And Sat Down Beside Her

I sort of have a new pet. A little jumping spider has decided to lurk on my monitor sometimes. I know it won't harm me and it's really fun to watch. It's obsessed with my cursor. It will turn in the direction of it and dart after it, thinking it's some kind of bug to catch. I was worried that it might starve itself if it just focused on that, but sometimes the spider goes away, so I assume it's hunting other food then.

Anyway, I've enjoyed having the spider's company. If it shows up again tomorrow, I'll name it.

Net and Non-Acceptance

The internet went out. This doesn't surprise me because it's raining. It does, however, annoy me to no end. The fact that it's raining shouldn't be enough to end my internet connection. Not after this many years. They should have their shit together better than this. I have a friend who goes through hurricanes and noreasters and still keep her internet. This is bullshit.

This cable company has been in business here for years. YEARS! YEARS! You'd think that during some of those years, they would have found a way to make the service better. Uggghh.

Love and Acceptance

When I was little, no one exactly told me that love was conditional, but I got the message all the same. My mother and grandmother, the primaries in my life, always placed conditions on it. Always. Having said that, I think that my grandmother did love me no matter what. I'm not sure what made her believe it was needed to make me think she didn't. I guess maybe she thought it would improve me. That really didn't work.

For most of my life, I think this has been the fundamental mistake in how I approached the idea of love and myself. I always felt like there had to be conditions. I had to live up to standards, standards I could never meet. I think it has shut me off from a lot and kept me blind to other things.

This week on RuPaul's Drag Race, they were discussing how one of the contestants hasn't told his mother that he's a drag queen. One of the others said that while he knows it's hard to come out to your parents, you always should. No one should miss the opportunity to know you and love you for who you really are.

This statement misses a lot of the potential problems some people can face when they speak their truths to others, but I think he has a point. If you never show who you truly are to someone else, you never can truly be loved. They may love a version of you. They may love something you crafted or created, but never the actual person. Pretending to be someone else, trying to meet someone else's standards or expectations can be exhausting. It isn't fair to you.

Is there risk in not doing that? Of course. It means that you may never find romantic love. It means you may be rejected by your family. It means you may never have friends. I think, perhaps, that is better than being loved for things you're not.

Mind you, I'm not saying don't bathe and be horrible to everyone. I kind of doubt that is most people's true self. This is more about the people who spend years pretending to be straight or pretending to be religious or pretending to follow a cause just to please someone else. Don't do that. You deserve better than to be loved for what you can fake.

Storms and Acceptance

The storms happened last night. I think I basically dozed/didn't exactly sleep during all of it. Needless to say, I'm tired today. This didn't make me the easiest of people to deal with. I think after a full night of sleep, I'll be better. Hopefully. I get more prickly as the years pass.

I also get more accepting. At least, I get more accepting of myself and my life. I know that many of the things that other people have that I don't are things I was never really equipped to handle anyway. And the things I've gotten in compensation are suited to me. It's good to be at peace with this.

We're expecting more storms through the weekend. Spring in Oklahoma is always fun.

Quick Blip

Just checking in to tell everyone I'm alive. The weather is supposed to get seven shades of narstay tonight so I have no idea if will have internet or even electricity when I usually post. More tomorrow.

GoT Back

Game of Thrones started back last night. The episode was interesting because most scenes either included women or women (in terms of their significance and power) were discussed. I like it that these characters are not passive on the show. Even if one does not like all of them, well, women are not required to be likable, are we?

One thing I find really interesting is the harsh and hostile reactions to the depiction of an elderly naked woman. It's so funny that many of the same people who will defend the violence and overly sexual content of the show are offended and horrified by the display of an old woman's boobs. You like Game of Thrones because of its harsh reality, darling? Let me tell you, old age bodies are a harsh reality that will visit us all.

I suppose they should amend their statement. They want the show to be gritty and edgy, but only in a way that titillates them.

Mercy

My sinus face pain is less awful than it had been but still awful. I'm hoping a few more days will fix it. Like I said yesterday, it's pain I can handle, just not pain I wish to handle. Until all this settles, my options are limited.

