Plans for the Week

We were already going to have to do First of the Month stuff on Wednesday, but now I have other tasks to deal with this week as well. The radio in my car stopped working. The lights are working on the inside, but it won't come on or show my clock. I'm guessing it's a fuse issue, but who knows? I need the oil changed anyway so I'll try to get both things accomplished.

I still don't have the Disappointment Shelf out of the house, which means nothing was handled in that part of the room. I did some organizing in the utility room, but that was about it. 

Halloween was nice. I saw my best friend and her family. I painted her kid's face. We talked about horror movies and watched some stuff. We didn't stay as long as we would have liked, but going places is still difficult. I'm not sure when that will be normal again. 

The Fabulous Cat Bed

I live in a house that is 100+ years old. It needs a lot of work done. Honestly, it needs ALL the work done. One of the main issues with it is that our floors are really close. In most rooms, whatever top flooring is right directly on baseboards. The lot is slanted and some of those rooms are really close to the freezing ground. It would be beneficial if those rooms were south-facing, but of course, they're not. My roommate's bedroom is on that side of the house and during the winter, his floors are really cold.

To combat this, he's experimented with various combinations of rugs, blankets, and pillows to keep his feet warm when he's at his computer desk. Before you suggest houseshoes and socks, trust me; he already has those on. The cold seeps through socks and shoes.

A while back he bought this really thick funfur black rug, hoping the depth of it would keep his feet warm. It didn't work as well as he wanted it to. 

The rug IS useful though. Milliecat has adopted it as her glamour bed. The rug is now draped into a basket and Millie lounges and poses in there like it's her job. She looks fabulous and seems to believe she is. 

I'm glad she is finding joy in it. I think it's keeping her warm as well. Oh. And I would take a picture, but Millie is very UNphotogenic so it wouldn't do the reality justice.

Reversals

Things are somewhat better today. I have a doctor's appointment and interestingly enough, the right amount of pills to ride out until then. I'm glad that was handled because it was making me paranoid. Oh. When you're on hold with my doctor's office, they play binaural beats. It was a piece I recognized, actually.

Speaking of binaurals, I'm listening to one now to try and improve my mood. It's been eroding since sundown and I needed to do something about it. It's starting to stay pretty dark most of the day and I need to get aggressive about fighting my SAD.

Disappointment Shelf is still with us, but it should be finding its new home tomorrow. When it's gone, we can start culling that area of the room. Even if we toss away nothing, just getting everything dusted should make a big difference this winter. 

Mixed Bag Day

Right, so....the bad points of today.

I tried to make a doctor's appointment and for some reason, they just kept putting me off. I was supposed to get a call back that never happened. I don't like being tethered to my phone, waiting for a call.

Ol Boy who brought the cable box was a dick. The company that bought our cable company views the insane amount we pay for things to just be worth basic stations and nothing more. Actively looking for alternatives again. 

It was dark and rainy. It will stay dark and rainy tomorrow as well, meaning the piece of furniture I planned to have out of my house tomorrow will still be IN my house tomorrow. 

Good points:

I am officially finished with my Christmas shopping. Given that things might prove chaotic closer to December, I'm happy it's done.

I was able to do a minor organizing thing to the house today and it works well and looks how I wanted it to look.

Everything I read today was excellent. 

So yeah. Wednesday. No one fell down. Yay.

Letting Things Go

My dad wrecked his bike last week. He's almost 70 and made the decision to stop riding/owning a motorcycle. In one way, this was an easy decision for him. In a lot of other ways, it isn't.

Dad downplayed this wreck to me. When I talked to him on Friday, he said he had a little road rash and a cut across his nose. Today he added a battered right side, smashed up shoulder, two black eyes, and 'there was a lot of blood on the ground.' So yeah. Okay. He didn't die and he didn't have to have surgery, but this wreck messed him up. Given that it did, his age, his eyesight, the fact that his bike was totaled, and that things could have been a lot worse, he decided that he wouldn't replace his Harley. This is the end of his riding days. 

And yes, it's a practical decision. I'm happy he made it because when you've grown up around people who ride, you end up knowing a lot of stories about people who died when they crashed their bikes. I don't want to lose my dad that way.

