The State of Me

Today my therapist and I talked about how I've not been writing in a while. I posted a story to a collection today, but it's the first thing I've written in months. I can't say this is because of my father's death. I'd more or less stopped writing fiction before that. I did stop my journal afterward though. I just couldn't face my own inner thoughts.

My father's death has had a profound effect on me though. I don't even feel like myself a lot of the time. I feel like I'm somewhere off in the distance. I don't know how to get back to me. 

Perhaps time will heal this.

Summer

It's been a while since I posted. The end of summer has been hard on me. I'm having a lot of trouble sleeping and even functioning half the time. I think I have some kind of chronic fatigue now. It's getting worse.

This is affecting my mental and emotional state. I keep a daily track of my food intake and jot down a line about how I'm doing. The last several weeks of entries have been various states of sad.

Then again, this shouldn't surprise me. My father passed away. How can I be anything else besides sad? 

Hopefully things will be better in the Fall.

Rain Again

Out of the blue, it rained again last night. It knocked the temp down a lot, though we still had to run the AC. I'm doing my best to endure August, though it's not easy. 

I'm still very much missing my dad. I think that isn't really getting any easier. I dreamed about him again last night and woke up just missing him so much. 

I have a project due at the end of the month and I'm ready for it. It's interesting to be prepared ahead of time. I'm glad I'm in that place.

Rain

We got rain today and yesterday. It was enough to keep things coolish for the last few days but probably not enough to sustain through tomorrow. That sucks because we have to go out tomorrow.

This is going to be the third week in a row I'm having to drive to my least favorite place to drive. It can't be helped. The van needs fixing. Still, I hate that parking lot with a passion. Plus, I'll have to be out at the absolute hottest point in the day. Sigh.

Anyway, hopefully the next couple of days go well. I would really like to going to the mechanic every week. 

Relief

The next three days are supposed to be decent. We'll still have the AC on tomorrow, but this weekend we might hopefully just have fans running.  This will be a nice change.

Past that, well, it's supposed to be nasty for the rest of the month. I guess I can't complain too much (yes I can) because it's August and it's always our hottest month.

I'll try my best to savor these next three days.

Quiet Weekend

Other than some cat issues, this weekend was fairly calm and good. I'm glad about that. We needed it. Last week had THINGS going on and this week will as well. This is also bill paying week and that always makes things more complicated. 

This is the last night of House of the Dragon season 2. I think this season lagged some because they're having to structure episodes around battles and a lot of those battles happen later in the story. They needed things for people to do and a lot of that ended up being filler. Hopefully they won't make this mistake in future seasons.