Paperwork

My dad left all of his paperwork a mess. It's going to take lawyers and probably probate to sort it all out. It shouldn't come to that, but it probably will. I'm not sure how long this will take. Probably forever. 

Long story short, get your will and other paperwork sorted before you die. Don't put your loved ones in a bind about all of this afterward. 

Orphaned

My dad passed away today. He was 72. I loved him dearly. He was one of my closest friends. 

My dad always treated me with respect. If he didn't approve of my life choices, he never said anything about it. He just accepted me for who I was, flaws and all.

This isn't eloquent and I'm not sure I can be for a while. It's too sudden and I'm too close to it. I just know I miss him and wish this whole horrible situation hadn't happened. 

The Worst News

Someone very close to me had a series of strokes and it's very bad. I'm concerned I may be losing them and it's really breaking my heart. I'm trying to keep this vague to protect their medical situation. 

I love this person very deeply. They're part of the very definition of who I am. I hate the idea of losing them, but I know it could very easily happen. This was all just so sudden. 

I don't know what to do. 

Post Mother's Day

I had a dream about my mom the night before Mother's Day. I dreamed she was renting a house and had convinced me to live with her. The house was weird. It had the kitchen in what was clearly a bedroom space and had three very large bathrooms in it.

Somehow in the middle renting this house, she decided she would sell it. We started seeing prospective buyers, and all the while I was wondering how this was going to happen when we were renting.

Mother's Day itself was quiet, as it should be given that all the women responsible for my birth are dead and I have no children of my own. I'm glad it was quiet. It used to be pretty stressful. Any day I had to spend with my mother and grandmother was always stressful.

Past Mother's Day has been fine. The weather is dark and dreary, but it isn't too hot. The trailer for Rings of Power Season 2 happened and I remain rather unimpressed. 

Closeness

The kitten doesn't understand closeness. He wants to. He'll sit near you and then try to lean against you. But then he always pulls away as if it confuses him.

He also doesn't understand petting very well. We've pet him since he first came in the house, but he seems confused as to what it's supposed to do. 

His main form of affection is to rub against your legs. The problem is, he usually does this during times when you'd rather he didn't. For example, he loves to rub against people's legs when they're walking. 

Right now he's on the back of my chair, hovering close to me, but not quite touching me. Sometimes he'll lean in close enough for contact, but then he'll pull away again.

Kitten Toy

The kitten has managed to find every toy that we had stashed away in the house. Every ball, jingle, and stuffed mouse that other cats have hidden over the years, the new kitten has found. 

Of these toys, the stuff mice have suffered the most. We'll see a stuffed mouse in his mouth one day, then find the stuffing in one room the next. Sometimes it takes us a while to find the outer layer of the poor toy. 

Today the kitten was hanging around the back screen door, looking forlorn. I wasn't sure what his deal was at first, but I noticed something pink and furry when I put on my shoes. The screen door doesn't close very well, and somehow the kitten had managed to push the body of one of his toy mice outside.

Needless to say, the body is back inside with us now. I have no idea if it will stay in here.

Let It Be May

I was talking to my best friend about how March and April just flew by. It's suddenly May and that seems really quick. So far this month has been dreary. Hopefully it will brighten up. I really don't want it to get too hot yet, but some sun would be nice.

We're headed toward summer and I'm not happy about the heat but I'm happy about the potential to not be SAD anymore. That would be great.