Neglect

I grew up neglected. My father wasn't allowed to be around me very much and my mother didn't care. My mother was also a person who suffered from a substance abuse disorder, and she suffered from her own neglect. There is generational neglect, really.

That being said, as an adult, I find that I still fall into the pattern of neglecting myself. I got my first mammogram at 51. I allowed my feet to be in pain for months before dealing with them. I allowed my teeth to have issues for a decade before dealing with them. I allowed these things, because I didn't want to be a bother, because I was afraid, because I didn't want to make anyone mad.

One of the things I'm trying to do with my life is to break this pattern of neglect. I want to take care of myself in every way that is within my control. I want to go into challenging situations knowing that I am can make decisions to correct said situations. 

I know that when I don't neglect myself, things ARE better. My life is easier. I'm usually in less pain and have less stress. The patterns of a lifetime are difficult to break though. I just need to stay on top of it.