Deconstructing Life

Someone posted on FB today about how often what mental health therapists do is to help you find workarounds for your issues. The example they used was that if you feel too overwhelmed to make a sandwich, instead of not eating, just eat the components of the sandwich. Eat some lunch meat and some cheese. Maybe a piece of bread or a cracker. That way you don't have to let what is overwhelming you get in the way of maintaining a basic existence.

One of the big issues with mental health problems is that you can get very overwhelmed by steps. Even things that seem easy, almost automatic to normal-typical/functioning minds can be daunting to people with disabilities.

For example, going outside is daunting to me. In the last several years, I've had some falls while trying to navigate getting myself inside, falls that caused lasting damage.

So anytime I'm trying to get to the car (or someone else's car), have some pretty serious anxiety. If I let it, it could freeze me.

What I've done to try to combat this is do my best to ease all the steps around getting outside. My keys/purse/phone/shoes always stay in the same place. I mentally coach myself from one spot to the next.

I stop to sit before going outside, both to regain energy and to steady my growing nerves. I take some deep breaths, say a little prayer, then do my best to make it to the car.

And in this way, yes, it seems like I've made something most people take for granted into an overly complicated thing. I haven't though. I've created a gameplan to keep myself from freezing or going into a panic attack. I've taken steps to keep myself from complete agoraphobia. So far, it's working.

If your mental health is preventing you from doing some stuff you know you NEED to do, see how maybe you can either ease some steps of it or just simplify the process completely. It may help. 

Conflicting Levels of Need

I was watching a video about a guy who was talking about how he and his deaf friend watch movies together. His friend needs the captions on, but he, personally, has ADHD and can't make himself NOT focus on the captions, which often ruins scenes for him because he is reading instead of watching. It makes the movies difficult for him, but he said it was okay because he wanted to spend time with his friend and he wanted his friend to enjoy the movie. Also, while he can function and watch the movie with just a little inconvenience, his friend couldn't understand the movie at all without the captions.

A lot of the time, people with physical/mental/whathaveyou needs are drawn to each other. Often it's because this is where they can find the most acceptance. However, within these friendships, conflict can happen due to how needs play out, as in the given situation above.

I think it's important for us (yes, I include me), to always be mindful of the needs of those around us. If you're the person who can maybe give a little in the given situation, you should do so. I mean, don't let people take advantage of you, but keep in mind that sometimes one need is greater than the other.

Also, as the person I talked about above did, think about what is most important to you. In his case, it was enjoying the movies with his friend. Let what is most important motivate you. It will make you more proactive in the situation and less resentful of whatever inconveniences you have to experience.

Pretty Decent Day

I did the audio for the next chapter in my series. I'm in the process of editing it now. Hopefully, if the computer is nice and exports correctly, I'll have it out by tomorrow. It isn't the most complicated video I've done, but it has the best thumbnail so far.

It was cooler today and I never exactly felt stabby. I think maybe it will be cool enough to sleep well tonight. YAY!

Hot Complaining

It was the kind of hot today that just knocks all the energy out of you. I feel half-dead and all I did was fold some clothes. I have a friend who just sat at her computer and wrote for a while and felt like she'd never recover. Summer is only half-way over and it's already killing us.

Speaking of killing us, Walmart's mask policy went into effect today. Hopefully, people won't be dicks about it. Mask it or casket, people.

Complexities

There were some aspects of my new keyboard that weren't working and I didn't understand why. Last night I didn't even bother with it because after all the fuckery of the Windows Update from Hell, I just couldn't bring myself to mess with it.

Today, I literally had to watch a video over installing the software. Mind you, if they gotta do a video about the installation, I'm probably not the only human having issues with it. The issue is, the software comes in several downloads. They all connect to each other in a slightly different way. Four of them have to have serial numbers. Three of the serial numbers involve yet another download to access the place to install them. The you have to connect all this stuff together and make it talk to each other.

Right now, I have about 90% percent of it correct. I still have to redo one install because I didn't quite understand what I needed to do, but I think I have that figured out now, so it will be fine.

THE IMPORTANT THING IS, I can now access all my drum kits and actually hear them (even if the program thinks they're being played on generic windows speakers, but that's because of the update fuckery). Anyway, progress!

I mean, I get that I bought myself a rather complicated machine and it's going to take me some time and effort to get to where I'm comfortable with it. I knew that going in. I just didn't realize how complicated just getting everything to talk to each other would be. Jeez.

The Update that Makes it Worse

Windows Feature update hit my computer today and screwed up my sound. My headphones are working, but they don't seem as loud as they did. I don't know what this is. Hopefully it will be fixed and patched. I need my sound. I use it too much.

Anyway, beyond that, it wasn't a bad day. I ate an amazing peach.

The New Fan

I got my new fan today! It's beautiful. It's also metal, which means it produces a lot more air than the last one did.

Mind you, I will miss my old fan. For now, it's retiring to the back room, but it was never that great of a fan. Then again, I've had it since I was in college. It deserves some retirement time.

The new one was a bitch to put together. It ended up requiring both of us. I think our eyesight is so bad now we're like the three witches who only have one eye between them. Hah!