At the same time, today he told me he's really depressed about this decision. And I get that. He's been riding since he was 14. It was his first real taste of freedom and it's always been a very therapeutic experience for him. My dad enjoyed working on his bike as much as he did riding it. He understood it. I will always firmly believe that when we know how to fix the things in our lives ourselves, we're happier people. He's losing that and he knows he's losing it because of age. That's a sucky place to be. 

When you buy a Harley, it's tradition to give you a small bell to hang on it for good luck. Dad's ride bell got smashed in the accident, but he picked it up and took it with them anyway. I told him he should turn it into a necklace so he always has part of the bike with him. I hope he does that. It might help.

Ambitions

I have all these plans for the house. I have like very little energy to complete them. We started on the back area of the living room but between the dust levels, our lack of spoons, and the flu shot, it's stalled. I managed to gather up A box of stuff to sort through.

Understand, we didn't sort through it. It was just gathered. I know that's SOMETHING and it's a step forward, but while I was over there, it just hit me how many steps there are before this happens. It's overwhelming and exhausting. 

Maybe my perspective on it will be better tomorrow.

Friday Ache

I got my flu shot today and while the experience itself was painless, the afterward is not. I'm pretty achy and feel just generally weird. Normally this doesn't last for long, but it's always kinda upsetting.

I managed to still do a small bit of a workout, though only about half of what I normally do. It was something, anyway. And it was not fun. Sleep should help me. At least I hope it does. 

I'm guessing it's going to be a meek weekend. 

A Good Thursday

I have a new exercise band and it's thicker and more difficult than the old one. Okay, the old one was pretty worn out and sad. The new one is strong and kinda evil so far. It hurts my feet. I'm sure we'll make friends after a while.

I read some really good stuff today. One of the many neat things about fanfic is that you can explore not only ideas about the subject matter but also how you do it. One author talked about how they don't really have the mindset to finish longer works, but they love coming up with scenarios for other people to explore. The work I read of theirs contained about 8 different 'what if' type situations and I thought a lot of them were amazing. One of them involved Feanor having seven daughters instead of sons. One involved Miriel's father and grandfather still being alive in Beleriand. She'd had more family at one time, but they've all died at this point. It's from Fingolfin's perspective and when he finds Maglor on the throne, he has these two silver-haired scary men standing by him. I really love this idea. Actually, it's a concept that JRRT toyed with, but never took anywhere. 

Overall, it was a good day for both my brain and my body. 

Disappointment

The storage unit from Wayfair that my cousin bought me last year has finally been unboxed. I'm glad I didn't film this unboxing because I'm rather disappointed with what Wayfair sent. It isn't as well-made or tall as it was presented as being. Not at all. 

It's still workable but I certainly won't purchase anything from there myself. I'm glad this was a gift.

Bad Tropes

This weekend we tried to watch two shows made off of already established movie franchises. We are disinclined to watch either of them again. 

These days, we have a lot of remakes and rehashing of things. There are various reasons for this, but I don't think those reasons matter as much as what is done with them. In both of these cases, all of the characters were well-established tropes who showed little to no potential for interesting growth. While I am certain some level of 'character growth' will be written into both shows, I somehow doubt said growth will follow any kind of path save for the most obvious and typical ones. 

People who start out as enemies learn to work together. Person who is overly ambitious learns to be unselfish. Person who has a lot of reasons to seek justice and revenge finds value in peaceful solutions. 

Look. Just.

Okay. The ONE ADVANTAGE you really have when you're just revamping an already well-known story is that you don't have to work out the story part of the show. People know that bit. They know the general idea. They GET IT. 

With that in mind, the one place where showrunners and writers really CAN improve on the old thing is by making really good characters and putting them through the story. Interesting characters. Dynamic characters. FUN characters. Not just the same group of tired-ass characters that I want to be killed by their third line of dialogue. 

Stop that.

First Cold Night

I wasn't prepared for last night. It was a lot colder than I expected it would be. I left a fan on, mostly for the noise. I soon regretted that. At least I had my summer blanket.

I spent part of the day fixing that problem. My white noise machine is back on the table and the fans are unplugged. I also put away some clothes and we sorted through a few shelves of random stuff. 

