Bran Stark did not Win Drag Race

Spoilers

Yvie Oddly won Drag Race. And it was a well-deserved win at that. She stayed true to herself all season long and made every challenge work within her style. Her last few outfits, while glamorous enough for the event, were still strange and VERY her.

Best of all, when she performed her lipsyncs, she didn't do dress or wig reveals. She did that on the show. Enough of that. She knew it was better to create a different kind of spectacle. I hope people realize this is a sign that wig/dress reveals need to slow down for a while. It isn't special anymore. I mean, maybe not in the club, but on Drag Race, especially in the finale, those two things have really lost impact. 

Low Key Trauma

Since last August, there has been A LOT of stuff. I mean, even now, there is all the flooding going on. It's like this constant buzz in everyone's psyche. It's draining.

Today I took my car in to have the AC fixed. It rained the whole trip there and the whole second trip to get bring it home. My roommate and I were both really quiet about it.

Later we admitted we were both rather frightening about what would happen. The last time we took the car in for a simple thing, it cost us so much money and caused so much stress. On its own, I don't think that whole car ordeal would have messed with us so much, but, as I said, it was in a long line of difficult situations. Dread is just part of the landscape now.

And it's possible something else could mess up with the car, but the AC seemed to be working when I drove it home.

Bad Morning

I managed to spill my coffee all over my computer desk, monitor, keyboard, computer, disc drive....basically everything. Even my earbuds. It was a mess. Not a good morning for bad numbers.

Anyway, the rest of the day was fine. I had a good nap. The car goes in for an AC fix tomorrow and this had BETTER not turn into something where I'm spending two weeks and two grand trying to fix my car. Or anything worse than that. Uggh.

Alternatives

I finished the reworking of season 8. I liked it a lot. While it didn't have some of the best moments actually shown (all the calm before the storm of episode 2), it has so much more in terms of tension and buildup. It also still has all the great dialogue moments that make or break future happenings. So far, I think everyone who has died, died better than they did in the show. Maybe Theon is a tie. No, I still have to give the rewrite the edge because everything concerning the Ironborn is better.

In real news, the waters still rise. Fort Smith is almost impossible to reach and they had to shut down all the schools. I'm going to call my dad again tomorrow and make sure he's okay.

Revisions

I guess one benefit to a less than great season of a show is that you get a lot of people doing fanfic over it. I've read some really great stuff, but the one I'm reading now is amazing. Even if a lot of things end up the same, this is still a far better way to tell the story.

Anyway, more flooding, but I'm still dry. Well, more or less dry. It's hot so I'm still sweaty.

Rising

The waters continue to rise. I talked to my dad today. They're safe and he doesn't think he'll be flooded. Most everyone seems to be okay, which is a good thing. I know quite a few farmers are having to relocate animals. I hope they do so successfully.

Speaking of animals, all the water snakes are taking refuge on the land to escape the rapids. Because, you know, the one thing you need during a flood is scared snakes.

Floodland

Hey now, hey now now.

All joking aside, there really is a lot of freaky scary flooding going on. Some barges got loose and hit the flood gates. A lot of places, all the way from Tulsa to Fort Smith, are experiencing historic levels of flooding. It's scary. We're safe, so far, but we're not along the river. It said on the news some places could get as much as 8 ft of flood water.

They have video of the barges hitting the dam. It's horrifying how quickly they just break apart and sink. I've never seen anything like it. The image really got to me.

Meh May

The weather continues to be strange. Areas of my state are evacuated and flooding. Usually this kind of thing is over by May, but we're getting it late.

Both of us (and the cats) have been under the weather because of it. The mugginess keeps our bodies sore and stomachs volatile. I'm hoping for a dry, hot summer.

Collective Block

A lot of people I know are having trouble writing right now. For several years, I've known people who made pocket money with decent side hustles writing articles for this and that.  It was never anything they could quit their day jobs over, but it was enough to make things better (and pay off student loans, stretch out food til payday, etc).

But lately, almost all of them are having trouble meeting their deadlines. It isn't about them getting lazy or less organized. In some cases, they've tried everything they could to get MORE organized about things. It's just, well, they're too stressed to be creative.

It's like, for a lot of people, things are so emotionally and mentally bad right now, the idea of trying to write just feels impossible. What used to be joy has become grinding and miserable. One friend told me that every sentence she writes feels forced and wrong.

This is really troubling to me. The world being creative is important. We, as a species, being creative, is important. We need that and right now it's like something is sucking the life out of all of us.

GoT Ending Reflections

GoT spoiler comments.

Good:

The devastated walk of everyone to the castle at the beginning. No one spoke. It was just too much to take in.

Tyrion's grief over his siblings' death and subsequent quitting as Dany's hand.

Sansa telling Edmure to sit the hell down and shut the hell up.

Sansa gaining independence for the North.

