Switch Discoveries

I continue to notice a lot of differences now that I'm presenting as a male on my game. I knew there would be some differences, just based on the fact that I'd had so many issues with people while playing as a girl. Most of those had to do with people bothering me in a romantic way, and as well all know, I am a conscientious objector to such matters. As the game has progressed, I've noticed a lot more stuff.

• It is easier for me to function in multi-server situations. I can get the assistance I need just by asking. No one tells me no or tries to blow me off. 
• I am always thanked for my help. Always. That certainly didn't happen before.
• I am given a fun level of comradery with the opposing side on my server and always told we had a good battle.
• I can speak in commands "Go do this." "Change that." and no one complains I'm being bossy. They realize I'm making suggestions and helping them.
  

Now, here's the thing, in my real actual life, I am very much used to having all of these things happen. Anyone who actually knows me and plays games with me will do so in an entertaining way, that I'll do my best to be good at my character, that I'll offer help to others. But online, without seeing me, without hearing my voice and my tone, I find that people get an idea of someone different. In a weird way, the actual me is being accepted with this male persona far more than it was with a girl one. That has very little to do with me and more to do with how people think about women. 

Cat Update

Millie has finally stopped freaking out for half an hour when we come home. Before she would run around excitedly like she didn't expect us to return. Given that she was abandoned, this is understandable. The fact that she's not doing it suggests to me that she's gotten the idea that we will always come back home to her. That makes me happy. I want the kitties to be secure.

Tinkerbell, on the other hand, is used to nothing. She still hates Millie and hisses, growls, and screams at her any time the other cat comes near. It's sad because Millie LIKES other cats and wants to hang with Tink. In fact, at the moment, she's staring longing at her. Tink isn't looking in her direction and when she does, she still gets into Positions of Protest and stays there until the younger cat is out of her sight.

Camilla used to spend her evenings in my room in my basket of clothes. She was close enough to hear us talk and to look at my roommate, but she wasn't in the room with us. Now she usually hangs out on the floor at his feet or in the recliner near me. She's being part of the household group as a member of it.

Dodging the Jerkface

Tonight someone in the multiserver asked me to let them do some kills on my character. I was fine with this because I like this person. While we were going about our business, one of the major assholes in the game showed up and started killing her character. 

There is a 20 second breath time after you get killed where you can't get attacked again. This 20 seconds became a chase between me and Asshole about who could get to her first. If I did, she could kill me and get her points. If he did, he got the points. I was dodging that jerk like no one's business.

Either because I had a smaller mount and could see better, or just because I'm a plucky old lady when using mouse-foo, I was able to dodge him and let her get to me first. He killed her right after, but he didn't stop what we were trying to accomplish. I'm pretty sure said asshole is the guy who is on my server causing all the problems. Hopefully he'll get bored with us soon and go away.

February Sunday

My roommate and I completely forgot to run an errand yesterday so we ran it this morning. Everything went well, but the weather is grim and gray. It's honestly depressing and by the time we got home, we were both kind of down. In this way, I'm happy Millie is with us right now. She's very much a burst of energy and humor. It's nice to have that.

Overall, the day was quiet. I'm happy about that. I paid about as much attention to the sports as I ever do to the sports. It just isn't part of who I am. My game went well, even though we do have some really, really annoying people on the server now. I can stay out of it, mostly, because I'm not top dog. The new idiot on the block keeps trying to have a pissing contest with my Guild leader. He isn't happy about it.

The Indoctrination of Pleasing

I've not really talked much about the #metoo movement or anything doing with all of the things coming out of it. I've not shared my own experiences on Facebook or whatever because I don't feel the need to do so. I've felt a lot of anger about this, especially because so many people seem so willing to blame victims, make it about us versus them, and backseat drive about situations they have never been in.

This article, however, really seemed to hit the nail on the head about the whole situation. While the author does discuss it in a male/female perspective, I believe she's doing so in response to someone else who did. It isn't just about men and women. This is about a society that pits the pleasure of certain people over not just the pleasure of others, but over the comfort of others. It needs to stop.

As one of my favorite drag queens recently said, sex is really no more than a getting a good meal. Is it really worth harming someone else just to be fed?

Cold Again

The weather warmed up for a few days but now it's cooling down again. No one in my home is happy about this. All of us spent the evening kind of looking tired and out of it. My roommate and I had to go out twice today and then he had to chase down a neighbor's dog that had gotten out of its yard. By the time evening rolled around, we just kind of sat around quietly. The cats weren't much better.

I'm grateful my roommate still had the energy during the day to play with Camilla. It's cute to watch and I certainly don't feel up to letting her chase me around the house. They seem to have fun with it though. I think she's beginning to see him as the moon and stars.

The Kitten

Camilla is almost two years old . . . we think. She is, however, still very much a kitten. She has way more energy than any cat we've dealt with in years. In fact, even as I write this, she's banging on something in the kitchen. It's super annoying.

Today she jumped on top of one of the doors and tried to balance. She also likes to get on top of the . . . well, honestly, she likes to get as high as she can, as often as she can. This is also super annoying.

The main focus of her interest is Tinkerbell. She LOVES Tink. Tink hates her. Mind you, Tink hates most things, but she really, really hates the kitten. She growls in protest at that kitten like I've never seen her growl at anything. I believe she invented new noises to use when she makes her opinion known about Camilla's existence.

Yet, despite all this, I believe all three of us, yes, even including Tinkerbell, are happier that she is with us.