Picture This

When I was leaving physical therapy today, my therapist was walking with me and hesitated. I asked her what was wrong and she said that, if I wanted to, I could have a picture taken for them to put on their website. She said it wasn't a HAVE TO thing, but given that I would be completing my program, it was a step usually taken.

I said yes. Interestingly to me, I said yes without hesitation. 

On the ride home, I thought more about why I'd done this. It really comes down to representation. PT has been fundamentally helpful to me. I have learned the proper ways to exercise my body without harming myself in the process. I honestly had no idea how to do that before. I would work out, but often with injuries. 

I know I am by far not the only heavy (and heavy older) person out there who wants to find the right ways to move. I'm sure there are a lot of people in the same position I was in just a few months prior. So seeing a body that is clearly heavy and clearly older might encourage people to seek out instruction on the best ways to exercise. 

Is part of my brain freaking out about this? Of course. For so long, I have been a thrall to my conditioning, believing I was not worth seeing or being photographed. Or, worse, believing that photos of me would only expose me to ridicule. And . . . that might happen too. But I don't really care. If seeing a body like mine helps someone else find the instrution they need, then it's worth it.

Allure Box January 2026

The item we got to choose color options from this month was Tarte Cosmetics' Sculpt Tape Contour. I chose the cool bronze. This is an interesting product for me because it has a built-in sponge applicator. In theory, the applicator is a great idea, but it does make controlling the amount of product that comes out somewhat of a challenge. I'm not sure what I think of the color yet, but of the choices I had, it was the lightest and so probably the best for me. I'm not really a huge bronzer kind of person, but we'll see how it goes.

My next product was the one I was most excited about, Obagi Hydrate Facial Moisturizer by Obagi Medical. Oh, I was seriously NOT disappointed. This product is amazing! It's scentless and comes out in a thick, slightly amberish color. It goes on very smoothly and makes my skin feel stunning. I have so many problems with dry skin during the winter months, especially because of my CPAP. With the Obagi, that has not been a problem at all. I would very much love to keep using this. 

The thing I was second most excited about was Blake Brown Beauty's Fundamental Nourishing Mask, admittedly partly because I find the packaging so beautiful. It looks more expensive than it even is. I enjoyed this product a lot. It really coats the hair well, and it smells wonderful. The scent notes are nerol and cardamom on the top, lily of the valley and nectar in the heart, with bottom notes of cedar wood and Madagascar vanilla. It worked well with my body chemistry. I was pleased with how soft my hair felt after my shower. 

On the subject of hair, the box also contained the Paul Mitchell Super Skinny Serum. I was pretty meh about this. It's not really an expensive product, and I have a lot of 'apply to your damp hair' leave-in stuff right now. However, one of its claims really intrigued me. It said it cut down drying time. I had no idea if that was even possible, but I slathered this stuff on my hair, hoping it was. You know what? It actually did cut down on drying time. My hair was dry within minutes, which is great because it's cold right now. Also, that meant there was less time for the hairdryer to mess things up. My hair is fine, thin, and wispy. When I blow dry it, I often look like Angelica's Cynthia doll. Because it dried so much faster this time, I was able to control the shape a lot better. 

I also received Mitchell & Peach English Leaf Body Soufflé Cream. Okay, I have a lot of thoughts. This one has certainly been a process. The notes on it are English leaf, citruses, coriander leaves, basil, mint, and floral oils and grass.  I didn't like the scent at first. I let my roommate try it, and he really hated it. I loved the feel of the lotion though, and after a while, I enjoyed the way the scent settled on my skin. It contains honey, cocoa, and Vitamin B5, and all of that works well with my skin. Over time, I also began to enjoy the bold leafy/herby scents. It's funny how that can happen. In the end, I found myself really liking this product and will probably use it up completely. 

My bonus item was Levitate Beauty's Hydrogel Under Eye Masks (3 pairs) that contained collagen, ginseng, and pearl extract. I have to admit I was disappointed when I didn't get the other bonus item option, but actually, I enjoyed these masks quite a lot. They were bigger than most eye masks I usually use, but also thinner, which means they stayed in place better than eye masks often do. It also meant I could apply them to my upper lid after using them on the lower one, and they stayed put. They had a removable layer on them to help put them in place. There was a good amount of extra liquid in the packets, meaning you could basically coat your whole face while wearing the masks, a nice added benefit. 

MY LIST FROM FAVORITE TO LEAST. (Though I have to admit, I liked a lot of these and basically had several ties.)

1. Obagi Hydrate Facial Moisturizer by Obagi Medical

2. Paul Mitchell Super Skinny Serum

2. Mitchell & Peach English Leaf Body Soufflé Cream

2. Blake Brown Beauty's Fundamental Nourishing Mask

2. Levitate Beauty's Hydrogel Under Eye Masks 

6. Tarte Cosmetics' Sculpt Tape Contour

Illegitimi non carborundum

I basically just focused on another product review today and didn't let myself get too down. There are medications working against me on that front. I'm doing my best to just stay even but it isn't easy.

