Continuing

I continue to progress post my surgery. I'm eating somewhat better and my talking is decent. I've been keeping a journal of daily progress, which is helping, I believe.

Spring is being odd. We've had some days of warm weather, but for the most part it's stayed pretty cold. We have the stove on right now. I'm sitting under a blanket and the cat is clinging to me. 

This week I go back into the dentist for adjustments. Next week I have to get blood drawn. It's a lot of doctors when you reach a certain age.

A Week Later

 I'm a week post my extractions. I'm trying to start eating some more solid food. I'm in pain still. My body is reacting very badly to the antibiotics. I'm in some high discomfort because of mouth sores. My dentures are starting to get loose.

So, yeah, it's not the best day. It's not the best one week anniversary. 

I joined a support group and that seems to be helping. I know this isn't going to be easy for a while, maybe not even easy for a year. I know I've actually been spared from some of the things that can happen. I didn't get the horrible swelling and I didn't get any bruises. Still, this kind of sucks.

Annoyance

I'm 3 days out from teeth extractions and I'm in pain. I'm progressing, but there is only so much I can do. I need time to recover. I need time to accept this and learn it. I just need time.

What I got instead was an annoyance. I've had a mailbox on my house for years now. They only let people in my area who are very badly off have one of those and apparently that no longer includes me. This is very frustrating, especially with a mouth full of holes and stitches. 

There is nothing I can do about it though. 

New Start

 Today was very long. I had to be up at the dentist's office by 8 to do impressions. Then a few hours later, I had my extraction procedure. I'm still numb and my mouth won't stop bleeding. That's common after this kind of mouth trauma. I have to go back tomorrow to find out if things are as they should be.

I would not have made it through today without my roommate. He got me scripts for me and stayed by my side as I was more or less panicking.

For a Friend

 This is a link to my friend's GoFundMe page. She's worked very hard to get to this point in her education and this next step is going to require some outside assistance. If you can, please go read her story and maybe drop a donation her way. It would make a big difference to her and eventually a big difference to a lot of people given that she plans to help people in her career. 

Thank you.

Persistence Pays Off

I called the insurance this morning and talked to someone who seemed to know more about what was going on. They even gave me a more direct phone number to reach their office. The person I talked acted like they understood what I was going through. I'm not sure if they said something to the people in charge or not, but by the time I called the dentist's office to see if they had any news, everything had been approved.

Better yet, there was a cancelation on Monday so I'm getting in very quickly. Monday is going to be a rough day, and the start of a long recovery, but at least things are finally happening.

I almost talked myself out of calling the dentist's office today because I had called them yesterday. I'm so glad I did though because otherwise I might be waiting another week or so before they could even fit me in. 

Still Waiting

Insurance is dragging its feet about my approval. I've been trying to stay on top of it, but outside of calling them, there isn't a lot else I can do. 

I'm trying not to despair, but I need this to happen. I'm in a lot of pain and I need something to change. I'm also doing what I can to manage the pain, but there is only so much I can do. 

So I wait.

Really

Yesterday we had an electrician come by, which didn't turn out to be such a big deal. Today we had to take the car in to have the AC looked at, which also seems to have worked.

And then tonight the toilet started acting up.

I mean, just.....REALLY?

Look. I know the last two repairs were easy and not THAT expensive, but they were still stressful and still cost money. If you've been on the blog for long, you know I don't have a lot of money.

My spoons are gone. They're all expended on the impending medical issues I'm going to have to deal with. That's where my thoughts are and I don't have room for a lot of other stressful things right now.

So, universe, can we please just not?

Easy for Once

Years ago, like, in the early 80s, my grandfather ran an electric line out to his rickety old barn in the back yard. All of these years, that's still been there . . . just waiting to cause problems.

Well, the rickety old barn is on its way to falling down and we realized that it was probably for the best to disconnect the electric line. After all, this is fire season. One of them.

Anyway, I called Ol Boy Electrician and asked how long it would take him to stop by. He said it would be two weeks, but then when I mentioned that we happened to live just up the street from him, he said he could stop by on his way home today. 

He did just that and it turns out disconnecting the line was pretty easy and not that expensive. In less than an hour, our problem was solved. So yay. 

I mean, we still have the looming issue of a barn that might topple over, but at least it won't cause as many problems as it would have otherwise.