The weather is weird tonight. We're supposed to have storms for the next several days and the weather is dark and a little ominous. Once again, I would rather this didn't happen, but we have little choice in the matter.

Seems like this is one of those days when I just felt at the mercy of the cosmos.

Pain in the Saturday

I am officially on my last ball of yarn. The blanket is inches from being finished. Well, inches from having the basic structure finished. Then we have to do all the rest of the stuff. Still, it's nice to know for reasonable certainty that I'll be finished this week.

I'm a little amazed I accomplished even that today because I'm having some painful sinus issues. My left cheek, ear, side of my nose, jaw, and most of my teeth are aching. I spent the day in stabby pain. It wasn't fun. The worst of it happened during dinner. The whole side of my face was in so much pain I could barely eat. It's settled since then. It still hurts, but I can live with it.

One of the great but 'not that I really wish I had it' side effects of cancer is that I now know just how much pain I can endure. Well, I know a certain level of it, anyway. If I can handle more pain than that and live, I really never want to find out about it.

Game of Thrones  Season 6 starts tomorrow. We'll be heading into stuff the books haven't covered. I don't believe this will cause spoilers because the show as veered so far away from the books that it could only possibly spoil one or two things. I'm sure everything will be hyped and complained about. I suppose that's just the nature of television these days.

It's possibly the nature of everything.

More Idiocy for the OKC

As I said before, I think the blog is going to be my main place to growl about politics, especially the crazy bullshit happening in Oklahoma. This week, the morons who run the state decided to put the Ten Commandments back up and to take the licence away from any doctor who performs an abortion. Mind you, one of these is a Constitutional issue. The other has already been decided by the Supreme Court of the nation. In both cases, a lot of money will probably be sent to remind Oklahoma that this is the USA and not Crazy Christianland.

As I am getting articles about this, I also see where DHS is going to have to cut even more out of their budget, shutting down offices and cutting programs. You know how I wrote that I could hold on until things got worse? Looks like they may get worse.

Oh. There is a punchline to this. When asked why they were focusing on issues like abortion instead of fixing the economy, one absolute winner named David Brambaugh said that if the state focused on morality, God would fix the economy.

. . .

I mean, just. Wow. WOW. Really, sir. Forcing your misguiding and non-Biblically supported beliefs on others AND setting up situations to where the most vulnerable people in the state may be kicked out of their group homes and end up starving is morality?

WOW.

Electric Word Life

Prince died. This is utterly shocking. It really hurt me. I am actually grieving right now and I can't exactly talk about this in a rational way. Prince is an artist I've loved since I was a kid. I still listen to Purple Rain all the way through about every few weeks. It's one of my favorite albums.  I'll write more when I can put this into better words.

Goodbye, Prince. I hope you feel no more pain.

If It Does Not Bring You Joy

I'm a good solid four inches into the final color of the baby blanket. It looks how I want it to look (well, maybe not quite as wide) but it is starting to get heavy. My elbows are hurting because of the weight. This won't last. The blanket will soon start laying differently and that will distribute the weight better.

Today was trash day and our stuff is already out. It always feels like a bit of a relief to have that behind me. Maybe it's just the fact that things are slightly less messy now.

Speaking of which, I think I'm going to extend my policy of not arguing with people on Facebook to real life as well. Politics and political stuff seem to be taking over people's lives to the extent that it is becoming their only focus. I don't want it to be mine so it isn't going to be.

From now on if someone says something I don't politically agree with, I'm just going to endure it until I can find a nice way to move the conversation in another direction . . . or get away from them. Unless I agree with them, it's unlikely they care what my opinion is so what is the point of even saying anything? Hopefully, my lack of argument or validation will cause them to realize I'm not interested and they'll stop.

The ideal thing would just be to inform them I'm not interested, I've met very few people who handle that kind of statement well. Most often if you tell someone you're not interested in what they're saying or to please be quiet, it opens up a can of worms where they talk even more.

