A lot of professional programs of study require classes over the philosophy and ethics of that specific field. If you are going to be a doctor, you take a class over the ethical issues of what it means to be a doctor. This covers a lot of what is discussed in the oath that doctors take and it should serve as a guide to how they conduct their professional lives. Honestly, I think there are a lot of professions that should require classes like this.
Above all professions that should do this, however, you would think that spiritual leaders would try to work within a certain code of ethics and behaviors. After all, they are there to not only serve their deity and their followers, but also act as an example of how people should live and behave. Is this always possible? No. It's something to try and keep in mind though. This is especially true when other people may get hurt in the process.
Working as wait staff is never easy. More often than not, you get paid well below minimum wage and depend on tips to make up the difference. When you are stiffed on a tip, there is very little you can do about it. However, when the person who stiffed you leaves some asshole message, at least you can get a little revenge by posting their stupidity on the internet.
A waitress at Applebee's had this happen to her. She had to deal with a party of 8, which means that there is an automatic gratuity of 18%. She goes to get her tip and finds this written on the bill.
Okay, first of all, the Bible says you should tithe 10% of what you have. That is very different that tipping a waitress 18% of a bill. She has been serving you drinks and getting you bread and answering your questions and dealing with you the whole time you were there. The two things have absolutely nothing to do with each other. And, as always, if paying a tip is a hardship for you, then it's probably best that you stay home and eat a sandwich or something. Save your money.
The madness doesn't stop there though. The pastor found out about the waitress posting the bill online and got angry about it. The pastor, Alois Bell, felt all hurt and insulted that this had been posted. She said it made her heart ache and she called the waitress's manager to complain. The poor waitress got fired over this, though I'm not really sure why.
So, this pastor not only wrote a shitty note to someone who was just trying to do their job and get compensation for it, but she also caused this woman to get fired. She did harm. She caused ripples that will probably have a lot of negative affects on this woman's life. If she didn't want to tip her, she could have just NOT tipped her. She didn't have to write snide stuff on the bill.
The worst part about this, at least as far as I am concerned, is that Bell represents this entitled religious professional that seems to believe they are exempt from the rules that apply to every day people. "No, I don't have to pay that tip, I'm a pastor." "No, I shouldn't have to park in the back, I'm a pastor." "No, I shouldn't get called out on my behavior. I'm a pastor." When things don't go as they expect, they take it as an attack against their religious beliefs. Listen, get a clue. People aren't annoyed with you because of religion. People are annoyed with you because you're being an asshole.
There is a part of the oath that doctors take that I think should be in the ethical considerations of most professional people. "Do no harm." Whatever you do, when you make decisions about how to conduct yourself and how to portray yourself as a professional, make sure that what you are doing isn't harming other people. Pastor Bell would have done very well to have this as part of her code of ethics. She did harm to her own reputation, to her cause, to her ministry, and to this waitress. She did harm. She did needless harm.
Thursday, January 31, 2013
Wednesday, January 30, 2013
The THING
I'm going through A THING right now. It's a very serious THING that was unexpected, is confusing, and may potentially cause a lot of havoc in my future. I'm not ready to talk about it in the blog in an official sense, because I really don't know how the THING is going to resolve itself . . . if, indeed, it even can. I'm doing research on the THING and I've talked to some people in the know. Or, at least they are usually in the know. The THING is kind of uncharted territory even for them, so I'm not really getting any answers. I will tell you this. It's not a health issue. Don't worry that I'm going to die on you.
Well, okay, I say that it isn't a health issue, but in some ways, it really is becoming that. The THING is so scary to me that it's stressing me out and keeping me from getting anything resembling decent sleep. It's altering my eating patterns and causing me to have a lot of panic attacks. It is doing damage to my health, even though it isn't an official health issue in and of itself.
The reason I didn't blog last night was because this morning I went to meet with someone who I hoped could handle the paperwork portion of the THING. I was so nervous last night that I just sat here in front of the blog and couldn't write anything at all. When I went to the meeting today, I was shaking and couldn't speak without hearing my voice quiver. The worst part was, all I was told was that they couldn't help me with the THING and I would have to seek help in another place. All that stress for nothing.
