It seems that people are getting rather upset that mass shootings are being blamed on men (you know, the people who do them) and have decided that the rest of us need to be kinder. In fact, someone on Facebook posted that in the same way it is emotional abuse to keep pointing at a kid and telling them everything is their fault, it is abusive to men as a group for them to be blamed for doing the thing that some of them did. Uggh.
Okay, three things.
First thing. No one is blaming ALL the men. We all know they all haven't gone and shot up people. However, enough of them have done this to where it is clearly a problem that needs to be addressed.
Second thing, to expand on the analogy, no you should not blame your kid for all the social ills in the world or even all the things going wrong in your life or household. However, if your kid is consistently breaking the toys of other children because those children won't play with them or play in a way they don't like or are playing with toys they think only THEY should be allowed to have, then YES, you should say something to your kid about their behavior.
Third, and this is the one that sets my teeth on edge, where in the fuck was this 'let's be kind and not place blame' attitude when the people being blamed were women or POCs or the poor or LGBT+ or any other group besides men? And let's be clear here, the person who posted this was not thinking about men of color or gay men or men who weren't Christians. She was thinking about her cis straight white middle-class sons and worried people weren't being nice to them.
You know, I revise my opinion here. Somewhat. The adult men who decide to kill people are to blame for their actions, but the parents who set them down this path of entitlement and spoiled behavior share some of the blame.
Thursday, August 8, 2019
Tuesday, August 6, 2019
Seeing
And so on top of having glasses, I now also have readers. I guess this makes sense. My last eye appointment was traumatic and unhelpful. The glasses I got from it sucked. They work at distances when I'm driving. Well, most of the time. They suck at me trying to see anything up close.
So now I have readers. My roommate got me the second weakest ones. They make me slightly woozy when I try to look up or if I try to look at the computer. Honestly, I can mostly just use them to read. Still, that's helpful in reading the smaller print stuff.
Do I feel old about it? I mean, no more than any of the other stuff. No more than the gray hair or the stiff joints or the saggy tits. I'm in my 40s. People get readers.
The important thing is I can read the little squiggles again.
So now I have readers. My roommate got me the second weakest ones. They make me slightly woozy when I try to look up or if I try to look at the computer. Honestly, I can mostly just use them to read. Still, that's helpful in reading the smaller print stuff.
Do I feel old about it? I mean, no more than any of the other stuff. No more than the gray hair or the stiff joints or the saggy tits. I'm in my 40s. People get readers.
The important thing is I can read the little squiggles again.
Monday, August 5, 2019
Do Not Argue on Facebook
This is one of my basic rules in my life. I do not argue with people on Facebook. It works with my philosophy of trying to set up good habits for myself by doing nothing. I excel at doing nothing.
There are days when it is HARD to do nothing though. Today was one of those days. People are posting all kinds of idiotic stuff about the shootings. It's because of no prayer in school. It's because of homosexuality. It's because of feminism.
NO BITCHES! NO!
These were adults. These were adult men who decided to kill people. They made the choice to do this. They pulled the triggers. They wrote the manifestos. They planned out their killing. They did it. It is their fault. You cannot blame society on the actions of people who just so happen to be discontented with how that society is going. It's working for most everyone else. Just because you're not getting every little bitty thing you think you're entitled to get doesn't mean you can slide your blame to someone else.
I did not say this on Facebook. I did not argue with people. I focused on other posts and talked about glitter instead. I managed to do nothing, even though it was difficult.
There are days when it is HARD to do nothing though. Today was one of those days. People are posting all kinds of idiotic stuff about the shootings. It's because of no prayer in school. It's because of homosexuality. It's because of feminism.
NO BITCHES! NO!
These were adults. These were adult men who decided to kill people. They made the choice to do this. They pulled the triggers. They wrote the manifestos. They planned out their killing. They did it. It is their fault. You cannot blame society on the actions of people who just so happen to be discontented with how that society is going. It's working for most everyone else. Just because you're not getting every little bitty thing you think you're entitled to get doesn't mean you can slide your blame to someone else.
I did not say this on Facebook. I did not argue with people. I focused on other posts and talked about glitter instead. I managed to do nothing, even though it was difficult.
Sunday, August 4, 2019
And Again
There was another mass shooting in less than 24 hours after the last one. This is the 3rd mass shooting in the past week. While these acts of assholish violence were accomplished by guns, the guns themselves are not the problem. It could have been a car or a bomb or anything else they could get their hands on.
I honestly don't even know what needs to be done here. This is insane.
I honestly don't even know what needs to be done here. This is insane.
Saturday, August 3, 2019
Once Again
So there was another shooting. Again. This time at a Walmart in El Passo, Texas. Again, the shooter was a man. Again, it's another angry little fucker who can't control his emotions and has to throw a fit so that everyone can see how angry he is.
Again, people will focus on the weapon or his race or his politics or his religion or his state of mental health or anything else that suits them besides the one truly common factor involved in most (not all, but most) instances of mass violence.
Gender. GENDER GENDER GENDER.
Men do this. Almost always, men do this. Men of all races, all religions, all political ideals, all levels of mental stability. Men are the ones who think people need to pay attention to their state of unhappiness because they can't get dates/jobs/people to follow their religion/hugs/etc. MEN.
If we want to end this kind of mass violence, it's going to start with ending whatever disconnect we're teaching men that allows them to think it's okay for them to kill a bunch of people just because they're mad about something. We're either going to have to teach them or something more drastic.
