Monday, December 5, 2022

The Conclusion of Krampusgate

 

  • My hometown is about 11,000 people.

  • It's in the Bible Belt and most in my town reflect this.

  • Every year, we have a Christmas parade.

  • This year, one of the businesses decided to feature Krampus.

  • Chaos.

  • Seriously, within hours of people finding out about this, there were chain texts going around, proclaiming that someone was going to be THE DEVIL at the parade.

  • The business's Facebook page had over 800 comments.

  • Lots of stuff about the Devil.

  • Lots of comments about how people should learn to use Google.

  • One woman commented that she suspected we were the town that Footloose was based on.

  • Of course, because of course, some people started making threats against the business.

  • And against the people who work there.

  • And against Krampus.

  • And probably against the Devil, but I'm not sure about that.

  • The mayor got involved.

  • On Facebook.

  • Sigh.

  • He said that he would ask them to not do this thing, but he couldn't stop them.

  • He assured everyone that the parade was about CHRISTmas and not the Devil.

  • Then he used Google and realized what Krampus was.

  • His post has been deleted.

  • People had had enough.

  • Songs were made up.

  • They're bringing Krampus back. And all the fundies don't know how to act.”

  • One of my friends invented a minion of Krampus that he named after our home town.

  • There is now a backstory and art.

  • We plan on making it a holiday.

  • When the parade happened, no one did anything violent.

  • Krampus was there. Most people just took pictures with him.

  • Someone commented that if you ignored the robe and the horns, he basically just looks like any other old dude in our town.

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