I'm going to try and calm down about it. I need to be realistic and count my blessings. My roommate has been so super supportive and understanding. He's kept me calm when I would question if I was doing enough to resolve the situation and reminding me that things can only proceed as they will proceed. When something like this is happening, it helps to have a voice of reason.
When the THING is resolved, one way or the other, I'll talk about it on the blog. Until then, just understand that my crazier than usual posts have a reason behind them.
Well, okay, I say that it isn't a health issue, but in some ways, it really is becoming that. The THING is so scary to me that it's stressing me out and keeping me from getting anything resembling decent sleep. It's altering my eating patterns and causing me to have a lot of panic attacks. It is doing damage to my health, even though it isn't an official health issue in and of itself.
The reason I didn't blog last night was because this morning I went to meet with someone who I hoped could handle the paperwork portion of the THING. I was so nervous last night that I just sat here in front of the blog and couldn't write anything at all. When I went to the meeting today, I was shaking and couldn't speak without hearing my voice quiver. The worst part was, all I was told was that they couldn't help me with the THING and I would have to seek help in another place. All that stress for nothing.
I'm going to try and calm down about it. I need to be realistic and count my blessings. My roommate has been so super supportive and understanding. He's kept me calm when I would question if I was doing enough to resolve the situation and reminding me that things can only proceed as they will proceed. When something like this is happening, it helps to have a voice of reason.
When the THING is resolved, one way or the other, I'll talk about it on the blog. Until then, just understand that my crazier than usual posts have a reason behind them.
Monday, January 28, 2013
Serenity to Accept . . .
I was reading an article about how men and women view height in relationships in terms of it conveying a sense of masculinity/femininity. On a personal level, it's not something I've really thought that much about. I'm on the average of height for a woman. There are aspects about it that annoy me because there are a lot of things in the house that I can't reach. Other than that, it's never really affected me that much.
Of course, my body issues/perceptions have more to do with my size than my height. Having been fat most of my life, I tend to assume other people view their weight as a more pressing matter than how easy it is for them to see the top of the fridge. This is rather shortsighted of me, because the reality is, weight is something you can change. Height is harder to alter on a long term basis.
I've always liked the Serenity Prayer. No matter what beliefs you hold or don't hold, I think there is a lot of important stuff in that prayer. Having the courage to change what needs to be changed in your life is very important. Can you change in a state of fear? Yes. But if you've ever moved from one home to the next when you HAD to as opposed to when you just wanted to, you know that being forced to do something usually botches it up. Changing while in a state of fear usually has long lasting consequences. Changing when you are in a state of peace and courage means that you have control over what you are doing. You can plan it out and make sure things don't get worse.
In the grand scheme of things though, the stuff you can change is far easier than the stuff you can't. We can drive ourselves mad trying to change the unchangeable. We can waste our lives looking for solutions. We can waste all of our resources trying to alter our realities. In the end, we usually just waste what we had and accomplish nothing in the process. Accepting that some things in life cannot be altered, no matter how bad they are, is difficult to do. We are born problem solvers and most of the time, that is what gets us through the rough patches. Sometimes though, there is absolutely nothing we can do.
Throughout my life, I've hit that wall of acceptance many times. It's painful. I think it's even more painful because most of us are just egotistical enough to believe the rules don't REALLY apply to us. They do though. No, we magically won't get the boy we love. No, we won't keep our loved ones forever, even though we really do need them. Yes, our eyes really are this color.
Accepting that there is nothing you can do to change a situation can be very scary. It can be the most horrible, saddest, terrifying moment of your life. At the same time, it can also be the most liberating moment because you finally realize you don't have to fight this battle anymore. You can't do a damned thing to change the outcome.
When it comes to body image, a lot of people feel like those who promote self-acceptance are encouraging others to continue in unhealthy habits. "Oh, so you accept that you're fat now and you're okay with that? Great, you'll never lose weight." I have to admit, for a while, when you do finally accept yourself and begin to love yourself for the size you are at the moment, there is a time of indulgence where you just bask in that freedom.