The Current Hell

Okay so this is the situation I find myself in. None of the dentists in my town take my insurance. Because of that, I have to travel over 40 minutes (one way) in order to go to a dentist who does take my insurance. 

This means, any time there is a problem, any time I'll need some kind of help, any time they need even the slightest thing from me, we're on the road.

So far, every time we've taken this trip, something has gone wrong with the car. This means that I'm not only stressed because of the dentist situation, I'm also stressing out about the car. I know that there will be more trips to the dentist in the next several weeks. I really need the car to act right.

In Limbo

The medical procedures that I have to have done need to be pre-approved first. Right now I'm in that waiting period of not knowing what will be approved and what won't. 

I'll be notified by letter. I'm not sure when this will happen. They told me it usually takes about three weeks but I'm hoping it isn't that long.

In the meantime, I'm trying my best to get as much information about what will be happening as possible. There is a lot of info out there, which is helpful. It feels like it's all I talk about now, but it's going to create some major changes in my life. I'm trying to prepare.

In the meantime, I wait.

Taking

It seems that I am to have a medical procedure and again, like all the ones before it, it will mean something is taken from me. 

It's a weird thought, that they'll take things from you. At one point you are a whole person and then little by little, more and more is removed from you. 

The other times this has happened, I went through a level of identity crisis. I'm guessing that will happen again. 

In a complete of months, there will be less of me. 

Busy Week

We have a lot of appointments this week and may have a lot for the rest of the month. It just depends on how things go on Tuesday. 

I've been doing my best to educate myself about the situation I'm going into. I've learned a lot. I'm nervous but less so, perhaps, than I was before I started this whole adventure.  

Progress and Plans

 I've been on the thyroid medication for over a week. I lost a decent amount of weight for the first time in months. Hopefully this means the medication is working for me. I really needed some stuff to change.

Speaking of change, I'm going to start a new project. It's health related and may end up being scary, painful, and expensive. I'm not sure yet. I just know I need to make some changed happen. 

Bad Weather Again

There is snow on the ground and some patches of ice. It's very, very cold. It's supposed to be even colder in the morning and I'm not looking forward to it.

We're trying our best to just stay warm and keep the cats warm. I worry for the strays but they're too feral for us to help much. At least they have the barn and the neighborhood abandoned house to stay in.

Appointment

I talked with my doctor yesterday. She thinks my thyroid is low and wanted it checked again. I had another blood draw and now we'll wait and see. 

I mean, the last thing I want is to deal with MORE medication, but at the same time, I am dealing with some severe fatigue lately. I think if it is my thyroid, that at least is something that can be managed. 

Outside of that, the discussion was fine. We're both pleased with what my mental health is looking like right now so that's not a problem. It's a step in the right direction.

Struggle

I have a call with my doctor on Tuesday. We're to discuss my meds and what needs to be changed or kept the same. I think my mental health has improved some, but other aspects are still pretty awful. I'll see what we can do about that. 

It's supposed to get cold again this week. We might get snow or ice or nothing. Hopefully nothing. I really don't want to deal with slickery. I'm too apt to fall. 

Quiet

In dark times, it's so easy to become quiet. People get scared. People get overwhelmed. People get tired of having to fight.  I get that. I understand that. Sometimes, I live that.

So what to do about it? I'm not sure. It's so easy to retreat when things get scary. It's so easy to not reach out to others. It's easy to just ball up inside yourself and try to ride it out. 

I don't have answers here. I just know that things feel so massive right now and I'm not sure what to do about. 

End of the Month

This month really sped by. I'm not sure what I even did during most of it. I know it snowed. I know we got the new stuff into the house. That's about it. I need to make some calls and talk to some people.

One of the calls I have scheduled is my next doctor's appointment. We'll be talking on the 11th about my progress with my mental health. I think things are going better, but I still have some concerns I want to bring up to her.

Overall, January wasn't bad this year. Hopefully, February will be better.

A Busy Day

Our furniture was delivered! It's very nice and taller than we expected. My roommate is tall and long-legged, so the higher furniture is good for him.

It was A LOT to make this happen. We had to save up the money for it and then wait about two months for it to actually get here. Then there was the process of moving the old stuff out and the new stuff in. Thankfully we had people to help with that. 