My roommate has one of his couch blankets out now and Millie was so excited about it. She came to live with us during the winter and I think she sees the crocheted throws as love and comfort.

Fall Moments

Tink has deigned to return to my shoulder. She can get cantankerous while she's up here, but so far, she's content tonight. So far we've gotten 7 inches of rain and the weather is certainly chilling down. Am I happy about that? Yes.

I had a perfect moment the other day. I woke up from a nap. It was dark outside and raining. My bed was comfortable and I pulled a blanket on me to keep me warm. I just felt blissful. Moments like that are why I love Fall. There is just so much comfort potential.

Not Hurting Enough

Lindsey Graham gave an interview where he talked about people from Brazil coming here with designer bags and clothes. He seemed outraged that someone would show up to seek asylum who wasn't in rags. 

Two things.

First of all, most of the time, the GOP talking heads complain about people coming into the US with nothing and being a drain on our society. They're not a drain, of course, as they take the jobs people in this country don't want. One would think Lindsey would be happy someone was showing up with some funds, or at least the look of it.

Second of all, I'm really sick of this narrative that there has to be a deep and unabiding level of suffering and pain before someone should be helped. It's cruel and quite frankly causes more harm than it helps. People shouldn't have to lose EVERYTHING before someone can help them. People shouldn't have to have a complete mental breakdown before their condition is taken seriously. People shouldn't have to faint from hunger before someone feeds them. 

We shouldn't wait until after there is damage before we help. It's the difference between airing up your tire when you notice it's a little low and driving on it for ten miles before you decide to change it.

Holiday Plans

Last year my nephew and I started a contest to see which of us could buy the weirdest Christmas gift for the other. I gave him a neck pillow that looks just like a giant shrimp. He gave me a coffee cup with a hand in it. The hand was flipping me off. 

And yet, we both agreed my step-mom won, even though she didn't know about the contest. She got my nephew a screaming goat (plastic one, not a real one) and it was amazing.  Despite our best efforts at weird, we just couldn't beat that. 

This year, however, I shall win. As I behold the delightfully strange thing I have gotten my nephew, I know, deep in my bones, victory is mine.  Bwahahah. 

I'm keeping this is secret for now, but I'll certainly post a picture when he receives the gift. 

Tiresome Tuesday

I had a pretty good day until about seven. Then we realized the cable is gone. The cable is gone because they CLAIM they sent a thing saying everyone needed new cable boxes. We never got this message. I doubt anyone did. I do not trust this.

I am so sick of our cable company. They charge us an insane amount for basically nothing. I hate it.

Feels Like Fall

Well. Ish. I still have a fan on, but only one! And I'm not miserable. So today, yeah, today actually felt like Fall. Mostly. 

Saw some yokel's video about how he's completely cool if America collapses because he can take care of himself. How nice for him. I mean, never mind all the other people who will die and have horrible things happen to them. He has some guns and a, I guess a bucket he can relieve himself in or something? I kinda doubt he'd survive any better than the rest of us. A weekend of duck hunting isn't the same as surviving the collapse of your society. 

Would I survive the collapse of society? Nope! I hope I die in whatever chaotic event happens that causes the collapse. I don't want to pee in a bucket.

Steamy Saturday

It was steamy, and not in a good way. It was in the 90s again today and it was awful. I managed to clean my bedroom floor and that was it. 

It was so bad we had to turn on the AC. The AC, in OCTOBER! This really doesn't feel like an October. It feels like a holdover from September and I do not like it. Not at all.

Friday Fall Betrayal

It was in the 90's today. It's supposed to be 95 degrees tomorrow. This is Fall and that is insane. It should be illegal. I should be getting out mah hoodies by now. I should be deciding which of mah hats I'm going to wear as the weather cools down. But no. Fall is betraying us.

You need to get with the program, Ms Fall.

Thursday Blues

It was foggy this morning and I was up early. I never really got my groove back after that. I've been down and twitchy for a few hours now. I'm hoping that sleep improves my mood. 

It's been a year since my Aunt died. My cousins are handling it as best they can. It isn't easy. The youngest is trying to find solace and blessing in the grieving process. The lawyer is managing her business and the oldest girl is trying to encourage mothers to make sure they're in pictures with their kids. Kids need pictures of them. The second born is keeping himself busy as possible and trying to just move forward. The oldest one lost his only daughter this year as well and he's doing his best to just stay sane. 

