Normally during Spring, there is enough light going on that my anxiety is somewhat lifted. During some blissful years, it's lifted so much that I spend Spring feeling downright happy and mellow. All of that happy and mellow and lightness helps me to cope with the stress that Springs with it.
So far, that isn't the case this year. We have mostly overcast days and lots of grayness. Unfortunately, even if I don't get my light, I still get all the stressful bits. Having to arrange lawnmowing. Having to deal with bugs showing back up. Having to deal with the prospect of eventual summer and heat. All of it is ripping at my psyche in some very nasty ways.
I'm having trouble coping. I'm having trouble even having the emotional strength to cope. I know it's irrational and I know it's just the brain weasels talking, but this year, so far, has been HARD on me emotionally. Really hard.
I need light.
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