Beauty Lessons in Reflection

 Today I am canceling my IPSY subscription. I have enough product to last for quite a while, and continuing would only mean giving in to FOMO. I shall not do that. I shall use down the products I have and then perhaps consider subscribing again.

As this was, at its core, a quest to learn more about cosmetics and skincare, I think it’s a good idea to reflect on what I actually learned and discovered. Let’s discuss.

1. Blush is my best friend
Because I always valued a goth pallor and loathed the natural red in my cheeks, I avoided blush when I was younger. In my 50s, I find that if I stick with the old routine, I look rather dead. I mean, goth-dead, yes, but not in the way I’m going for. Blush helps a lot with that, giving me actual liveliness while still emphasizing the pallor I want.

2. Bronzer
Along the same lines, I stayed away from anything that would darken my face, even at the edges. But I’ve found that the right bronzer (in my case, very light ones) can make you look stunning and beautifully glowy. In fact, if my skincare is doing what it’s supposed to do, some days I just add a small touch of bronzer and go out like that. It works surprisingly well.

3. Minimum coverage foundation
It’s ironic that when I was younger and had stunning skin, I could apply a thick layer of Pale as Possible foundation and look fine. I probably didn’t even need it. These days, foundations that do the smallest amount of blurring are best for me. Once you reach a certain age, you want to look like a living person, and you definitely don’t want foundation caking in your wrinkles. Very light foundations help with that. Bonus: many of them are moisturizers with SPF.

4. Setting spray
Ah, the varnish level of makeup. It’s not actually that thick, but it does help things stay in place longer (which for me is still not that long) and helps the whole look make more sense.

I started with a cheap setting spray, which was serviceable. Eventually I received a higher-end one from IPSY, and that made a noticeable difference.

5. Primer
I cannot express this strongly enough: if you are a person of a certain age and your makeup just isn’t working, invest in a good primer. Skin prep is key. And this isn’t just about putting it on. It’s about putting it on and waiting while it sinks in. Give it time. Yes, this means budgeting a little more time for your routine, but letting your primer set will save you time later because you won’t be fretting over how weird everything else looks.

6. Toner
Toner was a step I wasn’t sure about before I started using it. Clean your skin, sure, but do we need toner too? Yes. Yes, we do.

Toner not only removes leftover impurities, it also restores pH balance and readies your skin for the next steps. It gives you a level playing field, and that is extremely helpful.

7. Serums and moisturizers
My roommate occasionally comments on how I slather things on my face. And I do. I slather proudly, because my skin has never been happier. Serums serve different purposes depending on your needs. I have many skin needs and use various serums accordingly. I do not do this not all at once, but as I feel drawn to one or another. There is one I use every day because it makes my skin feel and look amazing.

Moisturizing happens during the usual rituals, but also outside of them. My skin can get dry and unhappy pretty often. Adding a little moisturizer helps a lot. It restores bounce, and it’s also a small moment of mood reset and grounding.

8. Toppers
Speaking of mood resets, I’ve come to value eyeshadow toppers. Just a small pop of color on the eyelid brings cheer to the overall look. Some might argue that this is too young for me or unprofessional. I would argue back that it’s not their eyelid, so shut up. Toppers bring me joy and add to the aesthetic I’m going for.

And really? Joy is the key. Whatever you’re doing with these products should make you feel better. Not because you’re complying with beauty standards. Not because you’re performing femme like it’s a duty. But because your senses found something delightful.

If you’re not getting that, explore other products that might.

9. Scent
Speaking of joy, scent has become one of the truest pleasures I discovered in this process.

Between perfumes and scented oils, altering my scent experience can shape my day. A bit of hair mist, a touch on the wrists, or a scented moisturizer on my legs can shift my mood from “why am I continuing?” to “actually, I’m okay.” This has become important to me.

10. Layering scents
I don’t have a signature scent. I have scent moods, scent themes, scent agendas. These are usually achieved by layering something mysterious with something genderless, something femme, and then something a little provocative. Within this, I get what I’m going for. It sets the tone until the scents fade. After that, they’re replaced, perhaps with the same grouping, perhaps with something entirely different.

Further Thoughts

1. Beautiful packaging makes me happy. Moments of happiness matter, and pretty things please me.

2. Just because it’s expensive doesn’t mean it’s better. Do your research.

3. At the same time, just because it’s expensive doesn’t mean it isn’t worth it. Again, do your research.

4. Cosmetics are an investment. Handle them with the same level of research, time, and energy as any investment.

5. Beauty routines are about you. This is your skin, your face, your hair, your joy. If it works for you, do it. If it doesn’t, don’t keep doing it just because.

Closing Reflection
The value I received wasn’t just blog fodder. I learned a lot about myself, my skin, my features, and the way they’re changing with time. That will continue. My skin in my fifties will not be my skin in my sixties. My skin right now may not be my skin in a year, especially after having my thyroid removed.

I will always maintain that skincare and makeup routines are not obligations. They are expressions of art. This is about the tending to and decoration of a canvas that moves, changes temperature, alters with environment, and is subject to internal shifts. It is a challenging canvas, and the challenge is always different. Like any art, the artist should create because it pleases the artist.

Pleasure, after all, is far more important than we often allow ourselves to admit.