Still Sad

I called a relative that I was supposed to call on Saturday and told him I didn't call because I'm sad. It's true. I'm so sad right now. I'm not really handling this situation with my dad well. I'm not sure, at the moment, that I ever will.

Things have been a blur. July 4th happened and we did nothing. We didn't even eat anything special or anything. The most we did was look at fireworks out the window. It was just another blank day for me, I guess. 

Most days just feel awful. I lost my father and I'm just not really doing well. I hate this so much.