Game of Thrones 30 Day Challenge: Day 10

Day Ten: A scene that made you laugh.

I think I'm going to have to go both series and book to answer this one, though both of them involve Small Council situations. The first one, video to the side, is a scene exclusively in the show, where the Small Council basically plays musical chairs.  Tywin has moved the Small Council closer to his chambers and everyone is being reseated. Littlefinger rushes to sit as close to him as possible. Varys and the Grandmaester follow, if slower. Cersei, not one to be regulated to the end of the table, moves her chair next to her father's. Tyrion, of course, does his best to make his opinion of the whole thing very well known.

My scene from the book is about Mace Tyrell. I haven't talked a lot about the Tyrells. I like the Tyrells because they're sneaky and have no point of view characters, which makes them all the more sneaky. They're the only Great Family that doesn't have a POV character. We never know what they're really thinking and for some reason, that amuses me.

Their current lord Mace Tyrell is either really stupid or brilliantly pretending to be really stupid. I'm honestly not sure at this point, though I love the idea of him just pretending. I think the fact that he would fake being so dumb around all the annoyed Lannisters is just priceless.

When Kevan Lannister appointed Mace to be Hand of the King, Mace was delighted with this. He was so delighted that he had a chair constructed, SHAPED LIKE A HAND, for him to sit in while he was busy being Hand of the King. For some reason, the idea of this overly pompous plump man sitting in a chair shaped like a hand while he tries to rule a kingdom makes me giggle uncontrollably. It is seriously one of the tackiest ideas I can think of and I can only imagine everyone else's expressions when they saw it.

Game of Thrones 30 Day Challenge: Day 9

Day Nine: A scene that made you cry.

I think A Feast for Crows is a very sad book.  In a lot of ways, it's probably the saddest of the books so far, mostly because it's about the consequences of things that have happened up to this point.  AFfC has its very funny points, most of which have to do with Cersei and her craziness.  A lot of what is sad about the book is witnessed by Jaime and Brienne, as they make their separate journeys back north.

Feast deals with a lot of the consequences of the war. The Riverlands are ripped apart. There is a lot of chaos, a lot of destruction. Many people are completely physically and emotionally devastated. For both Jaime and Brienne, who grew up on the 'glory and honor in battle' mythos, this is difficult to handle.  The ravages of war are horrible and very few people have come away from this untouched, including people who used to have secured positions and now don't.

One of the most touching parts in Brienne's chapters is when she finds Pod. Pod has been serving as Tyrion's squire. At one point, he even saved his life. Pod's been in the background of Tyrion's chapters, a quiet and loyal young man. Tyrion felt a certain kinship to him and tried to educate him as much as he could. Of course, that didn't mean that Tyrion thought about him at all once he had to flee the kingdom.

When Brienne finds Pod, the boy cries and tells her how Tyrion left him. Even though he had served Tyrion well for a while now, in the end, he was just another servant to be disregarded when things got rough. Pod was devastated by this and Brienne felt a lot of sympathy for him. She knew what it was like to feel loyal to someone with more rank than you and be cast aside when they didn't have time for you anymore.

One of the reasons I find this scene to be so sad is because I had to face a kind of nasty truth when I read it. I'd forgotten about Pod. Like the high ranking POVs who dominate these books, I thought only about the consequences of what happened to Tyrion in terms of how it affected him and how it affected Sansa. Pod's place in it didn't mean anything to me, because I'd allowed myself for him not to mean much. He was just a background character who fetched wine and occasionally saved people from being killed. He didn't matter.

Pod does matter though. Podrick and all the other minor characters who populate these books have the same hopes, thoughts, and feelings as everyone else. Their deaths, their lives, their hopes, dreams, and fears matter. It was something I needed to be reminded of, and something, honestly, I shouldn't have HAD to be reminded of. It was interesting to see my own bias at play.

Game of Thrones 30 Day Challenge: Day 8

Day 8: Discuss the character you like the least.

This is difficult for me. For one thing, there are like 9000 characters in these books and many of them are unlikable. Anyone who is basically just some raping crazy asshole isn't someone I'm going to like (The Mountain, Zolo the Fat), but those people usually serve the purpose of being dangers and obstacles for the protagonists. They're not really characters are much as they are just problems.

There are other characters, like Lysa Tully and Viserys Targaryen, who are horrible, selfish people who cause a lot of problems . . . but they're dead now so my dislike for them is rather muted.  Again, they mainly served the purpose of being problems for the protagonists. And really, without Lysa doing what she did before the books started and Viserys selling Dany to Drogo, we really wouldn't HAVE a story in the way we know it. Characters like this serve a purpose.

It's easy to say I hate the Boltons and the Freys, but the truth is, I don't hate ALL the Boltons or all the Freys. I hate Ramsay but he does make for an interesting problem. I hate things Roose Bolton has done, but I can't help but understand some of his motivation. I also like his comical relationship with his wife. Said wife happens to be a Frey and is my favorite Frey, along with her sister, Gatehouse Ami.

I don't hate any of the Lannisters. I even like Cersei. I hated Joff, but that isn't a problem anymore. I love his two younger siblings. I love Jaime and Tyrion. I adored Kevin and Gemma. And I think that old magnificent bastard Tywin was one of the more interesting villains we tackled. And that's the thing about good antagonists. If they're done well, you can't help but like them. If they move the story forward, even if you hate them in the midst of what they are doing, you still like the fact that they are there.

Stannis gets on my nerves because he bitches all the time and always has that look on his face. His fanbase gets on my nerves more, because they see him as some kind of badass  . . . when really he's a Jan Brady who bitches all the time and has that look on his face. And yet, I adore Davos and Davos loves him, so Stannis is tolerated.

I could actually go on about this for a while and arrive at no conclusion. Everyone I dislike usually either dies, redeems themselves, makes someone else happy, or has a really important point in the story.  So no least favorites.

Game of Thrones 30 Day Challenge: Day 7

Day Seven: Favorite Episode of the Series

There are a lot of episodes of the show that I love.  In fact, I mostly love every episode, as I kind of see it just as an amazing thing that the books I love are being mad into a show that has such amazing depth and drama to it.  However, if I have to pick a favorite episode, it would be from season three, Now His Watch has Ended.

The clip above shows the reason I love it so much. This is really Dany's finest moment in Storm of Swords. She needs an army and knows the only way she can get one is to buy a slave army, but she truly hates slavery and doesn't want to do that. She also doesn't have the money to purchase the army and has to trade one of her dragons for it. All the while, the slavemaster is being a total rude pervert to her, thinking she doesn't understand what he's saying. She does though, but she never lets him know that until it's too late.