I know that arguing about politics makes some people happy, but not me. I have this blog as my forum for discussing my political ideas. I don't want that filtering into realms where I'd rather be talking about other things. Plus, having been around people who talk about politics and watching them pitch fits on TV, I find them annoying and can only assume I looked just as annoying when I was talking about politics. That's kind of cringingly embarrassing and something I'd like to avoid from now on.

There are better things to talk about.

Your Own Sparkle Motion

I read an article by some conservative (I guess?) woman who was angry at feminist because they weren't respecting wombs and the interdependence between men and women. I read it and just kind of thought 'what?' and shook my head.

First of all, while I can't speak for all feminists, I am very concerned with wombs. As someone who had cancer in said womb and years of struggles before that, I certainly believe that the uterus is important. And while I know she was referring to the fact that feminists don't seem to be gung-ho about everyone birthing babies, I think she's even wrong about that. The choice to give birth is just as vital as the choice not to.

As for the interdependence with men thing, whatever. With both of these points, she was basically complaining because feminists aren't supporting traditional stuff. That's kind of the point, hunty. I'm here to make sure women get equal pay for equal work (note the full statement there, equal for equal, not the same money for less work or whatever mythology is being posited as what we want these days) and treated like humans (instead of being treated like subhuman chattel). My feminism is not here to support whatever Sparkle Motion you happen to be into.

Having said that, I think it's important for all groups (yes, even my own) to remember that no one else IS obligated to support your causes. It's certainly nice when they do, but they're under no contract to do so. Just because you have 50% of the same beliefs or even 99.9% of the same beliefs, that last small bit may be something that isn't shared. Don't try to force it to be.

The struggle is real for most of us and many people only have enough strength to fight for their own causes. Don't be angry at them for this. Personal Identity politics and a society overwhelmed by information have caused a great deal of fatigue in many of us. Sometimes, all someone can give you is just a promise not to stand in your way.

For the most part, as long as your personal choices aren't causing people harm, I'm not going to care what you do. Article Lady, if you want to have kids and depend on some dude, that's your choice. If you think it's going to make you happy, awesome. That should be enough for you though. You shouldn't need my or anyone else's attagirl.

A Moment of Respect

I had a doctor's appointment at Way Too Early this morning and I don't think I've quite recovered from it. There is just something about going to that office that drains me and not just the fact that they take blood from my body.

I have to say I am very happy about one thing though. Two appointments ago, I had to give a urine sample (not for drugs). They handed me the usual cup. I'm a woman and not that limber and I think the amount I got into that cup was like six drops. It was enough to do the test, but still. So last time when I went, I mentioned to her that it wasn't the easiest thing for me to do.

Today, she mentioned to me that she requested toilet hats because they are so much easier for women (and anyone who has mobility issues) to use when any kind of sample needs to be taken. She assured me that any time we needed a sample, she would remind the lab tech to give me that instead of a cup.

This is a little thing, a small request, but one that really made me feel very positive about the relationship I can build with this woman. She not only listened to the problem but took steps to improve the situation. She also remembered it was something I'd mentioned three months ago and took the time to show something had been done.  It made me feel really good, and that's kind of a rare feeling where medical situations are concerned.

If for no other reason, I will consider this a good day.

Saturday Assorted Musings

Game of Thrones starts in about a week. I'm cautiously excited about it. Last season was very uneven. I don't think that many of the storylines were all that successful, though some of the episodes were outstanding. This isn't about sticking strictly to the books. I'm fine when shows deviate from the source material because sometimes things that work in books don't work in a visual medium.

I think Magicians is a good example of this. The show seems to be tying elements from the first and second books together in ways that allow for a more coherent narrative. I think Shanarra did this well too. It wasn't THE BEST show I've ever seen, but the plotline was consistent through the whole season. Other than one incomprehensible bastard, I understood everyone's motivation and felt their various plots came to satisfying conclusions.

I think one of the most important elements of good writing involves having a clear understanding of your characters' motivations and writing in a way that stays faithful to this. It's important not to overstate the character's motivations. "I'm Bob and I'm doing these things I do because I need to prove myself." No, Bob never has to STATE his motivation. Just keep it in mind when you create actions and reactions for Bob. People will be able to figure him out if you stay true to his motives.

