State of the Nation

I'm writing this early because this is fresh on my mind. I feel very saddened about the state of my nation. I feel like the walls are closing in. I feel like the tyrant is trying to take all the power he can away from the people. Worst of all, I believe certain people will let him do this, because they have such unwarranted and blind faith in him. I hope I'm wrong. I really hope I'm wrong.

When I was growing up, I thought by the time I was in my 40s, approaching my 50s, I would see a more open US, a freer US, a more embracing and tolerant US. Sadly, that is not the case.

Instead, we're less open, less tolerant, and possess a more narrow sense of freedom. People hate you just because you're you. People hate you because what they assume you to be. Say the wrong thing, show the wrong bit of empathy, and even the people on your side will turn against you.

This is not the way to sustain a nation. This is not the way to sustain anything.

Waiting Around to Die

May was a weird month. It went by faster than the last two months did, but mostly because people decided to increase the scary by adding protests and threats. Then violence. Then riots. It's been a rough month.

But I guess people want to do SOMETHING. A lot of people are finding constructive and productive things to do, but maybe some people just lack that ability? I dunno. It's just scary

The Change

The cat likes to sit on my computer desk and often hides my taskbar. I finally realized she is a CAT and won't see to reason. I am a human and I can change things. So I changed a thing.

I put my taskbar at the top of my screen. Now I can always see it, no matter what the cat is doing. And that problem is solved! Now, mind you, it does cause other issues. This is strange for me. I've never had the taskbar up before and I keep missing things. I'm sure I'll get used to it though. And it's better than complaining to a cat that doesn't speak my language why she's annoying me.

A Lot

I am so scratched up right now. The cat has managed to claw me (by clumsy accident) so many times in the last few days. It's super annoying.

It's been rainy and dark for days. It will probably remain that way until June. Past that, who knows?

There is a lot of stuff going on in the world right now. Racism, tragedy, defensive people, tyrants who don't want to be fact-checked......I'm overwhelmed by it. As I said, it's A LOT.

My heart goes out to those whoa re aching tonight.

Rain, Soap, Happiness

It's been raining on and off all day. It's not a horrible stormy level of rain, but it's enough to make my body ache. When I get too tense about it, I look over at my blanket and smile.

I'm glad that I like the blanket now. When I first finished it, I didn't like it. That's just part of my process, I suppose. I'm only now getting to where I can upload stuff without feeling cringy about it. Maybe I just have an adverse reaction to finishing things. Maybe this is just the brain weasels fighting as hard as they can to stay in control.

Speaking of things that make me happy, I watched a video today over someone making soap that looks like cupcakes. It is amazing work. I think the fact that people make such beautiful things out of soap is fascinating. And it's so satisfying when they cut into it.

Gravity

I went to bed earlier last night and doubled down about the whole matter with a nap this afternoon. Between both, I had enough energy to do some minor vacuuming around my area of the living room. Cat hair was abundant.

In the midst of this, a lot of stuff fell. Basically anything I picked up fell. There is a movie on the floor I still need to retrieve. The vacuum fell as I was trying to clean out the brush part of it. Then it fell again. I just.....sigh.

I think I would be less exhausted right now if gravity hadn't decided to play tricks against me. I mean, yes, I realize that wasn't a direct attack. It just feels like it was. At least the area is cleanerish.

Memorial Monday

Okay so today I was in a horrible mood. Seriously, just horrible. Horrible. Growly.

I think I need sleep and more sleep. That will happen now.