Again, people will focus on the weapon or his race or his politics or his religion or his state of mental health or anything else that suits them besides the one truly common factor involved in most (not all, but most) instances of mass violence.
Gender. GENDER GENDER GENDER.
Men do this. Almost always, men do this. Men of all races, all religions, all political ideals, all levels of mental stability. Men are the ones who think people need to pay attention to their state of unhappiness because they can't get dates/jobs/people to follow their religion/hugs/etc. MEN.
If we want to end this kind of mass violence, it's going to start with ending whatever disconnect we're teaching men that allows them to think it's okay for them to kill a bunch of people just because they're mad about something. We're either going to have to teach them or something more drastic.
Friday, August 2, 2019
Rolling Ones
I lined up some books to read after the last series. Unfortunately, they're in actual book form and the print is too small for me to see. I mean, I can SEE it, just not well enough to read without a headache. Uggh. In the meantime,I'm catching up with other stuff I needed to see/watch/listen to.
The weather is being awful. It's technically cooler than it was two days ago, but the humidity is so high it feels worse. Tinkerbell Cat is sitting right beside me, breathing her hot breath on me and keeping at least one paw on me at all times. I somehow doubt I'll get this treatment this winter when it will be useful. One can hope though.
The weather is being awful. It's technically cooler than it was two days ago, but the humidity is so high it feels worse. Tinkerbell Cat is sitting right beside me, breathing her hot breath on me and keeping at least one paw on me at all times. I somehow doubt I'll get this treatment this winter when it will be useful. One can hope though.
Thursday, August 1, 2019
Compliments
I saw this article about 'why we should all stop ____" and I'll be honest here. I don't like stuff like that. I know that people are trying to NOT point fingers by making it a general 'we' but no one is fooled. Everyone feels condescended to. Oh and also, no one likes being told what to do.
Yeah and to be honest, I've probably made posts like that in the past, but I'm going to try to not do that anymore. It's bad communication. Instead, I'm going to give you a bit of my own personal self-discovery.
The article in question was what everyone should stop complimenting people when they lose weight. The points were solid, but, again, the article felt like it was lecturing people, maybe even over something they don't do or never did with bad intentions. Anyway, this is why I, as just a general person, will no longer do this.
When I was younger, I would, like basically everyone else around me, compliment people when they lost weight. I have no idea what their motives were. Mine were simple. I did not want to look bitter. This person lost weight, I had not lost weight, and I did not want to look like a spiteful little bitch who took that personally. So really, my motivation had nothing to do with anyone but me. That isn't a good motivation.
I think I started to turn around on this when I would listen to my grandmother talk about how she commented on people's weight loss. She ALWAYS told me about it, because, of course, she thought that was encouraging me to lose weight (it wasn't) and would do so in the smuggest and haughty way. "Oh, I saw Random Woman and she's lost weight. I went up to her and told her how much I LOVED the New Her." I'm a little shocked Gramma didn't tell her how much she disliked the Old Her, but even she had a small bit of tact. Just a small one though.
It was all I could do to keep from rolling my eyes when she would tell these stories. Gramma wasn't really complimenting the other person either. She was taking it personally that they lost weight while I had failed to and used this as a moment to wedge in a chance to talk to me about my failures. Again, not really a compliment.
See, for me, this is a situation where the motive is important. I tend to run my mouth and assume whatever I'm saying is for the best, but honestly, is it? There are a lot of things I've tried to unlearn over the years and it's a constant process. If I compliment someone, I want to make sure my reasons are about them, not me. And it isn't about people being too sensitive or easily offended or whatever. This is about me wanting to be a better communicator, a more responsible communicator. Oh look, it's still about me. Jeez.
Yeah and to be honest, I've probably made posts like that in the past, but I'm going to try to not do that anymore. It's bad communication. Instead, I'm going to give you a bit of my own personal self-discovery.
The article in question was what everyone should stop complimenting people when they lose weight. The points were solid, but, again, the article felt like it was lecturing people, maybe even over something they don't do or never did with bad intentions. Anyway, this is why I, as just a general person, will no longer do this.
When I was younger, I would, like basically everyone else around me, compliment people when they lost weight. I have no idea what their motives were. Mine were simple. I did not want to look bitter. This person lost weight, I had not lost weight, and I did not want to look like a spiteful little bitch who took that personally. So really, my motivation had nothing to do with anyone but me. That isn't a good motivation.
I think I started to turn around on this when I would listen to my grandmother talk about how she commented on people's weight loss. She ALWAYS told me about it, because, of course, she thought that was encouraging me to lose weight (it wasn't) and would do so in the smuggest and haughty way. "Oh, I saw Random Woman and she's lost weight. I went up to her and told her how much I LOVED the New Her." I'm a little shocked Gramma didn't tell her how much she disliked the Old Her, but even she had a small bit of tact. Just a small one though.
It was all I could do to keep from rolling my eyes when she would tell these stories. Gramma wasn't really complimenting the other person either. She was taking it personally that they lost weight while I had failed to and used this as a moment to wedge in a chance to talk to me about my failures. Again, not really a compliment.
See, for me, this is a situation where the motive is important. I tend to run my mouth and assume whatever I'm saying is for the best, but honestly, is it? There are a lot of things I've tried to unlearn over the years and it's a constant process. If I compliment someone, I want to make sure my reasons are about them, not me. And it isn't about people being too sensitive or easily offended or whatever. This is about me wanting to be a better communicator, a more responsible communicator. Oh look, it's still about me. Jeez.
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