ummmmmm...........so what do you look for in a business, like one you want to go back to again and again?" I'm not sure where she got the question, but I felt it was a good question and rather apt for the experience we had today while shopping.
For the last several trips to Walmart, an item that we regularly buy and very much need has been missing. This is not an unusual item. It's something very, very common that many people buy and should always be in stock. But it hasn't been. In fact, when we were in Fort Smith last week, we looked for the item at the Walmarts there. Again, it was missing. Today, when ended up at another store, where the item was located and bought.
This whole mess annoyed me to no end. A common product that a store predictably has shouldn't end up being the object of this much effort and drama. And yet it was, because Walmart isn't consistent. It isn't consistent because it isn't well organized. Worse, when you point this out to them,they try and deny it.
The usual tactic of a business that is trying to deny things is gaslighting. Because they do not have the product in question, their defense is usually to make you seem like you're crazy. "I don't know that we've ever carried that product." Translation: You made that up in your crazy brain. "We may have gotten rid of that. No one ever buys it." Translation: You are a sick, sad person and no one else buys the crazy shit you buy. "Are you SURE you didn't see any?" Translation: You are crazy and trying to get attention. Of course the product is there. You're just too insane to see it.
Ugggh. I really hate that.
So, okay, what makes a business run well?
1. A good business is well organized. This people in the business have a firm grasp of what is happening. They know where everyone is, how their product works, and when things need to be replaced. They do not assume organization is just something that is created and stays. They constantly WORK at organizing. They view it as an important goal and fire people when they begin to disrupt the organizing process.
2. A good business is consistent. If someone expects to find Product A at your place of business, make sure Product A is always in stock. That is actually a pretty simple concept. People will return to your establishment if they know they will not be wasting their time when they go there. They will have good feelings about your company if you make sure you do as you have said you would do.
3. A good business owns their mistakes. Don't treat your customers like they are children and do not treat them like they are crazy. If you make a mistake, own it. If you failed them in some way, admit to it. Find a way to make it better. Find a way to improve what is happening. Assure them that the crappy service they had this time will not happen again. Admitting you made a mistake not only saves you a lot of time, it gives respect to your customer. It validates that you understand they had a bad experience and you plan to make sure that doesn't happen again. You are NOT going to make them believe you did nothing wrong. They know you did. Just own up to it and move past it.
There are a lot of places I boycott. Some of them are because they made me sick. Some got too expensive for stupid reasons. Some are Chick-Fill-A. The majority of them are places where their lack of organization led to inconsistent products. When I tried to complain about this, I was treated like I was insane. For these reasons, the places are avoided. Well, except for Walmart, which is damned near UNavoidable. For now.
I know I'm not the only one who does this either. People complain about the state of the economy in this country. One of the places people should look to for change is in the way businesses are ran. People need to be responsible and organized. They need to make sure their place is consistent. They need to respond to any feedback without getting defensive and chasing off customers. If they could do these things, their businesses will probably grow.
Monday, July 16, 2012
Sunday, July 15, 2012
All The Other Opinions
I watched a movie last week, one that had a rating of 2.5 for my roommate and I before I saw it. I felt it deserved more than that, and as I rated the movie, I happened to glance down at some of the reviews. The first one I read talked about how they were puzzled at this movie having such low ratings when they found it to be delightful. It seems I wasn't the only person who felt this way.
I've talked about this on the blog before. We live in a culture of opinion addiction. Because we have forums and comment sections and the ability to Like things on Facebook, not to mention the countless other avenues for opinion sharing, we all feel like we have the right, hell, almost the DUTY to give out our opinions all the time to everyone. We also feel we have the to give these opinions about things even if we have absolutely no idea what we're talking about.
And yes, I realize I'm giving my opinion right now, but consider the difference. This is a blog framed and shaped around my opinions. It is online and accessible, but for the most part, people have to seek it out. Honestly, you have to actually give a crap about my opinion before you would even bother reading the blog.
