Under the Weather

I've been sick for a while. My roommate and I think we caught something. It kept us ill throughout the holiday weekend. Given that we were pretty down about Machen anyway, this just made it worse.

I'm in the process of recovering but it's slow. I hate being sick during the summer because the heat makes it so much harder. I feel drained and depleted. 

Hopefully I'll be doing better in a few days. 

Unexpected Loss

Our sweet baby Machen, whom we have raised since he was a kitten, passed away today. This was very unexpected and horrible. I mean, we knew something was wrong with him, but we didn't expect it to end this way.

He was a rambunctious kitten. He often drove us crazy. I knew it was just kitten stuff though. I assumed he would grow into a lazy, happy, comfortable adult cat. Now I'll never know.

I'm heartbroken about this. It's never easy to lose a pet. I loved him so much. Now all I have are memories and pictures.

Post Appointment

I had my first appointment to see how my implants were doing. We did another X-ray and a physical examination of them. The dentist said they looked great. 

I'm very relieved about that. The fact that these implants are under my skin and I can't see what's going on with them makes me so nervous. Until they're fully healed (which will take another 8 months or so), everything for me is just a waiting game.  It's frustrating but I just have to be patient about it.

Right now, there is a lot I need to be patient about. I still can't do everything I used to do before the surgery. Other things have to be taken slowly and gently.  

I'm doing my best. This whole implant situation was a major commitment for me and we all know how good I am at committing.

Father's Day

This is my second Father's Day without my dad. I handled it better than I did last year. I mostly just tried to stay quiet and distracted. That was for the best.

I still miss my dad a lot. I still feel very shocked by his death and part of me still wants to call him. I certainly won't delete his number from my phone. I may never do that.

It was also my brother's birthday. I wished him a good birthday and I hope he had one.

Recovery

I wish I had really thought through the timeline of this surgery recovery. I'm basically trying to deal with this while it's hot and muggy. That isn't making it easy. I feel drained and washed out most of the time. 

So far things look okay though. I won't have another appointment for another two weeks. I'm really hoping nothing goes wrong.

Surgery Today

My surgery was today and I think it went well. They did another scan of my mouth afterward and said everything looked okay. I didn't bleed a lot but boy am I in a lot of pain. 

The pain is pretty intense. I really want to rip my face off at the moment. It's awful. I really hope I can sleep tonight.

Surgery Soon

On the fifth of next month, I'm having surgery. It shouldn't be life-threatening or anything, but it's still scary. 

I called them today and opted to take the twilight sedation pills. I think it will make it easier for me to get through the process emotionally.