This scene is polarizing to a lot of people. While most see it as a great moment for Dany, other people seem quite offended by it. Then again, a lot of people get quite uncomfortable when women are deceptive, clever, and display a lot of power. Oh sure, it's fine for them to defend themselves, but let's not take it too far. I'm rolling my eyes so hard at that idea. Dany does deceive people and she does use everything she has to win. Why would she not?

Game of Thrones 30 Day Challenge: Day 6

Day Six: Favorite Book of the Series (so far)

For a long time, I really considered my favorite book to be A Storm of Swords, and it is still very good. Mind you, all of the books are very good. In every book, there are elements that I dearly love and story lines I can't live without.  Storm is a stunning book. Beautiful and horrible things happen in it. People you want to die actually do die, but in ways that screws up everyone else.

Characters that you wanted to live and find happy lives end up in miserable places. Other people come so close to having happy endings, only to have everything fall apart. This plays out over and over again. It's horrible but also kind of wonderful at the same time.  At the end of the book, some people have gained power, but you know it's going to cause them problems. Other people are fleeing for their lives. The reunions that have happened are full of misconceptions and clear fragmentation. Nothing is getting better, even if things are finding resolution.

Recently though, I'm finding that my favorite book is A Dance with Dragons. Actually, maybe I didn't even realize that until last night when I started talking about how important failure is as a theme in that book. I realized I truly loved ADWD and had enjoyed the hell out of reading it. Here are some reasons why.

Bran finds the Children of the Forest, and Bloodraven, and magic, and basically everything he's always knew had to be true.  Bran is actually one of the few characters in this book who reaches his destination. Unlike everyone else who does a lot of traveling, Bran ends this leg of his quest and begins a new one. Is that just peachy? NOPE! Bran has gotten darker over his travels. He's eaten human flesh (because he had no choice), he's warging into people, and he's not sure what he found is worth it. He's not sure if this isn't a trap. Still! Children of the Forest are here and magic is here and he gets to be part of that.

There are so many new plots developing. Northern lords may be plotting to overthrow the Boltons .  . .  or they may not be. Other than the Manderlies, we really don't know. Mance is helping the Northern lords to overthrow he Boltons . . . or he may not be. Various conversations, the people with Mance, and even the Pink Letter are all suspect at this point. Some STUFF in going on, but as to what all of it means? That remains to be seen. Still, it is astounding how five books in, the political intrigue is still just as strong as it was in the first book, if not more.

Along with Bloodraven, we have more ties to the Great Bastards happening. Young Griff may or may not be a Blackfyre. Varys may or may not be a Blackfyre. One way or the other, the ties are there because the Golden Company sails back to Westoros and begins to attack. Our next king may be a Targaryen, though how strong his claim is depends on who is telling the truth and who isn't. So yeah, not only more political intrigue, but some that ties back several generations and has very little to do with the current mess.

Cersie is amazing. Jaime is amazing. Asha is amazing. Griff is amazingly in love with a man who has been dead for like 20 years. The Dornish plots look like they will be completely great. Arya goes to assassin school. Jon is treated like the King in the North. The dragons terrorize everyone and Dany ends the book about to have a showdown with an old enemy.

Best of all, this book has a lot of truly perfect 'if only' moments. Many characters reach this place where they realize they have made some huge mistakes. Tyrion has a very important 'if only' moment. Dany does as well. In fact, Dany's last chapter is deeply important in terms of her character development and helps to show her how much she has messed things up. Jon doesn't quite have his 'if only' moment, but we know it is coming.

Dany, Tyrion, Jon, Asha, Cersie, Theon, and Davos are all humbled in this book. They all reach a crisis point where they know they have hit a very low level and have to rebuild from this point. They're being set up to begin the long march to the end of this thing. These are their trials by fire and they need that to help them make it to the end of winter.

A lot of people hate Dance. I went into the book knowing that people hated it and didn't expect a lot from it. If you hated it the first time through, I suggest you read it again. Read the book understanding that very little gets resolved on a physical level, but a lot of resolution happens on a personal level. Read it knowing that people fail over and over again, that we see these characters and their worst, but that many of them know they are at their worst and want to move away from that. Dance is a brilliant book. I'm damned happy to have read it.

Game of Thrones 30 Day Challenge: Day 5

Day Five: What is your favorite moment?

Clearly there are a lot of scenes in these books that could qualify as a favorite moment.  I think in terms of every major character, there are scenes that have left me breathless with them, scenes that altered my perspective on them, and scenes that stuck with me for a long time. No, actually,  the truth is, there are scenes that were written so well that they sunk into my bones and became part of who I am.

I could talk about how much I love the moment when Jaime realizes he has to go back and save Brienne and everything that comes from that. I could talk about Bran leaving Winterfell in ruins, but knowing that it was broken but not dead, just like him. I could talk about so, so many scenes with Davos and so many scenes with Dany. I could discuss Cersie's walk of shame, which I will probably discuss later in this challenge. I could talk about the Red Wedding or the Red Viper or Sam meeting up with Bran.

In A Dance with Dragons, a lot of the most beautifully written scenes of the series happen. Dance is a difficult book for a lot of people. It took forever for GRRM to finish and what happens in it wasn't what people expected to happen or even wanted to happen. Dance is a book about failures, really. Jon fails as Lord Commander. Dany fails as Queen of Meereen. Davos feels he has failed Stannis and his wife. Cersie faces her darkest hour. Quentin fails in his father's mission. Tyrion fails at basically everything he tries.

The biggest failure in the book is the surprising continuation of a story that started as the biggest failure in A Clash of Kings.  In Clash, Theon Greyjoy betrayed Robb, disobeyed his father, and then lost everything. He destroyed Winterfell, helped to ruin Robb, and started the chain of events that led to the Red Wedding. I assumed he was dead by this point. Most people assumed this.

Theon wasn't dead though. He'd been taken prisoner by the evil sadist Ramsay and suffered physical and emotional abuse. He'd had various parts of his body flayed and then removed. He was missing various fingers and toes, most of his teeth, and his genitals. He was a broken man who didn't even answer to his own name anymore. He was terrified of Ramsay and now existed as Ramsay's creature.

Theon is used for several things in Dance. He is used to betray more Ironborn. He is used to help convince people that Jeyne Poole is Arya Stark. He is used by various Northern lords as part of their political games, most of which he doesn't even understand. He is then used as part of the plot to free Jeyne.

