Childhood Hell

 I've been trying to process this all evening, but then I remembered I stumbled on what my reaction to trump was a while back. He honestly does bring out all the PTSD I have about my abusive step-fathers and the pattern of insanity my mother kept putting us in. 

I hated those men. They were all awful. Trump really does have every characteristic of those men. He's stupid. He brags and talks about himself all the time. He insults other people. He's incompetent but somehow cons others into thinking he isn't. 

There would always be these moments when I would think my mom would finally FINALLY wise up and get rid of the step-fathers. Times when I would allow myself to be hopeful that they would be out of my life. And every single time, she disappointed me. She only saw the logic of getting rid of one of them once and probably only then because I scared her. 

Every other time, she only removed one step-father when she found a new asshole to be with, usually one worse than the last one. And that one time that she actually left without another man lined up, we had like two years of a really GOOD life. She went to college. My brother and I did well in school. She made friends. She had a decent shot at an amazing future. But of course, she screwed that all up as soon as she found some other loser to bring into the picture. 

So here I am, like 30 years later, going through the same emotional hell as my country keeps clinging to the absolute worst step-father ever. And we'll only get rid of him when they find some other, probably equally horrible bastard to make the next president. 

I'm not even sure what to do with this. I wasn't sure when I figured it out and I'm not sure what to do now that it's clear the asshole isn't going away. 

Congrats, America. He certainly doesn't love you, but you get to support him for another four years.