One of my favorite Youtubers has passed away. Her channel partner/best friend made the announcement yesterday. She wasn't very old and I will miss her a lot. She was very vibrant.

It seems like a lot of the light is going out in the world right now. Every day, things seem a little worse, like the powers that be are trying their best to grind us all down. I'm not sure what to do about that outside of just resisting. I wish we weren't still having to deal with these things. 

Ispy Box Jan 2026

Today I got my Ipsy box for January. It arrived rather quickly.

The first item I received was Kulfi Beauty Badi Lash Smudge Proof Volumizing Tubing Mascara in Black. I really loved this! I don't have very long or thick lashes, but this mascara really gave me some good volume on them. Because it's tubing, it stayed on until I decided to remove it. The wand was thin and long and the formula was really great.

Then I got the BYROE Sugar Plum Shimmer Lip Oil. The formula was good and I liked the way the oil felt on my lips. I even though the glitter aspect of it wasn't uncomfortable on my lips. HOWEVER, it did transfer a lot to my chin. This might not be a problem if I had on lip liner, but I didn't so it became an issue. 

Next up was WANDER BEAUTY On-the-Glow Blush & Illuminator in Dusk. This was a good size and had a liquid blush on one end and the illuminator on the other. Both colors worked well with my complexion. I think the illuminator works better on my eyelids than on my cheeks. I didn't try it on my forehead but it might work well there too. I found the blush to be very easy to blend and it was buildable enough.  It looked good on my lips, cheeks, and eyelids. 

Item four was EVEREDEN'S Hair and Body Fragrance Mist in Darling. It works with sensitive skin and has notes of rose, strawberries, and vanilla. I wasn't sure how I would feel about this because the brand skews young and I'd never used a hair mist before. However, I find that I really love the scent and enjoy the way it blends with my hair. 

Lastly, I received CHICA BEAUTY Mirame Liquid Liner. I'd gotten a palette from them before and liked it a lot so I had some high hopes for the liner. However, I found it to be pretty streaky and it didn't stay on my eyes very well. Within an hour or so it was already smudging and running. Of everything here, I liked this the least. It didn't help that they'd sent it in black. Since I've gotten older, I tend to wear brown or gray liners for my eyes. It's frustrating because Ipsy actually asks you what colors you want and I'd told them browns and grays. 

MY LIST FROM FAVORITE TO LEAST.

1. The Kulfi mascara-- beautiful on the lashes, very nice for the price.
2. Evereden hair mist--great scent, good for sensitive skin, blends well with my chemistry. 
3. The Wander stick-- good colors on me but a bit too pricy for what you get.
4. Byroe shimmer lip oil-- feels good on the lips but glitter transfers to the face.
5. Chica Beauty eyeliner--streaky and not the right color for me. 

Slowing Down

I have been so busy for so many months now. Next week, things will start slowing down. This is very good. I need them to slow down. I'm frazzled and worn out at this point.

Don't get me wrong, I'm happy for the business. I'm glad I finally got a mammogram (no cancer) and had a biopsy done on my thyroid (also no cancer). I'm glad I've addressed a lot of the mental and medical issues that needed addressing. I'm also glad I've been a tiny bit more social.

But I am tired. I feel pulled apart and in pieces. I need some time to just be in my house and regroup my thoughts. I'm thinking next month will be my time to do that. 

This is probably a good thing. February tends to be our coldest and winteriest month. Not having a lot to do during that time is probably not only needed but also safe.

The Way of Scents

I've been delving into the realm of scents lately. One of the things I've noticed the most is how much body chemistry can adjust a scent, not just when the scent is first applied, but also over time. 

My body tends to marry scents fairly well. I think it's one of the reasons why I'm probably better off with perfumes that emphasize the skin's natural scent more than anything else. It's subtle, interesting, and complex.

Scents are an amazing form of self-expression. They also leave lasting memories. I can remember the smell of people who have long passed from my life and this world as easily as if they were in the room with me right now.

I tend to like spicy things, gourmonds, and darker scent notes. I like whiskeys and tobaccos, leather, cinnamon, and cherry. I love the way these things make me smell. 

Scent is a fun area to explore. There could be all kinds of things I might find that work for me, things I didn't expect. In terms of my year of beauty, this should be very educational. 

The Difference

I had to have work done on my mouth today. I've been dealing with this dentist's office since March of last year and I'm very glad I made the decision to do so. This isn't something I like to talk about a lot, but my teeth had gotten really bad. In my case, it was genetic working against me. No matter how hard people tried in my family, bad teeth always seemed to be a thing that happened.

I hated my teeth, my smile, talking to people. I hated going anywhere if people were going to see my teeth. It was really limiting the already rather limited life I had. 

But having my teeth replaced as changed so much for me. I love my smile now. I love talking to people again. I can walk into a room and feel confident. 

While I was at the office today, I told them how much they had changed things for me. I wanted them to understand that the work they're doing can make a massive difference in someone's life. Part of me thinks they hear that all the time, but even if they do, it's always good to remind people when they're having a positive impact on things.