But as you begin to love yourself more, you start wanting better for your life. You begin to alter habits, make better choices, see the places you can change. They might not alter the reality of the MOMENT, but they will alter it over time.
The last request in the Serenity Prayer is for the wisdom to know the difference between what we can change and what we can't. This is the most important part. This is where you learn to choose your battles and how to use your resources. After a while, you begin to see you can't just rage against the machine and never accomplish something. Grumble at it and turn away. Find a new path. After all, we may not be able to change certain things about our lives, but we always have the option of changing how we feel about these things.
Of course, my body issues/perceptions have more to do with my size than my height. Having been fat most of my life, I tend to assume other people view their weight as a more pressing matter than how easy it is for them to see the top of the fridge. This is rather shortsighted of me, because the reality is, weight is something you can change. Height is harder to alter on a long term basis.
I've always liked the Serenity Prayer. No matter what beliefs you hold or don't hold, I think there is a lot of important stuff in that prayer. Having the courage to change what needs to be changed in your life is very important. Can you change in a state of fear? Yes. But if you've ever moved from one home to the next when you HAD to as opposed to when you just wanted to, you know that being forced to do something usually botches it up. Changing while in a state of fear usually has long lasting consequences. Changing when you are in a state of peace and courage means that you have control over what you are doing. You can plan it out and make sure things don't get worse.
In the grand scheme of things though, the stuff you can change is far easier than the stuff you can't. We can drive ourselves mad trying to change the unchangeable. We can waste our lives looking for solutions. We can waste all of our resources trying to alter our realities. In the end, we usually just waste what we had and accomplish nothing in the process. Accepting that some things in life cannot be altered, no matter how bad they are, is difficult to do. We are born problem solvers and most of the time, that is what gets us through the rough patches. Sometimes though, there is absolutely nothing we can do.
Throughout my life, I've hit that wall of acceptance many times. It's painful. I think it's even more painful because most of us are just egotistical enough to believe the rules don't REALLY apply to us. They do though. No, we magically won't get the boy we love. No, we won't keep our loved ones forever, even though we really do need them. Yes, our eyes really are this color.
Accepting that there is nothing you can do to change a situation can be very scary. It can be the most horrible, saddest, terrifying moment of your life. At the same time, it can also be the most liberating moment because you finally realize you don't have to fight this battle anymore. You can't do a damned thing to change the outcome.
When it comes to body image, a lot of people feel like those who promote self-acceptance are encouraging others to continue in unhealthy habits. "Oh, so you accept that you're fat now and you're okay with that? Great, you'll never lose weight." I have to admit, for a while, when you do finally accept yourself and begin to love yourself for the size you are at the moment, there is a time of indulgence where you just bask in that freedom.
But as you begin to love yourself more, you start wanting better for your life. You begin to alter habits, make better choices, see the places you can change. They might not alter the reality of the MOMENT, but they will alter it over time.
The last request in the Serenity Prayer is for the wisdom to know the difference between what we can change and what we can't. This is the most important part. This is where you learn to choose your battles and how to use your resources. After a while, you begin to see you can't just rage against the machine and never accomplish something. Grumble at it and turn away. Find a new path. After all, we may not be able to change certain things about our lives, but we always have the option of changing how we feel about these things.
Sunday, January 27, 2013
Simple Dreams
I think if I could do anything with my life, in terms of living my life in a way that made me happy, it would be to live like a Glitch. I would want my own small space in the world, a small house filled with things I made myself, with plenty of storage and lots of open space . . . despite it being small.
I would like to have a yard that I filled with things that helped me to keep my life going. I would like to grow my own garden, harvest plants that I could store and use for times of the year when things wouldn't grow. I would like to have skills to make my own clothes. I would spend my days wandering through beautiful places, gathering the things I needed that didn't grow in my own yard.
Of course, I would also like to keep my computer, so I could blog and game and chat with people. This kind of doesn't jive with my simple little Glitch life. Maybe it does though. It would just be a matter of balance and priorities. You know, a computer in the corner of my simple little house. Perhaps I would put it by the window so I could type and look out at my garden. That might cause a glare though.