This opinion thing caused me some problems where the book I am reading is concerned. This book is the fifth in a series and I started looking at forums about it before I got to this book. People were very critical of this book and of the characters in it. They more or less acted like the characters did nothing in these books except horrible and immoral things. . . . and not in a fun or entertaining way. I stupidly allowed these opinions to sour me on the idea of the book. I felt heartsick about some of these people becoming what it was said they became.
I'm reading the book now and I actually find that I disagree with so many of the opinions concerning it. I've found the book to be very good and don't think the actions of the characters were as horrible as everyone claimed. I don't even think a lot of the decisions they made were bad. Had I been in their positions and possessed of their worldview, I would have made many of these same decisions myself.
In a way, I want to be annoyed with the people on the forums. However, I realize that if I should be annoyed at anyone, it's me. I allowed their opinions to taint my feelings about the book, in ways that I find to be completely baseless now that I've read it. I also should have kept in mind some of the basic rules of other people's opinions.
For instance, people's opinions are usually very filtered through their own world view. I think most of us try to NOT be this way, but quite often we fail. We look at the world through our own lens and being impartial is quite difficult. Most of us don't even function in the same reality.
For example, in this book, there are many occasions where the queen is announced before coming to court and all of her titles are called out. There are a lot of titles. When I read this, and noticed how the repetition of the titles happened quite frequently, I felt that the character took notice of this because she felt burdened by all of the titles. She wore each one of them like a 200 lb weight on her back. She was being crushed by the titles. I see it this way because my world view is one where too much being expected of you is deeply burdensome and tiring.
However, I have read other people say that they hated this character because she kept insisting they say her titles all the time. This person felt like she was bragging. I'm not sure why. Maybe they don't like women with a lot of responsibilities. Maybe they hate it when pretty girls are given too many gifts and crowns.
Note the difference though. Same character. Same books. I see her as someone being crushed by her duties. This other person sees her as a vain braggart. It is our perception of the character that creates our own reality of her.
Look, I'm not saying that the reviews, analysis, and discussions one finds on the internet are all bad. In many ways, they are positive and helpful. When I was thinking about buying something a while back, I read the reviews of it and realized it had a whole list of problems I hadn't even considered. In this case, the reviews saved me a lot of money.
I think it's a good idea that when we are reading the opinions of others, we take make sure to consider what may be framing and shaping these opinions. We all see the world as we see it. One person's 2.5 Stars on a movie may be your 4 Star movie. Sometimes we just need to take the plunge and find out for ourselves.
I've talked about this on the blog before. We live in a culture of opinion addiction. Because we have forums and comment sections and the ability to Like things on Facebook, not to mention the countless other avenues for opinion sharing, we all feel like we have the right, hell, almost the DUTY to give out our opinions all the time to everyone. We also feel we have the to give these opinions about things even if we have absolutely no idea what we're talking about.
And yes, I realize I'm giving my opinion right now, but consider the difference. This is a blog framed and shaped around my opinions. It is online and accessible, but for the most part, people have to seek it out. Honestly, you have to actually give a crap about my opinion before you would even bother reading the blog.
This opinion thing caused me some problems where the book I am reading is concerned. This book is the fifth in a series and I started looking at forums about it before I got to this book. People were very critical of this book and of the characters in it. They more or less acted like the characters did nothing in these books except horrible and immoral things. . . . and not in a fun or entertaining way. I stupidly allowed these opinions to sour me on the idea of the book. I felt heartsick about some of these people becoming what it was said they became.
I'm reading the book now and I actually find that I disagree with so many of the opinions concerning it. I've found the book to be very good and don't think the actions of the characters were as horrible as everyone claimed. I don't even think a lot of the decisions they made were bad. Had I been in their positions and possessed of their worldview, I would have made many of these same decisions myself.