My favorite moment, which I believe is a defining and turning point moment for Theon, is when he finds himself alone in the Godswood, beneath the Heart Tree. He isn't a follower of this religion, though truthfully, he's never been a serious follower of the religion of the Ironborn either.

While he is beneath this tree, he begins to think about the Starks and how they were his true family. He realizes that he loved Robb as his best friend and his brother, and that he should have died with him at the Red Wedding. Theon begs for forgiveness for all the damage he has caused. In that moment, he begins to shed all the damage that Ramsay has caused and begins to think for himself again. He begins to act on behalf of others and try to do what he believes to be right.

What is so beautiful about this moment is that GRRM hits on a universal truth that it sometimes takes people forever to realize. Failure happens all the time. Sometimes are failures are small and easily dismissed. Sometimes our failures do so much damage we can't even begin to process a way to get past it. But even in the midst of the most devastating failure, we can find redemption. We can find forgiveness. We can choose to turn our lives around, stop wallowing in everything we've done wrong, and start trying to do things right.

A lot of religion is based off this concept, but it isn't JUST a religious concept. It is a human concept and the path to freedom and success. Choose to stop screwing up. Learn from the mistakes. Make better choices. Theon still fails at things past this point, but he also knows that failure isn't his only option.This knowledge helps him to have the courage to work with the plan to save Jeyne and it's what drives him to not only leap from the walls of the castle to save them but also what keeps him pushing one foot in front of the other as he and Jeyne walk through snow to what they hope will be safety.

The scene is very well written. When I read it, I could feel the cold damp as it soaked into Theon's  pants. I could hear the way the snow muffled all the other sounds around him, making it seem that only he and tree existed in that moment. I could feel his hot tears running down his face. I could hear the choke on his voice as he tried to verbalize any of what he was feeling. I could feel the sudden sense of being clean as he asked for forgiveness. I could feel him being changed as a character.

It was magical and I am truly happy to have read it. I'm happy it's in my bones.

Game of Thrones 30 Day Challenge: Day 4

Day Four: Where in the Song of Ice and Fire world would you want to live?

Dorne

Normally, I would never choose Dorne. It's hot as hell and there aren't that many resources. What parts of it aren't desert are rocky. It doesn't grow a whole lot and on a world where you can have summers that last ten years, yes, it certainly gets very, very hot. It would be difficult to withstand the climate.

That doesn't matter too much though, because it's also the most liberated place in the Seven Kingdoms. Women have rights there. They inherit based on their birth placement and not on their gender. They can take lovers and no one says much about it. They can have children without being married and no one bats an eye. It's common enough for them  to marry for love when they DO happen to get married.

I love these books, but women have very few places where they are treated socially and legally well. Dorne is about as close as you get to that, and being treated well would be my primary concern. Anywhere else in the world, so far as we have read about, my gender would greatly limit my options.

Game of Thrones 30 Day Challenge: Day 3

Sorry about not posting last night. Storms happened and electricity alluded me for a time. That time happened to be when I usually blog.

DAY THREE: FAVORITE HOUSE WORDS

Baratheon: Ours is the Fury.

Each noble house has their own family motto or, as they are called in the book, house words. The most famous of these, even by people who aren't familiar with GRRM's work, are the house words of the Starks, "Winter is coming." This phrase has become fairly common in our culture. And while I like the Stark words, they aren't my favorite, mostly because how I view house words as shaping the psychology of the characters associated with them.

House words should play on a character, almost haunt them. They should be a driving force behind how and why the character acts the way they do. "Winter is coming" should remind a Stark to be cautious in their actions. Conserve resources because you'll need them for the lean and cold months. "Growing strong" keeps a Tyrell on her feet, helping her to remember to be bold, because her house is trying to better itself. "We do not sow" serves to justify to a Greyjoy why it's okay to abandon plans, friends, ties, even hope. They set down no roots. They can only steal.

"Ours is the fury" started not only the last war, but the current war. Robert's Rebellion happened because he was outraged that his betrothed would choose another man over him, so much that he can't even begin to believe it is anything other than a kidnapping/rape situation. He is hellbent on destroying all Targaryens, which is somewhat interesting, considering his grandmother was a Targaryen.

Robert Baratheon lives his life as an Idmonster. He fathers many bastard children, drinks constantly, eats almost as much, and sleeps with as many women as he can manage. He hits his wife, berates everyone around him, neglects his children, and runs the kingdom into debt. He is nothing but a machine of self-destruction. His fury drives him and it is the only thing that drives him.

It also causes the major rift between him and his two younger brothers. Stannis tries his best to be honorable and sensible, but deep down, he is driven by cold fury. He chafes at Robert's mockery, at how much his brother neglected and ignored him. His sense of justice tells him certain things are owed to him, but Robert denied him constantly. Robert basically liked everyone in the world more than he liked Stannis and Stannis can't forget that, even for a minute.

It's interesting that the person who tries the most to live up to the Baratheon house words is Joffery. Joffery, who isn't truly a Baratheon at all, as he is the product of incest between his mother and her twin, struts around King's Landing trying to be the same kind of badass that he believes Robert was, that he feels all Baratheon men should be. He lives for his fury. He beheaded Eddard Stark because he felt Ned betrayed his father and should die for it. He wants to destroy everyone rebelling against the crown because that is what any strong Baratheon man would do. It's a truly interesting bit of literary irony that Joff will do something and think "I am SUCH a great Baratheon, OURS IS THE FURY" when the reader looks at him as 'that crazy spoiled incesty Lannister psycho brat!"

In the War of Five Kings, it is interesting that three of these kings have the Baratheon last name. Their fury drives the current events, and even after two of them fall, the third one continues to fight, doing whatever he can to take back what he truly believes to be his.

House words can do many things. They can proclaim the greatness of a family. They boast of the resources in the area. They can speak of a long and powerful heritage. They can serve as a warning to other families. However, I think the best house words, the most potent house words, serve as a warning to not only others, but also to the family itself. Winter is coming, so be careful what you do. Growing strong, so be bold in spreading our power. As high as honor, but also as dangerous when you fall. Ours is the fury, and the fury can do a lot of damage when it goes unchecked.

Game of Thrones 30 Day Challenge: Day 2

Challenge for Day 2: Favorite House

HOUSE TARGARYEN

A lot of people tend to hate the Targaryens. They see them simply as crazy incestuous bullying conquerors. All of that is true, by the way. Insanity tends to run in the family. They did intermarry quite often. They weren't originally from the Seven Kingdoms. The family showed up some 400 years ago and conquered everyone 100 years after that. They conquered everyone using dragons. I suppose that could be seen as bullying.