Anyway, I'm very pleased. The old couch was in ruins and no one was comfortable on it. The old chair was just about to the point of never sitting up well anymore. Now both are replaced and look very nice.

I am kind of sad that the old furniture is gone. Both pieces were bought by my grandmother and now that's more of her things out of the house. I still have the blanket chest, the clock, and the big mirror though. I'm happy I have those with me. 

Quietly Frozen

I found out today that I'm going to have to wait another six months on stuff with my dad. That's annoying and I have no idea why it's happening. It is though. This is taking forever. 

Our furniture is supposed to be here on Thursday. I'm guessing that will be delayed again as well. I get that there is snow and frozen conditions and it's affecting things, but it's still very frustrating. 

I just wish something positive would happen. I need something positive to happen. 

Annoying Winter

It wasn't supposed to snow. If snow had been forecast, we would have gotten more supplies. It wasn't though, so we didn't. 

And yet, it could start snowing at any moment. I hate winter for this kind of thing.

Moving Along

 The month is moving along. Things are moving faster than it feels like they should. The days seem to be speeding by and I'm not sure why. Maybe it's because of what will happen on the 20th. If things play out the way they did last time, things will slow after he's in office again.

I'm still sick. My nose isn't clearing up and I'm still aching. I never seem to get enough sleep. It's supposed to get really cold again this weekend. I'm sure that won't do anything for my illness. It's possibly going to snow but I hope it doesn't because our furniture is (in theory) supposed to be here early next week. 

Still Snowy

The snow is starting to melt but it's still there. After as many inches as we had, I'm not shocked that it's taking a long time to go away. Oh. And then we'll be having more snow in less than ten days. This is so annoying.

Also still annoying: I'm still sick. I'm better than I was, but my nose is still a snot factory and I'm still coughing a lot. This needs to be over with soon. 

I think maybe my meds are starting to work because I don't feel as emotionally horrible as I have for a while. It's still early days on that though. We'll see in a few weeks. 

Over It

It hasn't snowed yet but I'm already over it. 

We went shopping today so we wouldn't have to deal with it during the snow. Of course, everyone else had this idea as well and the stores were crowded and rather lacking in items to purchase. We got everything we could possibly need. Devices are charged in case the power goes out. 

I'm still sick and snotty. My roommate isn't doing a lot better. Hopefully the snow will melt quickly and we can go back to our normal (such as they are) lives.

Appointment

Talked to my medical provider today about how I was adjusting to the new depression med. She upped my dosage and then told me to take Vitamin D. We'll see if it helps. Hopefully, it will. I'm really tired of feeling horrible all of the time. 

It's possible we could get the new furniture in tomorrow, but probably not likely. I wish they would have just told us it was going to be 6-9 weeks or something instead of telling us two weeks and then edging us off into a month plus. That's really annoying.

Also annoying: I'm still sick. I'm to that place where my skin is irritated because I've blown my nose so many times. My chest and back hurt because of the coughing. I really dislike how sickness damages you.

Even more irritating: It's really cold. This means the constant dripping of water from the sinks and possibly snow later in the week. Ugghh. 

I would say I'm more of a summer person, but we all know I'm not.

I would say I'm more of a Fall/Spring person but I'm not that either. I'm just not designed for living, I think.

Winter Woes

This is going to be a lot of me complaining. I'm sick. My nose is a mess and my throat hurts. I'm also achy and I just generally feel awful. 

It's supposed to get really cold this week and it could snow. I won't be going out in the snow so we'll have to switch days on when we go to the store. Snow is always stressful because the water situation in my town gets a bit dire. I'm not looking forward to this.

I have a doctor's appointment on Monday. It's just a follow-up about my medication and if it's working. It isn't and hopefully, we'll be able to get it sorted out this time.  I'm worried that it'll take longer though. I'm not sure what the next step would be.

Anyway, I'm sick and not looking forward to this week. 

First Day 2025

I'm really tired and my feet hurt. I had a lot of pain the first day of the year. I really hope that isn't a sign this year will be full of pain. I need a good year. We all do.

I'm not making resolutions. I have plans of things I want to do, but we'll see how they go. Mostly I'm just going to try to continue to exist. One of my friends was talking about how grief isn't a straight line and that's very true. 

So anyway, yeah. The holidays are over. I'm tired. I really hope that things are okay this year. I really need them to be.