In a way, I want to be annoyed with the people on the forums. However, I realize that if I should be annoyed at anyone, it's me. I allowed their opinions to taint my feelings about the book, in ways that I find to be completely baseless now that I've read it. I also should have kept in mind some of the basic rules of other people's opinions.
For instance, people's opinions are usually very filtered through their own world view. I think most of us try to NOT be this way, but quite often we fail. We look at the world through our own lens and being impartial is quite difficult. Most of us don't even function in the same reality.
For example, in this book, there are many occasions where the queen is announced before coming to court and all of her titles are called out. There are a lot of titles. When I read this, and noticed how the repetition of the titles happened quite frequently, I felt that the character took notice of this because she felt burdened by all of the titles. She wore each one of them like a 200 lb weight on her back. She was being crushed by the titles. I see it this way because my world view is one where too much being expected of you is deeply burdensome and tiring.
However, I have read other people say that they hated this character because she kept insisting they say her titles all the time. This person felt like she was bragging. I'm not sure why. Maybe they don't like women with a lot of responsibilities. Maybe they hate it when pretty girls are given too many gifts and crowns.
Note the difference though. Same character. Same books. I see her as someone being crushed by her duties. This other person sees her as a vain braggart. It is our perception of the character that creates our own reality of her.
Look, I'm not saying that the reviews, analysis, and discussions one finds on the internet are all bad. In many ways, they are positive and helpful. When I was thinking about buying something a while back, I read the reviews of it and realized it had a whole list of problems I hadn't even considered. In this case, the reviews saved me a lot of money.
I think it's a good idea that when we are reading the opinions of others, we take make sure to consider what may be framing and shaping these opinions. We all see the world as we see it. One person's 2.5 Stars on a movie may be your 4 Star movie. Sometimes we just need to take the plunge and find out for ourselves.
Mid-July Happies
Half way through July, and I'm sitting here with a cat against my leg so that she can get warm. That's right, folks. Warm. By some miracle, this summer is turning out to be as mild as winter was. As it stands, even if the next six weeks are hot, it's still a deeply mild summer compared to the last several we have had. This is wonderful because heat makes people homicidal.
Despite the cool down, the fleas are staying away. We did the whole house vacuuming today and saw no fleas, even though part of said vacuuming happened under my bed . . . a safe haven for fleas during the rest of the year. I have no idea how people's gardens are doing, but I would assume well. Everyone seems to be in a chipper mood. For July in Oklahoma, that is almost impossible.
I remember at the end of June how I felt fairly, if in a reserved way, positive about the summer. Now that I am midway through July, I feel even better about things. It's been days and days since we even turned on the AC. This is saving us a lot of money and, honestly, it's been the first financial mercy we've had all year.
So yeah, I'm going to count my blessings here. I can take sudden storms and brief internet outages if it means I get to sleep in comfort. I can handle walking through the driveway with puddles in it if it means I'm not having to walk in deeply evil levels of heat. I will be content to sit in a humid room if said room is still tolerable despite the fact that my AC is off. And yes, I totally just typed "human" for "humid" and had to change it.
Whatever the case, I'm deeply thankful for the summer we've had so far. Aside from some very unpleasant days, it's been nice. It's almost making me enjoy the season again.
Despite the cool down, the fleas are staying away. We did the whole house vacuuming today and saw no fleas, even though part of said vacuuming happened under my bed . . . a safe haven for fleas during the rest of the year. I have no idea how people's gardens are doing, but I would assume well. Everyone seems to be in a chipper mood. For July in Oklahoma, that is almost impossible.
I remember at the end of June how I felt fairly, if in a reserved way, positive about the summer. Now that I am midway through July, I feel even better about things. It's been days and days since we even turned on the AC. This is saving us a lot of money and, honestly, it's been the first financial mercy we've had all year.