The truth is, when the Targaryens were still in Valyria, they weren't all that important, just one of 40 or so noble houses of dragonlords. But that all changed when Daenys the Dreamer began to have visions. Daenys, daughter of Aenar Targaryen, was gifted with foresight. She wrote down her visions in a book called Signs and Portents. When she told her father that Valyria would fall, he uprooted the whole family and moved to the Isle of Dragonstone in Westoros.  Twelve years later, Valyria was destroyed.

Of course, Daenys didn't just have visions about the end of Valyria. She also knew her family would produce the Prince who was Promised, the one who could save the world from darkness. The conquering of the Seven Kingdoms was more about positioning themselves to save the world than it was just to conquer things. Actually, who am I kidding? They wanted to rule the place.

Still, the Targs, to be a family we only have roughly 400 years of history about, are a fascinating bunch. They're obsessed with fire. A lot of them have visions. Several of them have had magic. They have interesting coloring. And, of course, they're so crazy and irresponsible, they lost their dragons AND their throne.

I don't know if Tyrion is half-Targ (though I hope he is). I don't know if Jon is Rhaegar's son (though I hope he is). I don't know that Dany will ever show up and save the planet or if she'll even make it back with all three dragons (though I hope she does). What I do know is that even out of power, the Targaryen dynasty shapes the current events. The shadows of the dragonlords and the promise of what it could mean if they come again is always in the background. Call them what you will, but the Targaryens are an important part of this story, as important as the Starks.

In fact, I personally believe the ties between the two families are what shapes all of this anyway, but that's an essay for another day.

Game of Thrones 30 Day Challenge: Day 1

I've been going through a lot of sickness and headaches and need a break from really THINKING about stuff. To that end, I'm going to do the Game of Thrones 30 Day Challenge. If this isn't of interest to you, I understand why you might want to skip my posts. Though, I promise you, even if you've not read the books, you'll still get your usual ME stuff from me. <3

DAY ONE: YOUR FAVORITE CHARACTER

BRANDON STARK

In all the clamor of Tyrion, Dany, Jon, and the others, I think people forget how important Bran Stark is to the story. Maybe it's because he's so young. Perhaps it's because his chapters don't contain a lot of action. Maybe it's because he can be, at times, difficult to deal with as a POV character. He is crippled, after all. He still has a lot of resentment about that. He is hurt over the death of his father and the loss of his home. He doesn't even know yet about the other losses his family has suffered. He just knows he has to do what he can to change all of it.

I love Bran because Bran represents the true aspect of high fantasy in the series. He is on a mysterious quest full of magic and mystery. He trades stories of history, lore, and legend with his companions, stories that serve to shed light on the rest of what is happening. Bran also has one of the more touching love stories, as his feelings for Meera grow and he has no idea if there is even a possibility that she could feel the same way or if it would even be possible for them to marry.

When Bran finally makes it to Bloodraven, we have our first inbook meeting of Targaryen and Stark. It's interesting that these two are the first to meet, considering it is connections between these two houses that define everything that happened before the story and will probably define how it all ends. A lot of people find Bloodraven to be sinister and question his motives, but I believe they always have. I think Bran is where he needs to be, though perhaps the level of sacrifice he will have to make to take power is going to cost him things he didn't want to lose.

Bran isn't innocent. He makes mistakes. He can be selfish and sometimes bratty. But despite everything, he is a boy who can no longer walk, yet has managed to make it through an snow-covered stretch of miles, brave wights, starvation, and hopelessness, to make it to a place of legend. It seems to me that, like his namesakes before him, he will help to end the Long Night.

Scolding the Beautiful

Project Runway started on Thursday and it is its usual train wreck of crazy people, egos, and questionable fashion choices. Most of that goes without all that much note. One thing stood out to me and has been gnawing on my nerves since the show aired. At one point, one of the contestants, a lovely girl who is a former model, mentioned that she thought she would win the challenge. One of the men, also a former model, though much older and less in shape than her, went on the aggressive and chewed her out for being so cocky. While the moment was clearly awkward for everyone involved, no one said anything to him about it.

Lately I've seen a lot of this behavior. People (usually, though not always, men) will verbally assault attractive women with a lot of sudden and uncalled for aggression. It usually starts out that the woman will express an opinion. The other person will be offended by the opinion, even when it wasn't connected to them in any direct way. They will then lash out at the woman as if she just took their first born child, threw it on  the ground, and stomped on its head until it died.

This happened to a friend of mine a few months ago. She happened to mention, casually, a fact about her life. Someone on Facebook took offense to this fact and began to berate her about it. He typed several scolding replies, one after the other, onto her original post, and then proceeded to make a large statement on his own Facebook wall about how ridiculous it was that she felt this way.

Keep in mind, she wasn't stating a political opinion. She wasn't talking about someone else or what they had done to her. She was making a statement about something in her life and how she felt about it. It was the equivalent to saying, "Wow, I really love to eat pancakes in the morning." Imagine if you posted that and someone began to bitch at you about it. "NO YOU DO NOT LIKE PANCAKES! HOW CAN YOU BELIEVE THAT YOU DO?"

I don't get it. What are these people trying to prove? Is this some kind of long game PUA thing where they try and make all the pretty girls feel bad ahead of time? Is it some kind of ploy to get the pretty girl's attention without looking like you want it? Were the pretty girls mean to you in high school and now you feel the need to project that pain and suffering on anyone who reminds you of them? Do you think if you put that pretty girl 'in her place' she'll see you as some kind of alpha and like you? There is a remote chance, if her self esteem is low enough, she just might. Everyone else is going to see you as an asshole . . . because you're being an asshole.

Look, I understand that sometimes people need to be called out for what they say. That's most effective when the scolding is warranted and makes sense in the context of the conversation. It also helps if you keep your emotional intensity on a level equal to the situation. Otherwise, you just look like a crazy person.

Weird and Wonderful Weather Shifts

I probably had other things to blog about tonight, but none of that can even be remembered because while it was supposed to get really hot today, for some wonderful reason, it decided to get cooler! YAY!!!! I don't think I've ever been this happy in July.Ever! It's cool and I'm not having to dread going to bed and trying to sleep in swampy temps.

It's seriously just great right now. I wish it could stay this way for the rest of the summer. It would be so drastically nice to have a summer where the cats weren't miserable and we weren't miserable. It would be nice to have a summer where going outside didn't sound like a punishment and traveling didn't sound like a huge risk. It would be nice to sleep through the night! And I get to sleep through the night tonight! YAY!!!

