Analogies

It seems that people are getting rather upset that mass shootings are being blamed on men (you know, the people who do them) and have decided that the rest of us need to be kinder. In fact, someone on Facebook posted that in the same way it is emotional abuse to keep pointing at a kid and telling them everything is their fault, it is abusive to men as a group for them to be blamed for doing the thing that some of them did. Uggh.

Okay, three things.

First thing. No one is blaming ALL the men. We all know they all haven't gone and shot up people. However, enough of them have done this to where it is clearly a problem that needs to be addressed.

Second thing, to expand on the analogy, no you should not blame your kid for all the social ills in the world or even all the things going wrong in your life or household. However, if your kid is consistently breaking the toys of other children because those children won't play with them or play in a way they don't like or are playing with toys they think only THEY should be allowed to have, then YES, you should say something to your kid about their behavior.

Third, and this is the one that sets my teeth on edge, where in the fuck was this 'let's be kind and not place blame' attitude when the people being blamed were women or POCs or the poor or LGBT+ or any other group besides men? And let's be clear here, the person who posted this was not thinking about men of color or gay men or men who weren't Christians. She was thinking about her cis straight white middle-class sons and worried people weren't being nice to them.

You know, I revise my opinion here. Somewhat. The adult men who decide to kill people are to blame for their actions, but the parents who set them down this path of entitlement and spoiled behavior share some of the blame.