I would like to have a yard that I filled with things that helped me to keep my life going. I would like to grow my own garden, harvest plants that I could store and use for times of the year when things wouldn't grow. I would like to have skills to make my own clothes. I would spend my days wandering through beautiful places, gathering the things I needed that didn't grow in my own yard.
Of course, I would also like to keep my computer, so I could blog and game and chat with people. This kind of doesn't jive with my simple little Glitch life. Maybe it does though. It would just be a matter of balance and priorities. You know, a computer in the corner of my simple little house. Perhaps I would put it by the window so I could type and look out at my garden. That might cause a glare though.
Saturday, January 26, 2013
Knowledge Bases
Last time I saw my best friend's 8 yr old son, we were talking about clothing from the past. He had me read part of one of his history books about how kids during colonial times would hunt for the various berries used to dye fabric. We both thought this was neat, and I knew there was an even more important point that I want him (and everyone, really) to always keep in mind.
"Hey, so . . . these kids. They were taught what plants to pick in order to get the dyes, right?"
"Yeah," he said, as he walked from one side of the room to the other. "They knew the right berries to get."
"Would you know the berries?"
"No," he informed me, with a dramatic shake of his head. "No one has ever shown me."
"No, no one ever has. Mostly because we don't have to do that anymore. In fact, I'm not sure anyone you know could show you, because knowing that isn't in our primary knowledge banks. It's something you'd have to research."
After that, I told him how my grandfather could tell the kind of every tree and bird he saw without ever having to look it up. He could isolate and explain different types of grass in the yard. To me, it was always just grass. My grandmother knew every flower and could tell you tons about them. She knew how much sun they needed, how much water. She knew the best times to plant them and at what temp they needed to be brought into the house.
There is a tendency of the young to assume they are more sophisticated than the old. The young always assume they know more than their elders, mostly because they adapt to changes in technology and are more open to new ideas. The fact that some old person has to be taught how to use the newer phones or needs some time to grasp how to handle the remote control with 7000 buttons on it is quite bemusing to younger people. It was to me when I was young (old people couldn't work the VCR or use a mouse! Hah!). It probably was to my grandparents as well.
However, at any point that I begin to assume I'm so much wiser and less ignorant than those who came before me, I always have a humbling moment of clarity. I cannot name every kind of bird or tree just by looking at them. I don't know all the types of flowers and would probably only learn how to keep them alive via trial and error. My grandparents had a vast and useful knowledge base that I do not possess. What we know is quite often relative to what we need to know.
My friend's son plans to study the dyes of colonial times and learn what plants were used. He is doing this because he has an interest in domestic history. I would like to learn about flowers, because I've started to think that once my current family of cats is no longer around, I should take a break from the heartache of losing pets and see what kind of green thumb my grandmother may have passed on to me.
My grandmother may have never figured out how to check her email, but she knew many things that are useful to basic survival. She knew far more than I do, and I have to admit that my knowledge base has a lot of uselessness. After all, knowing how to grow a garden will always be more practical than my nifty VCR skills.
If anything, I want to approach people and their wealth of knowledge with respect. We can learn from everyone. Being snide about what someone else can teach us will only further our ignorance.
"Hey, so . . . these kids. They were taught what plants to pick in order to get the dyes, right?"
"Yeah," he said, as he walked from one side of the room to the other. "They knew the right berries to get."
"Would you know the berries?"
"No," he informed me, with a dramatic shake of his head. "No one has ever shown me."
"No, no one ever has. Mostly because we don't have to do that anymore. In fact, I'm not sure anyone you know could show you, because knowing that isn't in our primary knowledge banks. It's something you'd have to research."
After that, I told him how my grandfather could tell the kind of every tree and bird he saw without ever having to look it up. He could isolate and explain different types of grass in the yard. To me, it was always just grass. My grandmother knew every flower and could tell you tons about them. She knew how much sun they needed, how much water. She knew the best times to plant them and at what temp they needed to be brought into the house.