So yeah, I'm going to count my blessings here. I can take sudden storms and brief internet outages if it means I get to sleep in comfort. I can handle walking through the driveway with puddles in it if it means I'm not having to walk in deeply evil levels of heat. I will be content to sit in a humid room if said room is still tolerable despite the fact that my AC is off. And yes, I totally just typed "human" for "humid" and had to change it.
Whatever the case, I'm deeply thankful for the summer we've had so far. Aside from some very unpleasant days, it's been nice. It's almost making me enjoy the season again.
Friday, July 13, 2012
Of Ponytails and Shorts
I had a couple of these events happen to me recently and they both deal with the facts of summer. The first one occurred a few weeks ago. I had to drive my roommate to the store. I wasn't going to be getting out of the van, but that meant I would be sitting in it while it was hot. I decided I would wear shorts instead of putting on full length pants.
This was not easy for me. See, when I was in the fourth grade (and ironically at my least heavy . . . I think weighed maybe 150 and I was 5'4" at the time), I would go to school in shorts and people would make fun of me. One boy actually went so far as to ask a whole group of people if they thought I looked as 'retarded' in shorts as he thought I did. Then he proceeded to make noises he apparently associated with people who have mental handicaps. This line of insults cut deep because they not only called out my looks but also questioned my intelligence. It was too much to handle.
So as much as possible, I try to stay in pants. I would rather go out in public with no bra on than be seen in shorts. In fact, the first several times I drove my roommate to the store in shorts, I put a pair of pants into my purse, just in case we had car trouble and had to deal with a wrecker or anyone else.
After I realized how much easier it was to handle the van while wearing shorts, I decided to stop bringing the pants. If I break down, I break down. Whomever offers assistance will either have to deal with it or just move on.
The second event happened on Monday when I was dealing with the long ass wait in line. I left the house with my hair in a ponytail. Not one of those cute ones that looks so well done and perky. No, this was messy, crooked, and halfassed. It was also deeply comfortable, because it kept my hair both off my neck and out of my face.
As I was in line, part of my mind started reminding me that I should take my hair down from the ponytail so that I would look presentable. But then I realized . . . there was no point in doing that because A. it would make me hot and what little breeze there was would keep blowing my hair in my face and B. no one really noticed or gave a fuck what my hair looked like.
See, one of the advantages of being a fat woman is that most people view you as ugly. I realize that sounds like a disadvantage, and it most certainly can be, but like any disadvantage, there is always a perk. In this case, the perk is that 'if people think I am ugly no matter what I do, and until I reach some acceptable weight nothing else I do will change their mind . . . I really do not HAVE TO do anything else.'
To anyone who thinks fat woman=ugly woman, it does NOT matter if your hair is in a messy ponytail. They're not going to think MORE favorably of you if your hair is down. You'll just be an ugly fat woman with her hair down . . . and in her face. As for everyone else, they would probably assume, correctly, that you kept your hair up because it's hot. They won't think less of you for it.
And really, even if they did, what does it matter? Making sure that you are as comfortable as you can be in all situations should always be one of your goals. There are, of course, some situations where that isn't possible. Many jobs have dress codes or uniforms. Certain businesses or organizations call for a certain level of dress as well. However, in your day to day life, it's best to consider what makes you the most comfortable far, above, and beyond what will make other people the most accepting of you.
Why? I think it comes down to lasting effect. Most people will only marginally notice details about you. Put simply, most of us are too busy to take a deep interest in what other people are wearing, unless of course this is what we do for a living or part of our religion. So . . why placate people who you may never see again or who won't even remember you five minutes from now over your own comfort, which you certainly will remember and will continue to affect the rest of your day?
Choose yourself. You'd be shocked at how happy this makes you.
Wednesday, July 11, 2012
New Shoes
I suffer from fairly intense Buyer's Remorse. Just about every purchase I make for anything sends me into a frenzy of worry and emotional regret. It really makes me loathe the buying process. It also annoys the piss out of me because I know that being decisive is a good thing to be. It's something I want to be. My brain just never wants this.