The grief and pain and chaos continue for most of the world. 

I had an old college roommate comment that I'd not been on FB that often. I mean, I really haven't. It's hard to be chipper when everything is as it is. Retreating and just working on myself has been the better path to sanity, even if I do have days like today. 

At least, on days like today, I know somewhat how to console myself. 

Wednesday Surprises

Trash Day is usually pretty chill and routine for us, but today things went sideways. My roommate's van had not one but TWO messed-up tires. I drove him to the fix-it place and then we waited around for a few hours for things to get handled.

In the midst of this, we paid bills and ran some other errands. For one, the mechanic didn't take forever. Almost no one was there when we dropped off the van. Usually, that place is seriously busy. 

Anyway, the day ended up being far more expensive than anticipated, but it's handled. CSI: Vegas returned tonight for the first time in years. I'm kind of wondering if that's a trend, just a bunch of shows canceled years ago being renewed for nostalgia reasons. 

Quiet Tuesday

I folded the towels today and did little else. Okay, that's not true. I listened to some stuff I needed to listen to and read an article about a project I may be working on in the nearish future. The cat came to visit me for a while, but she didn't stay long.

I'm discussing a book with my nephew. It isn't my favorite book in the world, but as people patiently listen to me and discuss my fandoms with me, I will do so with him. It's rewarding to listen to someone as they talk about what they love.

I'm trying to watch a movie and my brain just isn't letting me. I'll see how far I can get tonight. 

Strange Monday

There was a lot of weirdness today. Facebook was down for a considerable amount of hours, as were its associated apps. This also affected a lot of people's smart TVs and appliances as they go through their FB accounts to access them. I couldn't save on some of my games for the same reason.

In the same way that it disturbs me that we have to fund the government for three months at a time sometimes and have debt so massive it could crash the world, it disturbs me that we've allowed Facebook to worm its way into so many aspects of our lives. It also disturbs me that, like money and the government, it's doubtful anything will be done about it.

I folded clothes today and will probably do towels tomorrow. We've been discussing rearrangement of part of the living room and I may start on a bit of the organizing tomorrow unless that proves to be too annoying for everyone involved. We'll see. The whole thing is in no hurry.

Cracks

A lot of teachers are probably not going back to teaching past this year. A lot of nurses and other medical professionals are walking away from medicine. This is bad. These are some major cracks in the foundation of our society.

People aren't returning to minimum wage jobs. People aren't returning to thankless jobs. People aren't returning to essential worker jobs. This is also bad. 

However.....

While this sucks for everyone else, I think it's fair that people are leaving all of this. For years, people who work in these fields have been overworked, attacked, underpaid, criticized, neglected, and, in some cases, abused. No one should have to work that way. It's insane. 

Things need to change. We need to reframe how we view workers. We need to treat everyone with respect because all jobs are important. The chef making your meal may be brilliant and gifted, but that loses meaning if the table you're served on is dirty, buggy, and covered in someone else's dishes. The person who cleans that table is important too and should be treated as such. 

Does this mean things may get difficult and challenging for a while? Yes. But people deserve dignity and decent payment for the hours of their lives sacrificed to labor. 

Sabotage

Back at the first of September, I set a goal for myself. It was, to the reckoning of most people, a very small goal. Tiny. Teensy. For me, however, it was a starting point to regain something I've mostly lost. To regain this, I knew I needed to start in an itsy-bitsy way. Mostly though, I needed to start. I did preparation for this goal every day of September.

I spent most of today trying to talk myself out of it.

Whenever I would try to go start this new thing, my brain would go on hyper and bombard me with reasons as to why I shouldn't do it NOW. Reason after reason after reason. I spent the majority of the day warring with myself. I didn't accomplish my goal until almost 11 pm. I DID accomplish it, but it was one hell of a mental struggle.

Whatever is wrong with me, whatever is truly wrong with my life is whatever is causing that level of mental sabotage. I shouldn't have to fight myself this hard over something that was so minor most people wouldn't even pay attention to doing it.