Anyway, I don't have great focus tonight, so I'm gonna go sleep for a while. YAY!!!

Knot Progress

I found a good set of You Tube videos over making decorative knots. I've been practicing them and shave at least a percentage point or so off of my level of sucking every time I do one. Given a couple of more months of practice, they may actually look like proper knots.

It's difficult to explain how unbelievably happy this makes me. I've always loved complex knots. The idea that I can learn to make them is very empowering. I spend my alone time dreaming about projects I want to do, gifts I want to give. I love the possibilities of it the same way I love the possibilities of the flute playing. It's nice to be producing new things. It's even better to be producing beautiful things.

Well, things that WILL be beautiful. Right now the music is still pretty godawful and every time I proudly display a knot to my roommate, his question is, "So . . . what is it supposed to be?" Gauge is always a problem for me. It took me years to learn gauge with knitting and it looks like it's going to take a while to make it happen with knots. I'll get it though . . .after a while.

The Dizzying Highs

A while back, a friend mentioned that someone had told him that the 40's are wonderful, because you have more common sense than you used to but still retain the energy to do something with this new wisdom. Everything past that is downhill. As I am approaching 40, I find the advice to be sound, even though I'm not sure about the energy levels. Granted, now that I'm losing weight, I have more energy than I used to, but I still have moments when things get sketchy.

Now that I'm older, I experience more intense sensations of blood loss during really bad moments of my period. When these happen, I have this strange sinking feeling, like the world is falling out from underneath me. Usually if I get some food into my system or rest for a bit, it's better. There have been a couple of times when it got really bad. One time I lost my balance and fell into the door.

This time of year is difficult on me because some of my meds cause heat sensitivity. When I get hot, I begin to feel the nausea and dizziness creeping in. Sometimes, even lowering my temp a point or two will make all the difference in  the world. I go from feeling like the world is sending shock waves into me to feeling like a human again. The heat isn't the only problem here either. I live in a very humid area and said humidity can do horrible things to people.

We turned the AC on tonight for like two hours because, while it wasn't technically that hot outside, the humidity was killing us both. I didn't even realize how bad it was until I walked across the room to close the curtains and felt a wave of nausea slam into my gut. It was horrible. I'm still not sure how I closed those curtains and then made it back to the chair without vomiting.

I keep reminding myself that each day that passes is one less day of summer. Soon it will be August and past that, we'll be headed towards the less evil seasons. Winter can be difficult around here, but at least my meds aren't making it worse with sickness. That's helpful.

Knot So Great

As I don't want to just confine my knitting to less hot times of the year, I've started experimenting with knitted jewelry. There are many advantages to this for me. For one thing, because the projects are smaller and don't require large portions of knitted yarn to be covering me, I'm not getting hot while I work on it.  Because I'm fat, it's difficult to find jewelry that fits me, so making my own is actually about the best way for me to go.

Of course, I got ambitious and decided to do a Celtic knot necklace. I love Celtic knots AND the pattern was free. I basically required only a knitted icord and then the making of the knot itself. Icord is easy. Three stitches that basically anyone can do. I was very hopeful about the project while I was working on that part. For some reason, I kind of blocked the knot part out of my mind . . . which was fairly silly, as it was the part that attracted me to the project in the first place.

It wasn't until last night that I finally decided to try and do a practice run on the knot. I started it . . . I did some twists and thread throughs . . . and yarn basically fell away in my fingers. It just was not happening. I tried it again. And again. I looked up some terms. Nothing. I gave up due to tiredness and despair, vowing to tackle it again today.

With my roommate watching, I finally managed to do the knot this afternoon. It took several more tries and me looking at instructions one piece at a time over and over again. When it finally came together, I think every generation of my Celtic ancestors sang. At least, that's the way it felt to me.

I practiced it some more and tried it on my icord. I'm not sure that I completely like the size and may try a more complex knot tomorrow. My guess is that I'll either master this knot as well or end up tying my fingers together. Of course, if I do that, I'll have no more need of bracelets.

Word Possibilities

I've been thinking about the language a lot and how it can be quite limiting. There are some emotions that take a lot of wording to express but really should have their own terms.

There should be a word for the level of relief you feel when you walk out of Walmart and see seven or eight people walking towards the place with screaming/crying children. Let's face it, Walmart is dark and full of terrors, but as bad as it is, it's always a million times worse when you have to deal with someone else's screamy brats.

Okay, imagine you're walking out of Walmart and know you don't have to come back for  a few days. Relief, right? Now, imagine that as you're feeling that relief, you see all these loud, crying children walking towards the place you just left. You realize you do NOT have to deal with them. It takes relief to a whole new level doesn't it? THAT should have its own word.

I've been a renter most of my adult life and I truly believe there should be a word for that moment when you know beyond a shadow of a doubt that you have had ENOUGH of your rent house and will be moving out, no matter what. Even if you have no place to go, even if you're broke, even if you'll be breaking a lease in  the process, you know, perhaps more than you know anything, that you can no longer live in this place. Trust me, this emotion exists.

It's an interesting emotion. There is a certain disgust inside you, almost to the point of being a revulsion, to the point that you physically don't want to even be inside that apartment/house/trailer any longer than it takes just to pack all of your stuff. In fact, in some cases this emotion is so strong that you don't even care if you pack your things. You just want to go. It's possible that this emotion is as close to a pure hatred as anyone can feel.

These aren't the only situations that need names, but I think it's a good start. I'll keep logging them as I come across them. If you have any suggestions of your own, drop me a line.

Zimmerman Verdict

Zimmerman was found not guilty. It's one of those verdicts that was bound to cause emotions to run high in our country, no matter how it ended. Everyone is writing about it and tweeting about it . . . even me, of course. I didn't plan on it, but some of the comments I've seen tonight have been just horrible. One person said something about how upset Obama would be because the trial showed him how much we all hate him. Okay, what the hell? Another person wrote that Paula Deen should see this as a victory. Again .  . . what the hell?

In the wake of this tragedy, I think there are a lot of things that need to be addressed. Why is it okay for neighborhood watch people to be carrying guns? That is giving them a bit more power than I'm really comfortable with. You can't justify self defense here. There are other, less lethal things you can carry for self defense. And whatever happened to the rule of 'do not engage, just report?" No one should be allowed to take the law into their own hands like this. There are just too many things that can go wrong.

I would say I hope my country heals from this and finds a stronger unification, but I'm just not sure that can happen anymore. It seems like people want to emphasize our differences over and over again, siding with the people who look and act like we do and ignoring or suspecting the Others. At this point, I'm not even sure it can get better.