This isn't to say that motivation can't change. For instance, a character motivated by fear and avoiding situations where they have to face that fear may eventually find a way to make peace with their fear. Now their motivation can be something new. Changing motivation is often a lengthy process and usually involved quite a lot of self-discovery or practice.

Speaking of practice, I made more headway on the blanket. Progress is always a nice thing.

Weekend Plans

As I assumed I would, I started on the next ball today. I am now officially halfway through the blanket.  I hope to get a lot done this week. We shall see how that goes. In fact, other than some food storage prep and my usual tasks, I'm hoping for this weekend to be as low key as possible. I'm really exhausted. I need some quiet time.

You know, I remember being in first grade and the teacher telling as, as we all protested the idea of taking a nap, that one day we would look back on naptime and regret we were no longer allowed to do it. I didn't like her, but I think she was right.

Hopefully this weekend will involve lots of sleeping.

The Memories that Linger

The internet was out for like 13 hours yesterday. It was annoying as hell, but on the plus side, I accomplished a lot of knitting. This put me in a good place to finish out this next section (maybe) this weekend and start on the final part.

Speaking of craft things, one of the longstanding craft store supply places is going out of business. It makes me sad. Some of my earlier memories are going to this store with my grandmother. she always loved finding materials there. I liked it because I knew it was something that made her happy. With someone like her, happiness didn't always come easy.

I know I've mentioned this before, but as I grow older, I find it interesting how the memory of my loved ones is alive in what they loved. I find myself willing to let go of the pain they caused me and of the problems we had, but the moments when I would witness delight in their eyes and voices will never leave me. And the neatest part of it is how rare it was that they even said they loved these things. It was just what I observed.

I'm grateful that these are the memories that are sticking with me.

Ham Book IN

I got my Hamilton book in today! YAY! It's beautiful and amazing. I love it so much. I've not been this excited about a book in a long time. Mind you, when (IF) GRRM ever puts out the next book, I'll be excited about that, but in the meantime HAMILTON HAMILTON HAMILTON!

I do have to pause though, as I always do, and kind of consider the absolute insanity of the fact that I am this excited over a book about a hip hop musical over Alexander Hamilton. I think this speaks volumes for the power that Miranda has because 'hip hop' 'musical' and 'Alexander Hamilton' were not items I would have envisioned myself being this happy over this time last year.

BUT Miranda does have that power and so here we are!

HAMILTON! HAMILTON! HAMILTON!

Message from the Marriage Market

I watched a very sad video today about Chinese women who are being criticized for staying single. The PSA tried to explain to their parents (and all of society, I would assume) that being single isn't a sad or lonely choice. It is what they want, and, honestly, in a society that offers very little legal protections to married women, it's also the most practical choice.

At one point, someone makes the comment that women aren't considered complete until they get married. Hah. If there were EVER a manipulative social construct, it's that. Married women die before single women. Yes, they claim to be happier, but why wouldn't they? Most of their options for happiness are limited after they've got other people latched on to them. They might as well make the best of it.

Some people might find this offensive and perhaps your situation is different, but I really don't think I've ever seen any situation where marriage completed a woman. That isn't a knock at men. Even in lesbian couples, I've never seen it completing them. Marriage seems to do the opposite. It creates this situation where you have to compromise your wants and needs to keep the peace. That isn't completion and the idea that it is selfish to live otherwise has been total manipulation to keep us playing along.

Some commenters wrote about how this means that China's vast male population will also stay single and how it will cause problems as the older generation ages and fewer people are able to fill job positions. So what? The women are under no obligation to compromise themselves just to save the country, especially not one that doesn't value them.

If everything falls apart, it isn't the fault of the women who opted out, it's the fault of those who didn't give them decent reasons not to.

Progress

I finally made it to the second color on the baby blanket. First color got me to 14 inches, which is about where I wanted to be. So far, nothing is going overly wrong with it. I even ended on the correct row. It felt good to get to the next color though. I needed to see the change. I liked the Dusty Blue, but I was getting tired of it.

