Oh And

I got told today that a thing I thought was settled isn't settled.

AND

I have almost no time to settle it.

AND

I can't call anyone about it until TUESDAY.

Fuck this year. 
FUCK 2022.
FUCK IT WITH A JAGGED FORK.

Pod Recs

If you've been thinking about dipping your toes into listening to horror or SciFi podcasts and aren't sure where to start, these are some recommendations. 

The DECA Tapes: Hard SciFi/dystopian future/completed. 

We follow the crew of a slow ship traveling through space to a mining colony. Along the way, we find out some pretty nasty secrets.

DECA Tapes only has 8 episodes, so if you're not sure if you're ready to commit to something for several seasons, this is a good place to start.

The Magnus Archives: Horror/modern day/completed. 

We follow a prim and disgruntled archivist as he tries to organize boxes and boxes full of statements people have given about supernatural events. Things get really complicated as the dark secrets of the universe are revealed. 

TMA is probably one of the better-known podcasts of this kind. You've probably seen tons of memes over it and not even realized it. It's legit amazing.

Old Gods of Appalachia: horror anthology/points of American history/ongoing. 

This is a collection of stories about the people, places, and events in the Appalachia region of the US, a mountain range that is older than bones. It has bargaining tricksters, magical grannies, and monsters rooted deep in the rocks. 

If you love listening to people tell you stories, this is a good podcast for you. If you love cosmic horror stuff (Lovecraft or Machen), you will like this a lot.

The Silt Verses: magical reality horror/alt modern era/ongoing.

This podcast.  THIS PODCAST. This podcast is about a place where gods can be born via intention and belief. And then they want to feed. Corporations and governments are trying to control this, but they really can't. 

This podcast is the best thing I listened to last year. The two seasons they have out are enthralling with some of the most mesmerizing voice actors around. It's SO good.

All of these podcasts have unique storytelling, great world-building, and expansive mythologies (even if one of those mythologies is based on comics). They will give you hours of entertainment and a lot of stuff to think about.

What a Dame

I just finished touching up my nails and thought about how much I, personally, owe to Vivienne Westwood. So many things that I love to the core of my being, so many things that influence and inspire me, and so many things that have, at one point or another kept me alive, were directly or indirectly influenced by this woman. 

She died today and I've watched people I adore pouring out messages of gratitude to her, thanking her for being the foundation of the modern alt-fashion movement. How many people are selling their creations today because Westwood had the courage to open up a shop and call it Sex? How many people found the courage to be their true selves because Westwood showed us how sometimes the best thing to do was to brazenly and beautifully be the freak everyone accused you of being?

I painted my nails and thought about her. The goth in me demanded they be black. The punk in me demanded that I not clean the edges. A black splattered mess on my fingers, sloppy and messy and so very true to who I am. 

Thank you, Vivienne Westwood for daring to let your creations and ideas and questions and demands be seen, be sold, and become art. Thank you for everything.

Answers

There were some questions I needed to be answered before I started my plan. Today I got those answers and I feel optimistic about things. The van's battery is working. My windows will roll down. Looks like the last round of car repair worked. 

It's been a week since Tinkerbell passed. I still think I see her out of the corner of my eye. I still anticipate her weight on my shoulder. The house is lonely without her.

Last Week of the Year

The year is quickly winding down. The holidays are over and things will begin again. Given that 2022 was pretty awful, I would love to say I'm ready for it to begone. The problem is, I've reason to believe this next year will be worse, so, as always, I'm a little bit nervous about it.

What do I want out of the new year? I want my plan to work. I have a plan. I'm not ready to talk about it, but I have one. I want it to work. I want us to be safe. I want us to have good days and better days. I want us to accomplish the rather meager household goals we have. 

I think most of all I just want to live life without trepidation for a while. Things have gotten so scary. We deserve better than scary. I want things to be peaceful and secure and decent. 

Things have been scary for a while now. They need to calm down and let us rest. We, all of us, need rest and restoration. This is all just being too much.

A Good Holiday

My birthday was great! I stayed at home. Friends came to visit me. It was lowkey and wonderful. 

Christmas was also very good. We mostly just talked. We had a very good holiday dinner. It was nice.

There are two factors in all of this that caused issues. The first is that it is SO cold. It was better today, but in the days before, it was so very, very cold. 

The other issue, of course, is Tinkerbell. I miss her so much. It's difficult to adjust to her not being on my shoulder or sitting on my table. It's difficult to eat or drink something and not have her begging for it. I miss her energy. 

I miss her companionship. I miss the constant disagreement we had about where she should be sitting or how she should be digging her claws into me or why she has to block my view of my computer screen. I miss all of her quirks and plans and demands. She was so important to me and it hurts that she's gone. 

SO Cold

It got down to basically 1° last night and WOW it was cold. It was cold this morning too, but it got warmer. I think we hit a balmy 14° and that made such a difference.

BY THE WAY, I just got unlazy enough to Google how to make degree symbols. And now I will do it all the time. You do it by pressing down the Alt key and then typing 0176 on your numeric keyboard. 

Also I'm turning 49 tomorrow.