Consults and Meds

My therapist wanted to talk to my doctor about my panic attacks and anxiety issues. I agreed to let this happen and signed some paperwork. When I went to see my doctor, I told her about it and a consultation between the two of them was set up. They discussed me and my meds were adjusted as a result. I didn't get NEW meds. I now have a altered dosage on the meds I already take. It wasn't the solution I was expecting, but then again, I didn't know what to expect.

It's strange to know that people discussed your mental/emotional condition. Actually, I have a feeling this has been discussed in detail before by other people, but probably mostly just family members and friends. Knowing that two medical professionals discussed your situation is an odd thing to know. I probably shouldn't think too much about it.

That's how I try to handle most medical interactions. I do my best to divorce my ego from the event. I try to view myself as they view me. I'm a patient. They only see me as a patient. They're not judging me as the person I am. They are just making assessments on how to treat my issues.

As cold and clinical as that sounds, as impersonal as it sounds, it actually makes it easier for me. In the same way that I enjoy the slight mask of sunglasses, I love the mask that being a patient affords me. I'm not my individual self. I'm just the holder of the issue. All I have to do is go through the motions and have the issue treated.

This doesn't always work, of course. There have been moments when I let loose my fury on doctors who were being jackasses. There was one time when one was so horrible to me that I just spent the whole ride home weeping. I still want to kick that one.

For the most part though, letting go of ego helps a whole lot when the medical stuff happens. It keeps me less crazy and anxious about the process. And just think, now I have more meds to help with that as well!

Randomings

Today was hot and felt like it lasted forever. Part of that may be due to the fact that when we got home from Fort Smith, I took a long nap and actually slept deep enough to dream. I'm not sure I'm even really doing that much at night due to the heat levels. Have I mentioned I hate summer? I hate summer.

Oh, and I had to go back and edit "Smith" in that last paragraph, because I totally wrote Fort Sith. Now I will forever make up jokes in my head about that. "I don't like to go to Fort Sith. I only go when Forced to." Okay, lame jokes. But I'm usually amused by my own lame jokes.

We've not been watching Big Brother, but that doesn't mean I'm not keeping track of what is happening. The girl who is turning out to be the heroine of the season was saved from eviction again, much to the dismay of the evil people. Normally I don't call the people on game shows evil, but these showtestants are evil. They really should just be taken out of the show.

CBS's bake off show ended and while I liked the show, I wasn't happy with who they chose as the winner. The guy who won broke a lot of rules and didn't seem to be all that great with what he did. The other two finalists won more contests over all than he did and tended to do better in most of the challenges. 

My roommate believes he won because they felt he was more marketable. He's probably right about this, but I must say that if that is true, it pisses me off. The winner of the contest should be the person who did the best, not the person you think can sell the most stuff later on. If that's the case, it should be called "most marketable baker." As it stands, I think they were wrong to gamble on him, as the other two finalists were far more personable than he was . . . and better bakers.   

Anyway, I'm off to bed. I need some sleep after my trip to Fort Sith  . . . and lack of sleep leads to the Dark Side.

In Case You Didn't Realize . . .

Lately, I've been reading a lot of stuff in comments and articles and FB posts about the 'failings' of Feminism. I'm not talking about the fact that women are still having to fight for control over their own bodies and don't get equal pay. No, no, none of this stuff has anything to do with women at all.

Nope! This is stuff about men. "Feminists work so hard to try to get money for breast cancer research but they're not doing anything to help prostate cancer!" "Feminists aren't addressing male rape in prison." "Why aren't Feminists addressing the issues of equal consideration in custody cases?" "Why aren't the Feminists spending more time educating men and boys about how they should act around women now because it seems like there aren't as many women interested in getting married."

Stop it.

Right now, feminists are busy trying to take care of stuff for women. There is a whole realm of stuff where women are concerned that is still huge and problematic and difficult. Those issues need to be addressed, handled, rallied about, written over, fought for, and thought about. This is what we're focused on.

Also, maybe some people just don't get this, but one of the reasons why Feminism exists is because women were tired of having to be the ones to take care of everything. They didn't want to be the plucky little helpers anymore. They didn't want to make everyone's beds, listen to everyone's problems, and make life just a tad bit sunnier for the rest of you.

So please, when you see a group of women raising money for breast cancer research, do not wonder why they're not doing it for men instead and certainly don't resent them for it. If you read an article about how we shouldn't talk to little girls about their looks, don't automatically respond with something that begins "but what about the boys?" Don't get angry when they don't help you with stuff or when they don't smile when you thought they should. Just focus on what YOU can do to make things better. You.

Happiness Revisited

When I was a kid, there was a mimosa tree in our front yard.   From age three until five or so, this tree was one of my favorite places in the world. It was the stage of many games of pretend, the foundation of many castles, and a safe haven as my life began to get bad. I loved that tree. 

It wasn't very tall, but it had a good level of age on it. The way the branches spread out from the base made it a perfect place for me to sit. I would love to say I climbed the tree, but the truth is, I didn't. I climbed the rock fence in front of the tree, stood on top of the fence, and basically just pulled myself up into the tree. I would sometimes venture onto one of the limbs, but usually I didn't. I was content to just sit on the trunk and play my little games.

You know, it seems a lot of time in our society, we push towards finding pleasure and happiness as a reward for accomplishing something. "I won the race, so I can be happy now." "I got the good job, so I can be happy now." It's like we feel that we can only find pleasure at the END of something, and only then if it was something we worked on and not only achieved, but achieved better than others. This is a fairly twisted way to view happiness.

I won't say I'm horrible at playing my flute, but I'm certainly not good at it either. Yet, when I play, I have a great deal of happiness in the process. I love making the music and learning new songs. As I've mentioned before, I'm not the best knitter in the world, in fact quite often I'm baffled by the process. And yet, I find a great deal of pleasure in knitting. I love what I create, even if most of it looks awkward and kinda bad.

As kids, before we get brainwashed with all the society crap, we intuitively understand that happiness doesn't happen as a reward for vast accomplishments.  Happiness just happens because we allow ourselves to be IN THE MOMENT of the happiness. I didn't get to enjoy the tree because I was a super climber who reached some amazing height. I enjoyed the tree because trees are awesome, no matter how lame of a climber I was.

You know, I usually don't engage or challenge my readers, but I am going to on this occasion. I challenge you to allow yourself to be happy, just because happiness is there in abundance to be had. Savor an ice cream. Pet some fuzzy animal. Think about your favorite story. Look at something beautiful. Recall a great memory from your childhood. Just . . . be happy. Let yourself. Don't limit your own happiness by placing conditions on it. That isn't really the way happiness works and it's really not fair to you.