There is a tendency of the young to assume they are more sophisticated than the old. The young always assume they know more than their elders, mostly because they adapt to changes in technology and are more open to new ideas. The fact that some old person has to be taught how to use the newer phones or needs some time to grasp how to handle the remote control with 7000 buttons on it is quite bemusing to younger people. It was to me when I was young (old people couldn't work the VCR or use a mouse! Hah!). It probably was to my grandparents as well.
However, at any point that I begin to assume I'm so much wiser and less ignorant than those who came before me, I always have a humbling moment of clarity. I cannot name every kind of bird or tree just by looking at them. I don't know all the types of flowers and would probably only learn how to keep them alive via trial and error. My grandparents had a vast and useful knowledge base that I do not possess. What we know is quite often relative to what we need to know.
My friend's son plans to study the dyes of colonial times and learn what plants were used. He is doing this because he has an interest in domestic history. I would like to learn about flowers, because I've started to think that once my current family of cats is no longer around, I should take a break from the heartache of losing pets and see what kind of green thumb my grandmother may have passed on to me.
My grandmother may have never figured out how to check her email, but she knew many things that are useful to basic survival. She knew far more than I do, and I have to admit that my knowledge base has a lot of uselessness. After all, knowing how to grow a garden will always be more practical than my nifty VCR skills.
If anything, I want to approach people and their wealth of knowledge with respect. We can learn from everyone. Being snide about what someone else can teach us will only further our ignorance.
Thursday, January 24, 2013
The Same Annoyances
I'm so frustrated with the Republican party today. Okay, I'm frustrated with it on most days, but today it really disappointed me. First of all, a Republican in New Mexico tried to pass legislation that would make abortion after a rape or incest a felony because it destroyed evidence of a crime. I hope this woman feels me rolling my eyes from here. Seriously? Tampering with evidence? Is there some way in which the rapist can't be determined by looking at the aborted tissue? It's not like they flush these things down the toilet.
It also seems that many states are trying to get laws passed to where electoral votes are dolled out according to congressional districts and not just on a state by state basis. The GOP feels that this will cause them to win elections from now on, instead of other people winning. Now granted, they would have won the last election had this been the case, but that's not to say it would ever work in the future.
What frustrates me about both of these examples is that they are underhanded and lazy. It's underhanded to try and pass laws just to get your way. Laws, and this goes for both parties and all various groups of crazies concerned, should be passed to benefit all people in the country, not just you and your group. They should be designed with the principles of this nation and reflect the ideas of freedom and our Constitution.
As far as the lazy part of this is concerned, I think in both of these cases, a lot of mental laziness is happening. Many other countries have legal abortion and yet have far fewer abortions happening. Why is that? Has this been studied by the anti-choice people? Have any of you sat down and thought about the fact that 40 years after Roe vs. Wade, 7 your tactics aren't working? Have you considered maybe you're going about this all wrong?
As far as the GOP and winning elections is concerned, passing laws to make it easier for you to win is just lazy to the core. If you want to win elections, take a good, honest, hard look at what you are saying and how look. Decide what is truly important to you and start asking yourselves what you are willing to let go of to get the big important stuff accomplished. Oh. And stop letting your crazies talk. That would help a lot.
What the GOP needs is more people to vote in its direction. You're not going to get those voters by doing underhanded and lazy things. It won't happen. You need to start accepting the fact that people didn't vote for Obama because they thought he would give them free stuff. People voted for Obama because they didn't trust Romney and all their conservative Facebook friends were annoying.
It also seems that many states are trying to get laws passed to where electoral votes are dolled out according to congressional districts and not just on a state by state basis. The GOP feels that this will cause them to win elections from now on, instead of other people winning. Now granted, they would have won the last election had this been the case, but that's not to say it would ever work in the future.
What frustrates me about both of these examples is that they are underhanded and lazy. It's underhanded to try and pass laws just to get your way. Laws, and this goes for both parties and all various groups of crazies concerned, should be passed to benefit all people in the country, not just you and your group. They should be designed with the principles of this nation and reflect the ideas of freedom and our Constitution.