I think part of this stems from being so poor. All financial decisions are potentially disastrous in a monetary way. Even spending too much on a bra might come back and bite me in the ass when I needed the money for something else. Big purchases send me into a very dark place. I was emotionally fucked for weeks after choosing my last automobile. I'm still not sure I made the best decision. Actually, I am. I know I made the best decision give my limited options.
This even happens in stupid Facebook games. I'll save up gold or coins or whatever to buy items I like, only to instantly regret them once I make the purchase. Any game that rewards you with a slow gain of premium coins always screws with me the most. Every purchase I make feels like the wrong one. Half the time, I'll sit there and let the premium coins build up because I just feel unhappy about doing anything with them at all. No one should get this emotional about a stupid social game.
However, I must say I am quite pleased with my new shoes. They look decentish and fit well. They also appear somewhat more durable than the last several pair and feel lighter on my feet. Normally when I go shoe shopping, it is a day of bitterness and remorse. Today though, I came out of there feeling positive and very sure about the decision I made.
In the meantime, I'm going to work on this issue I have with buying stuff. I want to make informed and logical decisions about purchases, but past that, I want to just let it go and accept that I did the best with what I had to work with. This constant emotional drain and analysis on what I did just isn't good for me. It needs to stop.
I think part of this stems from being so poor. All financial decisions are potentially disastrous in a monetary way. Even spending too much on a bra might come back and bite me in the ass when I needed the money for something else. Big purchases send me into a very dark place. I was emotionally fucked for weeks after choosing my last automobile. I'm still not sure I made the best decision. Actually, I am. I know I made the best decision give my limited options.
This even happens in stupid Facebook games. I'll save up gold or coins or whatever to buy items I like, only to instantly regret them once I make the purchase. Any game that rewards you with a slow gain of premium coins always screws with me the most. Every purchase I make feels like the wrong one. Half the time, I'll sit there and let the premium coins build up because I just feel unhappy about doing anything with them at all. No one should get this emotional about a stupid social game.
However, I must say I am quite pleased with my new shoes. They look decentish and fit well. They also appear somewhat more durable than the last several pair and feel lighter on my feet. Normally when I go shoe shopping, it is a day of bitterness and remorse. Today though, I came out of there feeling positive and very sure about the decision I made.
In the meantime, I'm going to work on this issue I have with buying stuff. I want to make informed and logical decisions about purchases, but past that, I want to just let it go and accept that I did the best with what I had to work with. This constant emotional drain and analysis on what I did just isn't good for me. It needs to stop.
Tuesday, July 10, 2012
Shoe Blues
On my quest towards better health, I think it's a good idea to inform other rather portly people of some of the issues you will encounter that no one warns you about. We've already discussed pain (summery: It happens and it's bad). Now it's time to talk about a matter than is mundane, yet fundamental at the same time. I'm talking about shoes.
Shoes are a difficult thing for fat people. Okay, most things are difficult for us, but shoes are pretty high up there. Because shoes come in standard sizes, with only slight variations in width, about 99% of all shoes out there won't fit me. The problem is that my feet are wider than the wide width. They're also frequently swollen. Because of this, it becomes not just a matter of width of the foot, but also depth of the foot.
I foot measures about an 8. However, because of the width/depth issues, no size 8 will fit me, even in their assumed 'WW' sizes. Because of this, I have to get shoes longer than my foot just to compensate for the width/depth. Most often, I have to go several sizes larger, which means my foot slides around in my shoes, usually resulting in the smashing of my toes. Shoes at this size are usually ugly, clunky, and sad. They are never comfortable.
Because I'm poor, the shoes are also cheap. Actually, this isn't just a matter of being poor. More expensive shoes tend to be even more Nazi about sizing than the cheap ones do. This is unfortunate, because more expensive shoes offer far better construction and last longer.
