I was reading an article about how men and women view height in relationships in terms of it conveying a sense of masculinity/femininity. On a personal level, it's not something I've really thought that much about. I'm on the average of height for a woman. There are aspects about it that annoy me because there are a lot of things in the house that I can't reach. Other than that, it's never really affected me that much.
Of course, my body issues/perceptions have more to do with my size than my height. Having been fat most of my life, I tend to assume other people view their weight as a more pressing matter than how easy it is for them to see the top of the fridge. This is rather shortsighted of me, because the reality is, weight is something you can change. Height is harder to alter on a long term basis.
I've always liked the Serenity Prayer. No matter what beliefs you hold or don't hold, I think there is a lot of important stuff in that prayer. Having the courage to change what needs to be changed in your life is very important. Can you change in a state of fear? Yes. But if you've ever moved from one home to the next when you HAD to as opposed to when you just wanted to, you know that being forced to do something usually botches it up. Changing while in a state of fear usually has long lasting consequences. Changing when you are in a state of peace and courage means that you have control over what you are doing. You can plan it out and make sure things don't get worse.
In the grand scheme of things though, the stuff you can change is far easier than the stuff you can't. We can drive ourselves mad trying to change the unchangeable. We can waste our lives looking for solutions. We can waste all of our resources trying to alter our realities. In the end, we usually just waste what we had and accomplish nothing in the process. Accepting that some things in life cannot be altered, no matter how bad they are, is difficult to do. We are born problem solvers and most of the time, that is what gets us through the rough patches. Sometimes though, there is absolutely nothing we can do.
Throughout my life, I've hit that wall of acceptance many times. It's painful. I think it's even more painful because most of us are just egotistical enough to believe the rules don't REALLY apply to us. They do though. No, we magically won't get the boy we love. No, we won't keep our loved ones forever, even though we really do need them. Yes, our eyes really are this color.
Accepting that there is nothing you can do to change a situation can be very scary. It can be the most horrible, saddest, terrifying moment of your life. At the same time, it can also be the most liberating moment because you finally realize you don't have to fight this battle anymore. You can't do a damned thing to change the outcome.
When it comes to body image, a lot of people feel like those who promote self-acceptance are encouraging others to continue in unhealthy habits. "Oh, so you accept that you're fat now and you're okay with that? Great, you'll never lose weight." I have to admit, for a while, when you do finally accept yourself and begin to love yourself for the size you are at the moment, there is a time of indulgence where you just bask in that freedom.
But as you begin to love yourself more, you start wanting better for your life. You begin to alter habits, make better choices, see the places you can change. They might not alter the reality of the MOMENT, but they will alter it over time.
The last request in the Serenity Prayer is for the wisdom to know the difference between what we can change and what we can't. This is the most important part. This is where you learn to choose your battles and how to use your resources. After a while, you begin to see you can't just rage against the machine and never accomplish something. Grumble at it and turn away. Find a new path. After all, we may not be able to change certain things about our lives, but we always have the option of changing how we feel about these things.
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