Black Haired Barbie vs. Monday

The villain known as Monday sat in his vast castle, cackling his evil cackles as he watched our heroine Black Haired Barbie as she slept. Monday had many rivals, but he felt a certain hatred towards BHB, due to her expert snark, unusual good looks, and general state of awesomeness. It was the plan of Monday to do anything within his power to defeat her.

"Look at her sleep," said Monday in his shrill and jealous voice. "Just look at her. I'm going to do everything I can to ruin her day. Bwahahahahah.....hah!" And then he paused for dramatic effect, waiting a whole 18 seconds before adding one last "hah!"

Monday knew he couldn't sabotage BHB the way he did other people. "After all, that lazy chick doesn't work! I can't just bombard her with paperwork or annoying coworkers. No, I need to do other things. OTHER things. What DOES she do on Mondays? Anything?" He looked through her dayplanner . . . probably something he got from NSA . . . and realized she drove her roommate to Walmart on most Mondays.

Monday did a little victory dance, which for Monday looks something like a cross between twerking and being electrocuted. "I will begin my attacks with bombardments from my new ally, Senile Old Man Cat!"

Senile Old Man Cat slipped into BHB's bedroom and began to deposit stinking piles of cat poo on her floor. Now, it is well known that BHB keeps a clean litter box for her animal friends, but for some reason, Senile Old Cat has decided that he  isn't going to use that and believes that bedrooms, behind chairs, or any pathway where people may be walking in the middle of the night is the places where he is supposed to do his nasty business.

BHB woke, as she usually did, disoriented and in need of the bathroom. As she looked out over her floor, she realized that Monday had launched his first attack using Senile Old Man Cat as a weapon. She sighed and cursed a little, but it didn't deter her.

"Oh come on," BHB said to Monday, for she knew he was listening. "Don't you think I'm used to this by now? I keep a supply of things in my room designed to deal with the cat poo attacks." And within seconds, the mess was cleaned and she went on with her day.

From his vantage point, Monday howled at her resourcefulness. "Curse that woman! How dare she foil me like that. Ahh, but then again, tis only a battle. Not the war. After all, she is going to be taking herSELF to my next ally in darkness. The Great Walmart Parking Lot! Bwahahahahaha. HAH!"

And indeed, BHB and her roommate did have to travel to the Walmart. They did not wish to, but were out of key items. As she let him off at the door, she wished him luck, knowing he would face his own enemies inside. . . the Horde of Stupidity, the Carts of Disfunction, the Madness of Disorganization, and children. While he braved these foes, she would have to battle the enemies on the outside.

Oddly, one of her usual foes, the Creature of Overcrowding, was no where to be seen. She supposed it was too hot for it to unleash most of its weapons. She did find herself facing one of the more annoying monsters, the Inconsiderate Cart People. One of the Inconsiderates happened to be stopping carts in the parking place that she planned on taking. Said parking place was probably still empty because the cart was there, which, in a way, was an advantage to her. BHB pulled into the spot, careful to not hit the cart. She then left the car (a rare thing for her) and moved the cart out of her way. She smiled because she knew Monday was in anguish over her use of, well, not being as lazy as she usually was.

Monday was angry, and again did some howling, because Monday usually just howls, makes speeches, or laughs evilly. He's kind of limited that way. He paced back and forth as BHB defeated the other parking lot monsters. The Driving the Wrong Way Creature. The Stopping for No Damned Reason Monster. The 'I never Look before I walk across the street because mama said I was special and no one would ever run over me' horde. The children.

But then Monday realized he had one more trick up his sleeve. As she and the roommate returned home from Walmart, he smiled manically as he realized one last monster, a secret monster, lurked in the back of the van. This monster was new, recently born from the greed to save pennies and the lack of understanding the consequences of that.

"Those bags," Monday purred. "Those bags are thinner now. Thinner than they have ever been. And . . . and . . . I bet, if I just . . ." And with a little flick of Monday's hand, the Thin Bag Monster stretched itself just a little thinner in the sack that contained BHB's glass jar of pickles.

Of course, BHB didn't realize this as she hooked the bags together on her handles. To keep the van cooler, she and the roommate had started parking it under the shade tree, which meant a longer walk back to the house. Last year when this new plan was proposed to BHB, she wasn't happy about it, as it disrupted her policy on walking and laziness. However, she'd lost some weight since then, so it wasn't as horrible as she'd assumed it would be. Though, today, as she carried the Thin Bag Monster that held her glass jar, she was in danger of proving herself wrong.

She began to walk back to the house, already hating being out in the heat. As she stepped onto the driveway, and as Monday leaned in close to get a good look at the damage, she heard something fall from one of the bags and crash onto the pavement.

The thing is, even though BHB is, at best, a rather lackadaisical and tricksy heroine, she is also, on occasion, the possessor of some amazing levels of luck. And on this day, despite Monday doing all he could to destroy her, that luck kicked in. Because laying on the pavement was NOT shards of glass and sad looking pickles. No, instead, it was one lone can of beans, more or less unharmed, the only companion to the jar of pickles.

As Monday howled (again) in rage, BHB picked up the can and cradles the bag back into the house. When she opened it and saw the pickles, she was consumed with total gratitude over the fact that it was the can that fell out of the hole in the thin bag and not the glass jar. Monday didn't win, and knew he could never try that trick again, because BHB and her roommate made plans on how to deal with the Thin Bag Monster so it could never harm them again.

Defeated, Monday retreated back into his castle, brooding over the day's missteps. "Black Haired Barbie won! And I'm not even sure HOW she won. I should have won! I tried so hard." For a moment, Monday considered giving up and just letting BHB go on about her life. But then he remembered there were still millions of ways he could mess with her and he cackled again.

"Until next week, you clever girl," he whispered. "Until next week....."

Weird Weekend

This weekend was odd. I don't think anyone in my house, human or cat, felt all that well. There was a lot of smoke and haze from the 4th, tons of junk in  the air. On top of that, the lawn was mowed. I sneezed for quite a while afterward. The cats all languished around and my roommate felt under the weather. We basically existed this weekend, grateful for no drama and no where to go.

Sleep has been difficult. Even when I do manage to sleep, I'm waking up feeling tired and strange. There is always a period of about five minutes when I'm really disoriented and my eyes won't focus. A lot of the eye stuff is due to all the debris in the air. It's also starting to get hot again and I'm less than happy about that. Of course, it's July now, so I can't expect my happy weather to last forever. It's been nice though.

