Fall

Thanksgiving was spent with my best friend and her family. I had a very good time and the food was great. 

However, when I was leaving, I fell down. This is the second year in a row that I've fallen down around Thanksgiving. There are some differences. Last year it took me a very long time to figure out how to get off the ground. In fact, I had a few panicked moments of wondering if I'd be stuck there forever. This year I was able to get up fairly quickly. I am in pain, but not as bad as I was last year. 

There is always a lot of fear after I have a fall. For one thing, I'm worried that I damaged something in a serious way. This has happened with some of my falls. I'm also worried that it will start a pattern where I fall all the time. I had to walk out to the car today and I was pretty scared about it. When I lose my balance, something in me starts to really panic about it. 

Anyway, outside of falling, the holiday was very nice.

Gotcha Anniversary

I'm a few days late, but this 21st was the Gotcha Anniversary of our kitty Machen. We were waiting for a friend to arrive when we started hearing mews outside. My roommate went out to investigate and found a cute little gray and white kitten. 

Our other cat was beyond not happy about this.

We tried to find another home for him that would be better than ours, but that didn't happen. He was meant to be our cat, I guess. I love him a great deal, even if he's not the smartest kitty out there. He's sweet and charming.

Past Appointment

I got the confirmation I needed about a certain subject. My medical provider and I talked about my father's death. She put me on a different med for my depression. I need to make some moves where the first topic is concerned but that can wait until after the holiday, I think.

In the meantime, I'll try to adjust to the new medication. Hopefully it isn't awful.

Appointment

I'm off to the doctor's tomorrow. We're going to be discussing interesting things. Hopefully it will improve my life. We'll see. I put too much faith in chemistry. 

So I'm trying to do some advocating for myself. Then I have to do some other errands. The nice thing about this appointment is that I know I've lost some weight since the last one so that won't be an issue. So yay.

Sick House

For about a week now, we've both been ill. We're coughing, running fevers, the works. It's not been fun. 

I'm still really frustrated by what happened. I think the worst part is that I just didn't think it would. I really thought things would turn out differently and now I'm stuck watching a nightmare unfold. It's really painful. I wish there were other alternatives.

In the meantime, I guess I just focus on getting well.

Tired

I'm sick. I've been sick for several days now. It's better than it was but it's still not great. My throat hurts and my sinuses are a mess and I have a shallow but persistent cough. It's not hellish, but it's far from fun.

I'm seeing people resign from discussion boards and just go completely silent on social media altogether. I think we're going to be seeing more and more of that in the months to come. People are really scared and they have reason to be. 

All of this makes me very tired. I'm not sleeping well because my mind is reeling with the potentials. I'm also just coughing a lot, which doesn't help. This is a rough time.

Quiet

I hate the feeling that I should stay quiet. I hate the feeling that I should check out. I hate the feeling that I should just stop being. I hate the feeling that people would rather I did. I hate the feeling that people are gloating. I hate the feeling that they'll never learn. I hate the feeling that things just took a major turn for the worse. 

This is a bad day.

Hello Darkness

Fall Back happened and now it's dark far earlier than it had been. It was also cloudy and gloomy all day, which didn't help.

This is the time of year when our SAD really starts to mess with us. Both of us take steps to make sure it doesn't really undo us, but it isn't easy.

In better news, my Halloween was a lot of fun. I needed that.