Saturday, February 4, 2023

Bleak

I started reading a fic I'd let slide for a while. It was very enjoyable. It's still not finished, far from it, but catching up was a lot of fun. I also published on my own AU and have some ideas for how to continue that.

My roommate talked about things being on a coin's edge lately and I get that. The government is constantly trying to screw up our lives with their conservative ideas. The weather could have done some nasty stuff to us. I'm in this place where for once in my life I'm losing weight and it scares me because I worry that it will somehow just stop. 

I know things have been fraught before. I know that I went through a lot of trauma when we lived in the trailer and work wasn't happening for me. I felt like such a failure then, and there was this constant fear of bills not being. It was a horrible time for me and I still have no idea how I got through it.

Then again, it seems like there were a lot more distractions then. It seems like things felt better, easier. It seems like people weren't so completely hostile. Maybe it was just easier when I was younger. Maybe I had more spoons back then. 


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