That's over now. We're in the upper 90s for the rest of the week. I doubt my sleep will get better and that really sucks.

Avocado Heaven

Today, I made guacamole for the first time. It's not that difficult to make, of course, but it's just not something I ever got around to learning. I'm glad I did. It turned out quite well. And I would like to thank Mother Internet for all of her suggestions.

I don't know if you've ever actually used the internet as a source for recipes. In my case, this happens a lot (when I actually decide to make something), as I wasn't taught to cook by anyone and it's easier than pulling out one of the cook books. Besides, the cook book would only have one version of the recipe. With the internet, you get a variety. That helps a lot.

Take the guacamole experiment, for example. I started looking up recipes and reading them over. I discussed my findings with my roommate as I was going through them. I discounted anything that added more fats than the avocado because that seemed redundant. I saw no need for mayo or sour cream or anything like that. Well, full disclosure, at first I thought sour cream might be needed, but the more I considered it, that seemed pointless.

My roommate suggested I refine my search to ones that used canned tomatoes. He reminded me that we're not really getting a lot of tomatoes with potent taste right now, so we'd be better off and more likely to get an intense tasting tomato from one that had been canned. I saw the logic in this and altered my search.

I settled on RoTel's recipe and altered it just slightly to suit my tastes. We didn't put in as much cilantro, because I'm not all that big of a fan. We also opted for the lime juice you get in the bottle instead of a fresh lime. America's Test Kitchen taste tested this and found that for most purposes, the bottled lime juice does just as well. We already had it in the house, so it made the whole process easier.

I'm happy with the results. I ate some with chips earlier, and then some on a turkey sandwich later in the evening. I'm in the process of losing weight, so of course guacamole isn't something I can keep around all the time, but it was nice to have it as a weekend distraction. Plus, I know how to make it now. A new, tasty skill. Awesome.

The Flickery Flipside

Okay, I may complain about the fireworks for days and days around this time of year, but there is another side to that. I get annoyed by the noise of them, but I love the lights. In fact, I'm enchanted by the lights. They more than make up for the rest of the fireworks issues.

Like the sidelined and orphaned children that we are, my roommate and I sat on our porch tonight and watched the city's fireworks display. Each BOOM rewarded us with giant poofs of color and flicker, as the sky lit up like some giant afro, switching from one color to the next, to finally just wisps of light. Over and over, we got to watch as beauty danced and exploded into the sky. It made me truly happy.

This small bit of watching the lights is the tradition I share with my roommate during the 4th. We don't do much,but we do shade these moments of delight as the sky changes for us. It means a lot to me that we share this. It's how I feel about all of our little, odd traditions.

Boom my Bippy!

Perspective is everything, man. I'm sure the people who live in all the houses around me who keep shooting off fireworks at all hours of the day and night see it as a great time and can't imagine why anyone would possibly want to grind them into paste over it. I, on the other hand, somewhat want to grind them into paste and then never allow them to see anything sparkle or hear anything go boom again.

The fireworks constantly disrupt our conversations. They break our peace of mind. They scare the cats and the dogs who live in the neighborhood. After a while, everything starts to stink like fireworks and once too many have been set off in a row, there is a layer of smoke that chokes me. As far as I am concerned, these people are evil.

Of course, as far as they are concerned, they're not evil. They're just having a good time and being patriotic. This is Merca and it's what we do to celebrate that fact. We make things go BOOM over and over and over and over and over again. Anyone who doesn't feel that way is joyless and probably evil.

And do I see MYSELF as evil? Um......not completely. I certainly don't see myself as joyless. I just see myself as someone who doesn't like to listen to, see, or smell fireworks for days on end.

Crassness

A new season of Big Brother has started, and already I'm wondering if I'll bother to watch.  Even though the show's twist is one I like and they didn't pull anything really stupid, the live feeds of the cast are filtering out into the general public and it seems that a lot of these people are horrible. In fact, this cast has been called the most racist, misogynist, and homophobic yet. I honestly really see no reason why I should support something that is going to promote that kind of thing.

In another installment of "Just Because You CAN do Something, Doesn't Mean You Should," we will talk, once again, about opening our mouths and letting words come out. In America, we live in a country where we have been told all of our lives that we have freedom of speech. And we do and that's awesome! However, as I've written about before, freedom of speech means you can say most stuff without fear of the government showing up and locking you up in prison . . . usually.

What we don't teach children, and should teach them, is that this is ALL freedom of speech means. We have the right to say what we want . . . but that doesn't mean there will be absolutely no consequences. In fact, when we say stuff, there is always consequence. It may not come back to bite us in the ass, but it will be biting someone. This is something we should always keep in mind.

I was talking to a friend earlier and we were discussing the dentist. She mentioned she may have a couple of cavities and I commented that I had no idea what might be lurking in my mouth. Her reply was classic. "Sass," she said.  I laughed, because of course it's true. My mouth and brain contain a lot of sass and I can do hurricane levels of damage with it.

However, over the years, and trust me, it has taken years for me to learn this, I've become aware that my verbal abilities aren't always welcome, needed, or helpful. People don't always like to hear my snark and sometimes it's just not called for. Does this mean I spend my life singing Tori Amos's "Silent All These Years" in my head? No, I still speak my mind when it's needed and I still keep people rather entertained by my strange comments. I just have a better understanding of where and when to do this.

People will lament that editing yourself if falling victim to being 'politically correct,' which they believe to be some liberal bogey man come to steal all our words. Except, it's not a new concept. If you read any publication about manners or how to behave as a 'lady' or a 'gentleman,' you will find the rules of speech are very much the same. A gentleman would never say things to offend people or make them feel uncomfortable. A lady would never say things that would cause her to look ignorant or crass.

And while you may be ignorant or crass or vulgar at home or in your thoughts, and while you can say whatever you want because freedom of speech, do you honestly think this means you can say horrible things in public and there be no consequences? If you do, I suggest you look at actual reality and get past that. It's not true for anyone else and it certainly won't be true for you.

So . . . if you go on a television show, say, like, Big Brother, where you know people will be watching you 24/7, it's probably a good idea to formulate some kind of rules for your conduct. And yes, I mean you, and only you, should do this. As adults, we are capable of setting limitations for ourselves, for setting rules for ourselves, and, most importantly, for setting standards. After all, when this time on television is finished, you will have to go back out into the real world and however you acted on this show is going to be known to millions of people. How you acted and certainly what you said will have consequences.  I have a feeling some of these contestants are going to be quite shocked by this, even though they shouldn't be.