First World Problems

I got out of the shower a new woman. I was clean and warm and grateful. I mean, seriously and utterly grateful.  There is nothing like the prospect of not knowing when you can take your next shower to really appreciate it when that shower happens. 

I know I live a life of deep and profound privilege, more so than most people in this world and certainly more than most generations of people who came before me. I understand this and I am thankful for what it has brought me. 

And yet, so much of what my life used to be has been stripped away or threatened over the last year. It's been emotionally difficult and I know it's been so much more so for other people. A lot of people have lost far more than I have. A lot of people have been required to risk so much more than I have. I'm not certain how much sanity any of us have left. 

I was seriously overcome with emotion when I got out of my shower. I felt saved. I felt scared. I felt whatever you call that emotion when you've been through a crisis and suddenly things snap back into being normal.  

For a little bit, I just sat naked and shivering on my bed and allowed myself to feel all the stuff. This probably sounds dramatic, but when you're living in a pandemic and a time of deep social unrest and confusion, even the little things feel like they're killing you.