Of course, construction hasn't really been that much of an issue. I knew my shoes were cheap, but I never had them on my feet for very long (see: ugly, clunky, and sad), I usually don't walk that far, and only put them on when absolutely necessary. My cheap shoes still usually lasted me a while.
I'm walking more now, in fact, walking daily for exercise. The walk is intense. It doesn't last very long . . . not yet, anyway, but it's still way more walking than I've done in years. And so now, my cheap shoes are becoming a problem. The cheap shoes were designed with the sedentary large person in mind. Yes, they can take some pressure, but not that often and not for very long. They really weren't designed to be walked in daily by some fat girl. Because of this, they're falling apart.
So . . . if you are a heavy person who decides to start a routine of walking, keep in mind that moving a lot of weight around in shoes is very hard on said shoes. Walk for a month to let the routine become habit. Once you know you're going to stick with it, invest in the best shoes you can afford. Now, you may not be able to afford much. If you can't, just keep in mind that your shoes are going to experience a lot of wear on them. Keep an eye on them and note any damages. You don't want to be in the middle of a walk and almost trip because the back part of your shoe decides to break free (totally did not happen to me today).
HOWEVER . . . please take my advice and wait a month before you make any investments. Do not be one of these people who decides they will now work out and spends hundreds on gear . . . only to lose interest within a few days. Make sure the work out is really something you are going to stick with before you turn this into a big financial investment. Otherwise, you just may end up still as fat, but with less money. No one wants that.
Shoes are a difficult thing for fat people. Okay, most things are difficult for us, but shoes are pretty high up there. Because shoes come in standard sizes, with only slight variations in width, about 99% of all shoes out there won't fit me. The problem is that my feet are wider than the wide width. They're also frequently swollen. Because of this, it becomes not just a matter of width of the foot, but also depth of the foot.
I foot measures about an 8. However, because of the width/depth issues, no size 8 will fit me, even in their assumed 'WW' sizes. Because of this, I have to get shoes longer than my foot just to compensate for the width/depth. Most often, I have to go several sizes larger, which means my foot slides around in my shoes, usually resulting in the smashing of my toes. Shoes at this size are usually ugly, clunky, and sad. They are never comfortable.
Because I'm poor, the shoes are also cheap. Actually, this isn't just a matter of being poor. More expensive shoes tend to be even more Nazi about sizing than the cheap ones do. This is unfortunate, because more expensive shoes offer far better construction and last longer.
Of course, construction hasn't really been that much of an issue. I knew my shoes were cheap, but I never had them on my feet for very long (see: ugly, clunky, and sad), I usually don't walk that far, and only put them on when absolutely necessary. My cheap shoes still usually lasted me a while.
I'm walking more now, in fact, walking daily for exercise. The walk is intense. It doesn't last very long . . . not yet, anyway, but it's still way more walking than I've done in years. And so now, my cheap shoes are becoming a problem. The cheap shoes were designed with the sedentary large person in mind. Yes, they can take some pressure, but not that often and not for very long. They really weren't designed to be walked in daily by some fat girl. Because of this, they're falling apart.
So . . . if you are a heavy person who decides to start a routine of walking, keep in mind that moving a lot of weight around in shoes is very hard on said shoes. Walk for a month to let the routine become habit. Once you know you're going to stick with it, invest in the best shoes you can afford. Now, you may not be able to afford much. If you can't, just keep in mind that your shoes are going to experience a lot of wear on them. Keep an eye on them and note any damages. You don't want to be in the middle of a walk and almost trip because the back part of your shoe decides to break free (totally did not happen to me today).
HOWEVER . . . please take my advice and wait a month before you make any investments. Do not be one of these people who decides they will now work out and spends hundreds on gear . . . only to lose interest within a few days. Make sure the work out is really something you are going to stick with before you turn this into a big financial investment. Otherwise, you just may end up still as fat, but with less money. No one wants that.