This is going to be one of those weeks where something is happening every day. There really is no way around it right now, and that's okay. I'm reasonably sure I'll survive. If I'm wrong, I suppose you'll know eventually.

One of the Moirai

I guess if anything has improved about my knitting, it's my ability to stay consistent with my size. I still have the same number on every row, which is a very good thing. The first baby blanket I ever made was so uneven. I kept adding stitches and having to reduce, then taking too many away and having to add back. It was a mess.

This blanket is even. That's the plan for it, really. It's even, neutral, and simple. It's not supposed to be some complex beautiful thing that never gets used. I want it to be something that is comforting and used often. I guess it helps that my skillset is really pretty basic too.

Do I feel bad that after all these years my knitting abilities are still so limited? Honestly? No, no I don't. I had such a mental block about knitting for so long that I'm actually just very happy I can accomplish anything with these needles. Sure my skill level is 'can slowly do what a machine could do in minutes,' but it's better than the 'gets headache watching instructional videos' level that it was a few years ago.

The Moirai were supposed to weave our fates. The Maiden spun, the Mother wove, and the Crone cut the thread. I guess if I were one of the Moirai, I'd be this half-skilled chick who occasionally filled in for the mother. Would people get fancy, frilly lives out of me? No, they wouldn't. Instead, they would get really even, simple lives full of comfort and stability. That honestly wouldn't be a bad thing for most people. I'm sure Achilles would have hated it.

Art and the Self

While I don't agree with the aims or goals of this site, I really did like this article. It talks about how the aim of the Humanities has been subverted over the years and it has misplaced how we view the intellectual life. Humanities is one of the programs that is being cut out of a lot of colleges.

People will argue that it isn't needed. Degrees should help people get jobs, nothing more. Other people believe that Humanities are needed to help people understand artistic and philosophical concepts, but only to the end of creating new things for profit. Others believe the Humanities are important because it helps to shape better citizens and give us a firm understanding of how to progress as a people.

The article laments the fact that we no longer view the intellectual as someone who explores their intelligence and creativity simply for the sake of it being a vital human experience. It is a part of our lives that can be about us and only us. It doesn't have to improve our social standing or the other people in the community. Art, creativity, and thinking are something we can do for our own sake.

If you read the blog, you know how I feel about this. All people are creative. All people should be encouraged to explore that side of themselves because creativity is vital to our survival. It helps us to find solutions to problems. It helps us to relax. It helps us to occupy our time in a way that has meaning . . . though when I think about how many hours I've spent rolling yarn into balls, it's possible I'm wrong on that last one.

Anyway, I agree with the article that art should never be taught as ONLY a means towards profit, though at the same time, I do believe we should teach people to value their creations and demand a proper amount for them if they do sell them. I also do not believe that art should be used as a way to 'teach people to think the proper things.' In fact, I think that's evil. The art that has survived over the ages will affect everyone in different ways. I don't think it is the role of the instructor to tell people how to feel or think about art, only to give the history and details of the art. Open up a discussion, yes. Tell people how to feel? Never.

Two Year Anniversary

Two years ago today I was in the process of getting directions to go to the gynecologist. I wrote about this last year, but I wanted to do so again to remark that in some ways, I'm even more disturbed by events than I was at the time, or even at this time last year. I'm not sure what I was thinking then. I was more hopeful though.

Not that I'm in such a bad place tonight. I'm cautious and wary because things could always get worse, but for the most part, I'm content. I have good things happening in my life. I'm knitting a baby blanket for my cousin. There is a musical that I love. There are people I adore.

Two years ago, even before going to the gynecologist, my emotions were blitzed. I knew the hellblood could come back at any second. I knew SOMETHING had to be done about it. For me, that was the most horrible part. There was no way I could avoid this. Something had to happen or I would bleed to death. There are a lot of ways you can neglect your health and just die quietly. Blood and gore shooting from your crotch don't allow for that.