Brienne finishing out Jaime's chapter in the Book of Kings Guard Stuff.

Davos gets to be on the Small Council.

Jon finally getting to do the one thing that actually truly made him happy. He went to live with the free folk and hang with Ghost.

Bad:

Dany's ending. I guess with what they did with the character, she had to die. But after this, can we please retire the trope of 'woman with power goes mad with power gets killed by her lover?' So sick of that.

Jon: It bad I am be girlfriend killer?
Girlfriend killer Tyrion: I mean, no, not really.

And yes, Dany's always been Alexander the Great (good at conquest, bad at ruling, rides scary beast) and yes, Alexander DID go ragemad after Hephaestion died and slaughter a bunch of people, but I would have rather Dany ended cold and calculating (I destroyed this city to show the other cities what will happen to them) and then killed by I mean, anyone else besides her lover. Predictable and boring.

Confusing

Bran being king. Actually, I'm even suspicious of this. I mean, he KNEW Dany was going to destroy the city and said nothing about it so she would die and everything falls down to HIM being king? Hinky.

Greyworm's behavior about everything.

Why did Sam become a Maester when he had a child on the way?

SHOCKING:

Sweetrobin lived!

True winner of the Game of Thrones: Hoster Tully. His son rules the Riverlands. He has a grandson ruling the Vale, a grandson on the Iron Throne, and a granddaughter ruling the North.

May Topics

There was a tornado in the larger town near us today. Some of my family happened to be dining close to where it hit. Our power was knocked out for a few hours, but that always happens anytime we have a storm because our power grid sucks.

Anyway, the sweet, sweet electricity is back now. The sky was yellow for a couple of hours and the neighbor dude stood on his roof with a chainsaw during the storm. Somehow he managed not to get hurt.

It is RUMORED that the next Sims pack will be a tropical one. I never got the tropical one for 3 so I'm pretty interested in this. The announcement is supposed to be some time in the next two weeks.

Hold Our Beer

I read a thing where the writers of GoT have challenged fans to write a better season than they did. This was actually a bad idea.

See, I've watched a lot of videos and read quite a few articles where people made small, but important changes to the episodes where things turned out so much better. The showrunners were probably being cheeky when they said this, but they might get shocked by the response.

Deny

I am having to seriously avoid all news right now because of the constant stuff over states doing everything they can to take away women's rights over their own reproductive choices. Hell, not even that. They want to investigate women who have miscarriages as if such a tragic thing is somehow their fault.

At this point, the only thing I can see people are able to do is just to deny the world the chance to harm you. Get tubal ligation. Get a vasectomy. Do everything you can to deny them the chance to force your life to go any other way outside of the way you want it to go. DENY THEM.

I Suppose It should be like This

Sigh.

While I love the craftsmanship of the artists who work on the show, I've not really liked the writing direction taken by the last several seasons of Game of Thrones. It is what it is though, and as it will be ending this week, I suppose this is how I would like it to end.

Dany announces to everyone left that she destroyed King's Landing because her family's throne and their city had poisoned Westeros. She says she will be leaving and the Seven Kingdoms should just rule themselves. She then returns to Essos with her armies. She flies the Unsullied where ever they wish to be, including dropping Greyworm off in Naath.

Jon doesn't want to rule anything so he leaves the North to Sansa. He takes Bran past the Wall with him so they can live up there. He finds Ghost and actually treats him well.

Arya decides she WILL marry Gendry, but plans to really challenge what a woman's role is in this society while doing so. They rule the Storm Lands.

Robin Arryn, who has somehow survived all of this, keeps the Eyrie. Without his mother and Littlefinger to cause problems, he realizes he is a brat and needs help. He marries Meera Reed and she basically keeps the kingdom going.

Edmure somehow doesn't ruin ruling the Riverlands.

Samwell Tarly becomes King of Highgarden, much to his bewilderment and Gilly's amusement. Her firstborn son, a wildling incest bastard, becomes his heir.

Whatever unnamed kid that is who took Dorne stays in Dorne and doesn't cause problems.

Tyrion takes the Westerlands. His heir ends up being the child Brienne gives birth to nine months after the night Jaime left her. Brienne goes on to have a happy life full of honor and adventure.

Sansa never marries, but she does take lovers on occasion. Her heir is the child Dany returns to Westeros to have after leaving. When Dany has the baby, like many Targ women, she dies, but our last scene with her fulfills the witch's prophecy and she sees Khal Drogo again.

I mean, that's all very tropey and what have you, but at least it's a decent level of an ending with a bit of hope for the future. 

Criminal

There are some dark things coming out of the various anti-choice bills in various states. One of the darker ones is this idea that women who leave their draconian states to have an abortion in another state will be jailed when they return. This is new.

I mean, it sucked before when women had to leave their states and travel just to get the procedure done. It was expensive and often they had to deal with a waiting period before they could have their abortions, even if they were in some level of danger.  Now they're basically going to have to move.