Just Say No
Yesterday, I got up at five in the morning so I could have a good parking place and decent place in line for something. The place where I was waiting opened at 8:00 am, and last year when I got there, it was about seven. By that time, the line was already around the building and there were no close parking places at all. I did not want to deal with that again, so I got up earlier and hurried my ass down there.
Of course, even at six, there were still a lot of people. Luckily, none of them had handicap parking stickers so I still managed to get a decent parking place. I also got into the park of the line where I could easily sit without getting in anyone's way. By 6:15, the line was getting around the building again. Also about this time, the first screaming baby of the day began to scream.
So for the next two hours, I put up with screaming babies, morning sun, occasional drips from the building, and other people. I also put up with the judgement and snittiness of the people who work in the building as they would pass by us to get to their jobs. I thought it was all worth it though, because I wasn't in as much pain as I could be and there would be a pay off.
Except there wasn't. The assistance that I was hoping to obtain lowered their max income limit. Last year, I got this with no problem. This year, even on the meager stipend of disability, I still had too much money coming in to receive help. I was very upset and disappointed about this at the time. I could have really used the money, even though it technically wasn't a lot of money. When you're really poor, even an extra twenty bucks can make a huge difference in your life.
I understand that things are tough on everyone. I know the state has very limited money for their programs and I completely understand. So even though I was disappointed at the time, I'm not upset about being denied now.
However, I am upset about the fact that we weren't just leveled with about the income limits. If they had simply placed a sign on the door of the building showing what would work and what would not, I think they could have saved a lot of people some pain and discomfort. Most people would have looked at the sign, saw they had too much income for the month, and gone home. It would have meant shorter lines, less work for the employees, less paperwork, and less denial letters being sent out.
I think there is this cultural aversion to disappointing people. We avoid telling others no or that they don't qualify or it won't work for the, because we truly hate seeing people's hopes dashed . . . well, some of us do. Avoiding telling people the harsh news may seem easier at first, but really, it just ends up wasting a lot of time and energy. If you have the power to tell someone not to waste their time because it's never going to happen for them, by all means, please do it. Even if you hurt them, you're doing them a favor in the long run. You may be doing a lot of people favors.
Of course, even at six, there were still a lot of people. Luckily, none of them had handicap parking stickers so I still managed to get a decent parking place. I also got into the park of the line where I could easily sit without getting in anyone's way. By 6:15, the line was getting around the building again. Also about this time, the first screaming baby of the day began to scream.
So for the next two hours, I put up with screaming babies, morning sun, occasional drips from the building, and other people. I also put up with the judgement and snittiness of the people who work in the building as they would pass by us to get to their jobs. I thought it was all worth it though, because I wasn't in as much pain as I could be and there would be a pay off.
Except there wasn't. The assistance that I was hoping to obtain lowered their max income limit. Last year, I got this with no problem. This year, even on the meager stipend of disability, I still had too much money coming in to receive help. I was very upset and disappointed about this at the time. I could have really used the money, even though it technically wasn't a lot of money. When you're really poor, even an extra twenty bucks can make a huge difference in your life.
I understand that things are tough on everyone. I know the state has very limited money for their programs and I completely understand. So even though I was disappointed at the time, I'm not upset about being denied now.
However, I am upset about the fact that we weren't just leveled with about the income limits. If they had simply placed a sign on the door of the building showing what would work and what would not, I think they could have saved a lot of people some pain and discomfort. Most people would have looked at the sign, saw they had too much income for the month, and gone home. It would have meant shorter lines, less work for the employees, less paperwork, and less denial letters being sent out.
I think there is this cultural aversion to disappointing people. We avoid telling others no or that they don't qualify or it won't work for the, because we truly hate seeing people's hopes dashed . . . well, some of us do. Avoiding telling people the harsh news may seem easier at first, but really, it just ends up wasting a lot of time and energy. If you have the power to tell someone not to waste their time because it's never going to happen for them, by all means, please do it. Even if you hurt them, you're doing them a favor in the long run. You may be doing a lot of people favors.
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