So two years since I made the responsible decision to get this process started. Maybe when I'm feeling down, I should remind myself another Hamilton may be around the corner.

Privilege as Explained by Sims and High Shelves

People talk a lot about privilege these days. Some people discuss it in terms of considering it before you judge someone else. Other people are angry when they believe others have it. Others still are angry when they feel they've been 'accused' of having it, even if they do. Sometimes I'm not even sure people understand what it means. My sims, however, gave me a great example of it.

As I've mentioned before, in Sims 4, you have Aspiration goals. These are complex tasks that lead to some really great rewards. The best thing they give you is points you can use to gain traits, which assist you a lot in the game.  If you are ambitious with a Sim, you can achieve quite a few aspirations in their lifetime.

Now here's the tricky part. If your sims complete the one of the Aspirations concerning their home, every generation after that will automatically gain this Aspiration when you select it. The home is completed and beautiful. They don't need to do anything to make that happen. So as soon as they turn teen, you can select it and boom they have like 5000 pts to use on traits. If your parent sim has completed the Collector Aspiration, there are like maybe two or three things your following generations have to do. That's another 5000 pts. Before most people have any traits other than just the beginning ones, these sims now have a whole lot.

And this is not their fault. It doesn't make them evil. The first generation sim DID work for that stuff (in game terms) and of course, they would want their family to benefit from it. See, I think maybe this is something that people who have privilege don't quite grasp when people point out that they have them. No one is saying you're evil for being privileged. No one is saying you're an awful person.

They are just asking you to remember that you started out with more stuff than others and keep this in mind when you are discussing things with them. I don't even think in most cases they are asking you to give those things up (there are exceptions, of course). In most cases, we can't.

And often, advantages that we have come with disadvantages. My roommate is taller than me. The advantage is that he can reach all the high stuff. The disadvantage is that often the world isn't designed for tall people. Neither of us is morally or spiritually better people because of this difference. The difference is physical and has good and bad points. Neither of us has ever demanded the other apologize for their height because that would be insane.

He accepts his privilege in this situation and is kind enough to get the blankets out of the high shelves and switch the ceiling fans when the seasons change. I accept my privilege of being of the average height most things are designed for and do my best to consider how things we purchase will affect his comfort. And while both of these examples are simple and seem like common sense things people would do for each other, marriage end because people can't accept how size affects day to day living.

Lately, it seems that people default to anger and defensiveness. I don't think that is getting us anywhere. Maybe a little understanding and a little communication would help.

Various Mundane Observations

This time last year, Easter had just happened. It was a couple of weeks ago this year, as it isn't one of the fixed holidays. I made potato mini-quiches that were semi-successful. You know, like most of the things in my life.

We ran a bunch of errands this morning and got our first of the month bills squared away. Then we had tacos because Taco Tuesday. It was nice.

I'm trying not to dread the fact that summer is almost here. I'm really not prepared for it, but there's not one damned thing I can do to stop it from showing up. As I wrote that, some moth landed on my glasses, as if to taunt me.

Nature.

The Story of You

I ate Crackerjacks today and thought about my grandfather. He used to love them. Even though he was a skinny guy, he had a massive sweet tooth. Crackerjacks, Little Debbies, and moon pies were always in the house because of him. Every time I eat any of them, he always comes to mind.

It's strange what brings back our memories of people. Like Washington sings in Hamilton, you have no control over who lives or dies or tells your story. You can, however, have some control over the things that you show to people, the things they might remember about you.

As I've mentioned before, one of the things that frustrates me about my mother is how she threw so much of herself into men that she often didn't have a lot of opinions about things outside of them. I know her favorite authors and her favorite band. But as far as what she loved to snack on or other things that made her happy, I have no idea. In fact, even her favorite authors and favorite band didn't exactly fill her with happiness. Passion, yes, but happiness? No. In the end, a lot of the memories I have of my mother are about anything but her happiness.

I think it's important to impress on those around us, the younger ones who will tell our stories one day, that happiness IS an important component of life, a component that we pay attention to on a daily basis. I think it's important they see us having favorites, likes and dislikes, as this adds depth to the color of who we are. It also shows them how important it is to express the individual and the pursuit of the individual's happiness.