As far as the lazy part of this is concerned, I think in both of these cases, a lot of mental laziness is happening. Many other countries have legal abortion and yet have far fewer abortions happening. Why is that? Has this been studied by the anti-choice people? Have any of you sat down and thought about the fact that 40 years after Roe vs. Wade, 7 your tactics aren't working? Have you considered maybe you're going about this all wrong?
As far as the GOP and winning elections is concerned, passing laws to make it easier for you to win is just lazy to the core. If you want to win elections, take a good, honest, hard look at what you are saying and how look. Decide what is truly important to you and start asking yourselves what you are willing to let go of to get the big important stuff accomplished. Oh. And stop letting your crazies talk. That would help a lot.
What the GOP needs is more people to vote in its direction. You're not going to get those voters by doing underhanded and lazy things. It won't happen. You need to start accepting the fact that people didn't vote for Obama because they thought he would give them free stuff. People voted for Obama because they didn't trust Romney and all their conservative Facebook friends were annoying.
Wednesday, January 23, 2013
The Lessons of Walking Away and How it Makes me a Better Writer
My roommate and I recently had a long talk about TV shows and if we planned to continue watching them. In a couple of cases, we decided we were tired of the current season and would pick it up in the next season (this only works well with reality shows). Other shows, well, we're just dropping them completely. I would like to say I'm sad, but I'm not. It was getting to the point where watching these shows was just painful.
It's an important thing for me to think about as a writer. What goes wrong with long term storylines that forces me to walk away? Worse, what goes wrong that makes me just not care anymore? It's something to seriously consider.
1. PLOT PACING
There is a delicate balance when constructing a plot. You need to be able to make the plot move in a way that keeps your audience feeling there is progress, but not move it so quickly that they feel blindsided by it. Plot needs to be established early and revisited often. Will other things be going on? Of course. But the plot always needs to be there. The stories need to weave into the plot and once the plot reaches its climax, it needs to make enough sense and have enough impact that the audience feels it was worthwhile.
2. BACK STORY IS IMPORTANT, BUT IT'S NOT THE SHOW.
I love back stories. I love flashbacks. I love it when a story has depth and range and aspects that happened years ago that still affect what is currently going on. Having said that, there are shows I stopped watching because the flashbacks became more important than the current time. If the current timeline is just a backdrop for what has happened in the past, it's not going to keep my attention . . . not unless it is very well done.
3. GOOD CHARACTERS AREN'T ENOUGH
It is vital to have good characters. It is equally vital to have a good plot. People will stick with characters they love for a while, but only for a while. If said characters are just milling around in meaningless actions and babbling one-liners at each other, people will walk away.
4. UNDERSTAND YOUR CHARACTERS AND HAVE THEM REACT IN A REALISTIC WAY.
If you're going to write something, you need to really understand who you're writing about. Characters should have depth and realness to them. You need to understand them. You need to know what really drives them, what they fear, what they will not tolerate, and who they are. It is important to always keep this information in mind when you write them. Don't base a plot point around your character doing something they would never reasonably do.
5. WHILE IT IS IMPORTANT TO GIVE YOUR AUDIENCE A SENSE OF MYSTERY AND HINT AT MORE THINGS TO COME, DO NOT KEEP WITHHOLDING THESE THINGS FOREVER.
I can't tell you the number of shows I have walked away from just because the mystery aspects of it came off as 'this is really convoluted and the writers have no idea what is going on.' While you can't just lay out the whole plot from episode/chapter one, you do need to begin to unfold it within the plot. This requires something very important. YOU HAVE TO KNOW WHAT THE MYSTERIES ARE. You can't just make them up as you go along. You need to know everyone's secrets and know where all the bodies are hidden. If you don't, rest assured that others will soon realize you don't.
6. DON'T KEEP REPEATING THE SAME CONFLICT AND RESOLUTION OVER AND OVER AGAIN.
My favorite Harry Potter book is The Prisoner of Azkaban because in my mind, it is the least formulaic of Rowling's novels. Instead of Harry and co. wondering around only to find Voldemort at the end of the plot, things took a different turn. Harry found out a lot of stuff about his family and the generation before him, saved the day, and only won in the most bittersweet kind of way. While things had ties to Voldemort, it wasn't directly about him. It wasn't the usual predictable stuff.