If you can afford to move, it's probably best to do so. Of course, poor women won't have that option, so pregnancy it is. Even if they die. Even if they were raped. Even if it ruins any chance they had at making their lives better. And trust me, as someone born to a 19 year old mentally unstable addict who did not want me, NO, just getting 'life' is not enough. Living in poverty is hell. Living with people who will never love you is hell.

It sickens me and it terrifies me this is happening. I've never been so profoundly happy my uterus is gone.

Speed

In a way, I'm not surprised they did what they did in GoT. They were hinting at it last week and Dany has always been very much an Alexander the Great figure. Her fall into grief and anger didn't really feel earned though, and often this is a cop-out when female characters get too powerful. I'm disappointed with how they handled it but, as I said, not surprised.

Outside of that, I actually liked the episode. The Lannisters all shined here. People got very good deaths. Arya's whole arc in the episode was good. If the Dany thing had been handled better, I'd be okay with it. I guess they just couldn't help themselves.

Spring Sickness

I have a nasty spring cold thing going on. I also have to see my uncle tomorrow. Normally I'd be okay with this, but I'm really tired and sick. He only comes in once a year so it isn't like I can say no. I just won't be all that fun for the visit. Oh well. I'll try my best.

Ottoman Cat

Last year, as I have mentioned before, Tinkerbell decided to forgive me for whatever wrong she thought I caused. Since then, I've gotten the occasional pet session with her. It was nice.

When my roommate got sick back in February, she moved her lounging location to a blanket chest near me. I couldn't pet her without reaching, but she was close to me. Occasionally, she'd jump down and let me pet her.

The last few weeks, since the Spring storms have started, we've seen another change. Now she most often sits on my ottoman with her back pushed ever so gently against my foot. We have a lot of contact now.

I really love this. Tinkerbell has been the slowest any cat has ever taken to warm up to me. I knew it probably had to do with me being a woman and women having hurt her in the past. Now she's allowed me to become one of her people and I'm so grateful for that. I love this cat and see her as a gift every day.

Tired

Today was fine. I'm really tired though. I'll write more tomorrow. Hopefully.

Hey Happy Day

It rained a little today, but not horribly. We paid the last part of our bills, plus car insurance, and then came home. I tried to rest after that but it didn't work out so well. My brain has been really manic today. Not in a bad way, just in an active way.

I watched the final episodes of Killing Eve Season 1. I really loved it. I like how both our main characters are so very flawed, funny, and brilliant. I love how their humanity is never sacrificed for the sake of writing them as women.

So It Begins

Sigh. Looks like GoT is setting Dany up to fail. They are killing off her friends and I'm guessing she'll go crazy and get killed by Jon or someone else who should be loyal to her. Annoying.

Short

Short post. The yard was mowed today. I'm glad this happened by the grass set off my allergies. I feel like hell. Happy May, folks.

Sad Spring

As you may recall, last Spring was amazing for me. I was mellow and happy. Things in my brain were evened out and nothing seemed to be all that awful. This year, as I have mentioned before, is not turning out like that.

This Spring has given me a great deal of physical pain, depression, and moments of fairly acute anxiety. Yesterday I was anxious over glitter. GLITTER! Not just a little bit either. My mood tends to go from blue to black very quickly and while I'm trying my best to be aware of that, the whole process is exhausting.

I really wanted my mellow to return. It sucks that it didn't. Even if it didn't return, it would be nice not to be in shaking dark mode for days on end. Blah.

Not Believed

There is a FB friend I've had for years. She's not a person I know in real life, but we became friends through a game on social media. It's casual friendship. We trade jokes and that kind of thing. Recently I've not seen many of her posts. I haven't been on that much either, so it didn't exactly bother me much.

Then she posted again and I found out she has cancer. Her symptoms were brushed off and overlooked. She wasn't taken seriously for years. Doctors thought she was making something out of nothing and she was denied basic tests that could have helped her. Now she has stage four cancer in her intestines and it's spread to most of her other organs. She's dying.

And why was she ignored? Well I'm sure there are a lot of reasons, but one of the main ones seems to be that she was heavy. When she started losing weight, at first, of course, she wasn't that concerned about it herself because, hey, anything is better than being fat, right? But then she started puking quite often and had trouble controlling her bowels. One doctor flat out accused he of bulimia. Others handwaved her concerns and tried to alter her diet. When she couldn't keep that food down either, they suggested mental health.

She posted a video explaining her situation. She is now gaunt and haunted looking. As much as she hates the idea of dying so young, what comes across the most in the video is the indignation at how she was treated.

I am grieved about this. And angry. Like I said, she is a casual FB friend, but she is still a friend. Now she is dying over things that, if caught early enough, could have been treated. No one listened to her because they just saw a fat woman losing weight. It just sickens me.