It doesn't just show how full of a person you are, it also encourage them to be a full person as well.

Drive

One of the arguments I always hear when people talk about why they are against socialism is that they believe that if money is not the reward for work, no one will do any work. Now, I believe there are quite a few reasons that socialism will never ideally work. Just like many other political philosophies, it hinges on the idea that humans won't be selfish assholes. Kind of a flawed plan.

If you tell me that you don't support socialism because you doubt the state would ever evenly distribute things, I will agree with you. If you tell me you don't support it because you believe in the survival of the fittest, then I get it (even if I don't agree). But this thing about people having no motivation without money as a factor? No, that's just bull.

Practically everyone I know is not motivated by money. They have jobs and gain money to support the things that DO motivate them. Most people are dedicated to things that do not gain them monetary profit. They DO profit from them, but not in a way that adds to their bank accounts. In fact, most of the time, the things that motivate them cost them money.

People dedicate years of their lives to raising children. They spend millions on these kids with no guarantees of any happy returns at all. And yet, they do it. I know people who get up every morning at 4 AM and run for miles so they can compete in races where they win nothing but a tshirt that is worth less than the entry fee. I know people who volunteer to help people move through the scariest moments of their lives. I know people who spend millions to feed animals. I know people who plan their time around sporting events or music festivals.

And yes, of course, when we do all of the above things, we enrich ourselves (in theory). There is profit to it. It is not, however, a profit that would in any way diminish if we all had a stable safety net to keep us from starving to death. In fact, it would give people more time to really do the things they love. More time to push themselves, to enjoy their families, to work on their art.

I also get that it would never be that simple or that easy. I know it won't happen. Even still, the idea that people would have no motivation is bogus.

Unexpected Reunion

I went to dinner with my brother, his family, and my dad today. For the most part, it was a pretty decent time. They told Dad and me about their cruise ship vacation, which sounded about as weird as I always imagined such a thing would be.

As we were about to leave, my grandmother's preacher and his family came into the restaurant. This was kind of an odd moment. It was good to see them. It had been many years since I saw any of them. At the same time, it was also awkward because the reason I don't see them is because I don't go to church with them anymore. We used to be very close, but when I stopped attending such things, I no longer saw them at all.

I guess church was all we had. I'm not saying that in a bitter way, just in an observational one. As close as we can be to other humans, sometimes small factors can remove them from our lives almost completely. It's usually only the rare one or two people who stay with us on a consistent basis. The factors that brought us together altered. They moved on with their lives, I did the thing that is, I suppose, moving on with mine.

What's strange is that there was a time when I couldn't imagine my life without these people in it. Eventually, all relationships come to an end. It's easy to be upset or resentful of this fact, but I don't think we always should be. Sometimes people are only in our lives for so long.

April Foolery

Three siblings on my FB list posted a pic today of them getting a Sisters tattoo. I knew that this probably didn't happen. They're pretty conservative and . . . I want to say 'basic' here but that word has overtones, so we'll go with prim. Some people got fooled by it and were supportive of them. They even complimented the tattoos. The people who did so, of course, were mostly tatted people themselves. As people with tatts often do, they shared their own stories about their first tattoos and what it meant to them.

Finally, someone pointed out that it was an April Fool's prank.

When people try to be funny, I usually try to give them the benefit of the doubt. In most cases (though, not all) I always assume they didn't mean any harm. They didn't mean to hurt anyone. They just didn't think it through. I do this because I've had jokes backfire on me before, hurting others when I really didn't intend that at all. I really doubt that "haha, lookit how we stooped to the level of you other skanky people" was their intention. I hope.

Then again, when someone expressed their good-natured disappointment, one of the three sisters commented that god made her body perfect and she saw no need to change it.

Cept . . .

I KNOW she shaves her legs and other things. I know she dyes her hair. I know she wears a bra and paints her nails. I know she wears makeup. In short, she changes it as much as she feels comfortable changing it, god or no.

I'll be over here sippin some tea.