People will get tired of your characters just repeating the same series of steps over and over again, especially if they continue to react the same way. There needs to be variation. There needs to be consideration. Most of all, there needs to be character growth.
All of this is by no means the only reasons I stopped watching shows, but they have a lot to do with it. I guess if I have to boil it down to just one thing, it's this . . . don't betray your writing. When you betray your writing . . . your plot, your characters, your idea . . . you are not only betraying yourself, you're betraying your audience. An audience will forgive a lot of things, but they will not forgive being betrayed. It's the one thing that will turn them off not just from your current project, but any other project you may have in the future.
It's an important thing for me to think about as a writer. What goes wrong with long term storylines that forces me to walk away? Worse, what goes wrong that makes me just not care anymore? It's something to seriously consider.
1. PLOT PACING
There is a delicate balance when constructing a plot. You need to be able to make the plot move in a way that keeps your audience feeling there is progress, but not move it so quickly that they feel blindsided by it. Plot needs to be established early and revisited often. Will other things be going on? Of course. But the plot always needs to be there. The stories need to weave into the plot and once the plot reaches its climax, it needs to make enough sense and have enough impact that the audience feels it was worthwhile.
2. BACK STORY IS IMPORTANT, BUT IT'S NOT THE SHOW.
I love back stories. I love flashbacks. I love it when a story has depth and range and aspects that happened years ago that still affect what is currently going on. Having said that, there are shows I stopped watching because the flashbacks became more important than the current time. If the current timeline is just a backdrop for what has happened in the past, it's not going to keep my attention . . . not unless it is very well done.
3. GOOD CHARACTERS AREN'T ENOUGH
It is vital to have good characters. It is equally vital to have a good plot. People will stick with characters they love for a while, but only for a while. If said characters are just milling around in meaningless actions and babbling one-liners at each other, people will walk away.
4. UNDERSTAND YOUR CHARACTERS AND HAVE THEM REACT IN A REALISTIC WAY.
If you're going to write something, you need to really understand who you're writing about. Characters should have depth and realness to them. You need to understand them. You need to know what really drives them, what they fear, what they will not tolerate, and who they are. It is important to always keep this information in mind when you write them. Don't base a plot point around your character doing something they would never reasonably do.
5. WHILE IT IS IMPORTANT TO GIVE YOUR AUDIENCE A SENSE OF MYSTERY AND HINT AT MORE THINGS TO COME, DO NOT KEEP WITHHOLDING THESE THINGS FOREVER.
I can't tell you the number of shows I have walked away from just because the mystery aspects of it came off as 'this is really convoluted and the writers have no idea what is going on.' While you can't just lay out the whole plot from episode/chapter one, you do need to begin to unfold it within the plot. This requires something very important. YOU HAVE TO KNOW WHAT THE MYSTERIES ARE. You can't just make them up as you go along. You need to know everyone's secrets and know where all the bodies are hidden. If you don't, rest assured that others will soon realize you don't.
6. DON'T KEEP REPEATING THE SAME CONFLICT AND RESOLUTION OVER AND OVER AGAIN.
My favorite Harry Potter book is The Prisoner of Azkaban because in my mind, it is the least formulaic of Rowling's novels. Instead of Harry and co. wondering around only to find Voldemort at the end of the plot, things took a different turn. Harry found out a lot of stuff about his family and the generation before him, saved the day, and only won in the most bittersweet kind of way. While things had ties to Voldemort, it wasn't directly about him. It wasn't the usual predictable stuff.
People will get tired of your characters just repeating the same series of steps over and over again, especially if they continue to react the same way. There needs to be variation. There needs to be consideration. Most of all, there needs to be character growth.
All of this is by no means the only reasons I stopped watching shows, but they have a lot to do with it. I guess if I have to boil it down to just one thing, it's this . . . don't betray your writing. When you betray your writing . . . your plot, your characters, your idea . . . you are not only betraying yourself, you're betraying your audience. An audience will forgive a lot of things, but they will not forgive being betrayed. It's the one thing that will turn them off not just from your current project, but any other project you may have in the future.
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