Self Compassion

So we're doing a self-worth workbook in therapy.  This month's chapter is over self-compassion. I know this is something I struggle with a lot. It's something I don't practice as much as I should because, for a long time, I felt like it was self-indulgent and wasn't doing me any good.

However, tonight I watched a podcast by the doctor who came up with the major work on self-compassion and she mentioned that one of the key elements to it is finding ways to remove harm from yourself.

She talked about how accepting yourself completely doesn't mean accepting all of your actions and behaviors. If you are engaging in self-destructive patterns, you need to find it in yourself to love yourself enough to stop.

I think this is a key I've always been missing when it comes to weight loss. Part of me always felt like the process of losing weight was a rejection of me as a person. I've always been protective of myself because so many people rejected me because of my size. 

The problem is that I was defining ME as much by my size as everyone else was. I saw myself as 'the fat girl' and just decided I would love me as that because it's who I am. 

It isn't who I am though. Being fat is just a factor of who I am. It isn't the totality of me. It's a part of me that has been causing me issues for years and yet it is something I need to address/am addressing. I let other people defining me by my size define myself that way too. I'm not going to do that anymore.

I am worthwhile and I am worth saving.