I'll have a Blue Christmas

I called my sister-in-law today about the holiday stuff. I felt guilty doing this because what my side of the family does shouldn't be her emotional labor to figure out. And yet, it has been. It's the last thing she needs as she's going through some stuff with her own family. The problem being, in some ways it's almost more practical that she decides, as she is the person with the most stuff going on. She made a kind of desperate request for what we would eat and I agreed to it. It isn't what I want, not really, but I bet it's the only request she's made all holiday season.

A lot of people are feeling down about the holidays this year. I can understand why. It seems like every year people have more and more demands put on them. I mean, NOT ME, certainly, but the people with kids and other family members and stuff. I actually feel like I'm part of the problem because I have mobility issues and have to rely on others to help with my medical equipment. I'm grateful for the help, but I'm sure they'd rather I could fend for myself in this situation. So that sucks some energy out of their Christmas.

This year some people started posting "I will not" lists about things they will no longer do during the holidays. It isn't that they're being selfish. They just are too pressed and too stressed out about this whole thing. They will not buy a special outfit for the holiday. They will not stay sober just so other people can get drunk around them. They will not be the one who worries about if their partner's family gets Christmas cards.

It's easy to say "oh people just need to simplify the holiday and not worry about all that stuff." Easy to say, but not easy to do. My family was having trouble scheduling one evening to get together and open gifts. What is that like for people who have to schedule several of those events around Christmas programs and work events and work and after school activities and just trying to sit down and spend some time with your family? What is it like for people who are trying to do all of this while dealing with sick family members or being sick themselves? What is it like to do this while struggling through depression or SAD?

I'm actually shocked more people don't run away during December.