Friday Fall Betrayal

It was in the 90's today. It's supposed to be 95 degrees tomorrow. This is Fall and that is insane. It should be illegal. I should be getting out mah hoodies by now. I should be deciding which of mah hats I'm going to wear as the weather cools down. But no. Fall is betraying us.

You need to get with the program, Ms Fall.

Thursday Blues

It was foggy this morning and I was up early. I never really got my groove back after that. I've been down and twitchy for a few hours now. I'm hoping that sleep improves my mood. 

It's been a year since my Aunt died. My cousins are handling it as best they can. It isn't easy. The youngest is trying to find solace and blessing in the grieving process. The lawyer is managing her business and the oldest girl is trying to encourage mothers to make sure they're in pictures with their kids. Kids need pictures of them. The second born is keeping himself busy as possible and trying to just move forward. The oldest one lost his only daughter this year as well and he's doing his best to just stay sane. 

The grief and pain and chaos continue for most of the world. 

I had an old college roommate comment that I'd not been on FB that often. I mean, I really haven't. It's hard to be chipper when everything is as it is. Retreating and just working on myself has been the better path to sanity, even if I do have days like today. 

At least, on days like today, I know somewhat how to console myself. 

Wednesday Surprises

Trash Day is usually pretty chill and routine for us, but today things went sideways. My roommate's van had not one but TWO messed-up tires. I drove him to the fix-it place and then we waited around for a few hours for things to get handled.

In the midst of this, we paid bills and ran some other errands. For one, the mechanic didn't take forever. Almost no one was there when we dropped off the van. Usually, that place is seriously busy. 

Anyway, the day ended up being far more expensive than anticipated, but it's handled. CSI: Vegas returned tonight for the first time in years. I'm kind of wondering if that's a trend, just a bunch of shows canceled years ago being renewed for nostalgia reasons. 

Quiet Tuesday

I folded the towels today and did little else. Okay, that's not true. I listened to some stuff I needed to listen to and read an article about a project I may be working on in the nearish future. The cat came to visit me for a while, but she didn't stay long.

I'm discussing a book with my nephew. It isn't my favorite book in the world, but as people patiently listen to me and discuss my fandoms with me, I will do so with him. It's rewarding to listen to someone as they talk about what they love.

I'm trying to watch a movie and my brain just isn't letting me. I'll see how far I can get tonight. 

Strange Monday

There was a lot of weirdness today. Facebook was down for a considerable amount of hours, as were its associated apps. This also affected a lot of people's smart TVs and appliances as they go through their FB accounts to access them. I couldn't save on some of my games for the same reason.

In the same way that it disturbs me that we have to fund the government for three months at a time sometimes and have debt so massive it could crash the world, it disturbs me that we've allowed Facebook to worm its way into so many aspects of our lives. It also disturbs me that, like money and the government, it's doubtful anything will be done about it.

I folded clothes today and will probably do towels tomorrow. We've been discussing rearrangement of part of the living room and I may start on a bit of the organizing tomorrow unless that proves to be too annoying for everyone involved. We'll see. The whole thing is in no hurry.

Cracks

A lot of teachers are probably not going back to teaching past this year. A lot of nurses and other medical professionals are walking away from medicine. This is bad. These are some major cracks in the foundation of our society.

People aren't returning to minimum wage jobs. People aren't returning to thankless jobs. People aren't returning to essential worker jobs. This is also bad. 

However.....

While this sucks for everyone else, I think it's fair that people are leaving all of this. For years, people who work in these fields have been overworked, attacked, underpaid, criticized, neglected, and, in some cases, abused. No one should have to work that way. It's insane. 

Things need to change. We need to reframe how we view workers. We need to treat everyone with respect because all jobs are important. The chef making your meal may be brilliant and gifted, but that loses meaning if the table you're served on is dirty, buggy, and covered in someone else's dishes. The person who cleans that table is important too and should be treated as such. 

Does this mean things may get difficult and challenging for a while? Yes. But people deserve dignity and decent payment for the hours of their lives sacrificed to labor. 

Sabotage

Back at the first of September, I set a goal for myself. It was, to the reckoning of most people, a very small goal. Tiny. Teensy. For me, however, it was a starting point to regain something I've mostly lost. To regain this, I knew I needed to start in an itsy-bitsy way. Mostly though, I needed to start. I did preparation for this goal every day of September.

I spent most of today trying to talk myself out of it.

Whenever I would try to go start this new thing, my brain would go on hyper and bombard me with reasons as to why I shouldn't do it NOW. Reason after reason after reason. I spent the majority of the day warring with myself. I didn't accomplish my goal until almost 11 pm. I DID accomplish it, but it was one hell of a mental struggle.

Whatever is wrong with me, whatever is truly wrong with my life is whatever is causing that level of mental sabotage. I shouldn't have to fight myself this hard over something that was so minor most people wouldn't even pay attention to doing it.