More complaining.

Today was another humid day. I wasn't happy. I had a tiny little melt down. Okay, maybe it was more than a tiny one. It was big. I wept.

Look, I know I need to stop feeling sorry for myself, but this is A LOT. I'm just to the point where Summer need to go away.

And I still have to deal with this until September.

Unfun

It was just warm enough to make me feel full of wasps today. It's frustrating because I was trying to be a good friend and a good aunt. I didn't do well. It's left me really exhausted.

We did a video tonight and I didn't talk enough in it. I just didn't have the energy or even the motivation. I wasn't fun. My soul is just kind of empty.

I hope I get more sleep tonight and I hope I feel inspired tomorrow. I need that.

Annual Complaining

Okay, so, they set off a LOT of fireworks last night. It scared my cats. It caused my breathing to get really bad. It caused both of us to have issues with our sinuses.

They're setting them off tonight too. I had to put oxygen on way earlier than I usually do and my eyes are watering so badly I can't even keep both of them open at the same time.

Hamilton

I'd wondered if I would be impressed seeing it, given that I have the soundtrack and the musical only leaves less than a minute off of the album. I shouldn't have worried. This was amazing.

Everyone's performance is so good. I realized a ton of stuff about the show that'd not really considered while just listening to it. You really see how Jefferson uses Burr. You really see how cocky Jefferson is. You feel people's emotions so much more when you can see their faces. It's glorious.

I am so happy they put this out.

Friday Reflections

My headspace was bad today. I'm tired and I had trouble focusing. I accomplished a few things I wanted to accomplish, but other than that, I mostly just zoned. I think a lot of people are going through that.

Summer is hard enough on its own, but add in social unrest, economic uncertainty, politics, people being jerks, lots of dust, and a pandemic and it's just a lot more than I can really handle. My mind shuts down to protect me.

On the plus side, the cat's been really sweet today. I'm so blessed to have her. See, that's the thing I need to remember. Even in the midst of all of this weird struggle and conflama, I have so much to be thankful for.

Reprieve

It cooled down! It was like in the mid 90s but then it rained and cooled. Oh this is so nice. All the wasps in my brain got quiet. I may even be able to sleep tonight.

I need that. I needed this.

The Mud

The Dust makes potent mud. It sticks to things a lot more than one would expect. I've had to clean a lot of it off of stuff. Normally I probably wouldn't bother, but it was just so thick. And in my room, I'd vacuumed just the other day and wanted to enjoy that a little longer.

I was out today so I didn't get to follow this closely, but some people tried to meltdown one of my FB groups. It's a Hamilton Fandom and this group has been nothing but peaceful until just today. I have no idea why this keeps happening. It's like people are trying to suck out all the joy in the world.