I love the anime and manga series Naruto, specifically because the characters is principled on the power of will. Each ninja has their own "Ninja way" which is basically a phrase that keeps them going. When things get rough, when they've been knocked down a million times, when it looks like they are just about to die, they find the force of will to get back up and continue to fight. Quite often, the battle isn't decided by who has the better skills, but by who has the stronger will.
Our Will, our soul strength, is perhaps the most misunderstood aspect of our inner drives. The drive can be completely broken, sometimes as the only means to keep us alive. It can be trained to the point where we can teach ourselves not to feel pain or cold. Will pushes us towards our goals, keeps out the negative, promotes focus. Will helps us conquer fear and run into burning buildings to save people. It steadies our nerves as we perform surgeries. It keeps our heads held high in the face of public humiliation.
There are times when the safest thing we can do is surrender our Will and sense of Self. For instance, I do this whenever I go to see a doctor. Going to the doctor freaks me out. I become quite nervous at the idea and my mind fills with potential hurts and slights my person could suffer. The only way I can usually get past this is to let to of my Will. I tell myself that in the situation of going to the doctor, I am not viewed as ME. I am viewed as a patient, seen as many are seen by this doctor. Whatever happens, I will react as a patient should.
Our society despises those we perceive to be "weak willed." The overweight, the poor, those who stay in abusive relationships, drug addicts, people who give in too easily to the commands of others are all seed as examples of a weak will. However . . . . you will note in almost all of these cases, many of the people in these situations have very strong Wills. Obese people cling to their habits despite what amounts to ostracism. Abused people find the strength to get up the next morning, despite their pain.
In truth, it would be closer to say that people such as those described above learned to strengthen their Will in ways that discordant with being centered and healthy. Imagine, for instance, that you break your foot. Instead of getting it set and cast in a way that would allow it to heal properly, you just find a place that is causing you the least pain when you walk and start walking that way. Your muscles will adjust to this new way, driven by the need for less pain. The muscles strengthen and eventually your foot heals. It just doesn't heal properly. Now you walk with a limp that still causes you a certain amount of pain.
In this example, you had the Will to continue on, despite the pain and the break. You had the Will to adjust your walking and force your body to comply with the new state of things. And, despite the continuing pain, you had the Will to keep going. So are you weak? No. Are your newly adjusted muscles weak? No. They're just not working in a way to be healthy for you.
I think it's important to understand this distinction. It's not that our Will is weak, it's just that it's been trained to function in a counterproductive manner. This isn't some PC white washing of the situation. Telling people they're weak willed doesn't help them. There is the implied idea of failure, the implied idea of this being an unchanging thing, and the implied idea that being strong willed is some horribly complicated process that some people grasp magically but seems to allude you.
Look at the difference. Your Will has been trained in a counterproductive manner. This implies your Will can be taught and trained, therefore altered by you. It implies that you have the capacity to train your will, but lacked the skills to train it as needed for it to function in a healthy way. You can change. You are not a failure.
Whenever you find yourself in destructive patterns, don't fall into the trap of believing it's because you're not a strong willed person. Think about all the lying, all the scheming, all the plotting, and all the recovery you've accomplished for the sake of keeping your destructive behavior going. This takes a lot of Will. The key to altering these behaviors has little to do with your Will and more to do with other drives. You'll see as we continue on.
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