Right now the house is confusing and stressful and there seems to be no end to what needs to happen. The excitement of "Oh this looks so much better" and "OH! I'll be able to function so well with things like this!" has been replaced by "there is no end to this fucking mess of a house and I will never know a moment's peace ever because this just can't get clean." You know the statement isn't true, but that's how you feel as you notice that ONE more thing that needs to be sorted and that ONE MORE BOX that has to be moved.
I think this is a good example of what it's like with most projects of improvement. It's not that we don't have good intentions and it's not that we get off to a bad start. Starting is fine. The first several days are great. But then it starts to wear on you.
It's like when you lose that first five pounds and feel this total surge of happiness and strength. You're pretty convinced you can lose all of that weight and there will be no problems at all. You wonder why you never lost it before and why this is so difficult for people.
A couple of weeks later, when the weight isn't coming off as fast and if you eat one more bit of healthy food you will puke, when you notice you have sores on your feet and you suspect your hair is falling, well, this is when it gets rough. It suddenly hits you that this isn't some diet you can wait out for a month or so. This is forever. This is your life now. The whole process becomes depressing and you just want to quit.
See, I don't really think it's the want for cheeseburgers and cake that knock people off diets. It's the spiritual exhaustion over the idea that this is how your life will be from now on. If the major fun you've had in your life has revolved around food, you suddenly suspect you may never know another moment of real happiness. Because of this, because of all of it, you quit.
I think from now on, whenever I am disheartened about the weight loss situation, I'm going to make myself think about the house in process of being organized. I'm going to tell myself that if I wouldn't just give up and leave the house in a total mess, I really can't give up and just leave my body in a total mess either. With house cleaning, it HAS to be done or things just get horrible, dangerous, and with a strong potential for death. I remind myself of Grey Gardens and talk about how that isn't how I would want to live . . . and it shouldn't be how I allow my body to live.
I'll also think about pacing. One of the reasons people get exhausted in the middle is because they start pushing harder than they should. My roommate and I promised ourselves we'd just work on things for ten minutes at a time. It's gotten way longer than that. Yes, some things have to happen very quickly so the process can move forward. But it doesn't all have to be done in a day.
The same can go for weight loss. Make changes as you can handle them being made. Make changes when you know you are ready for a new one. Pace yourself on the workouts. If you haven't moved your ass from the couch in ten years, don't expect to jump up and run a marathon next month. Certainly don't try and force yourself to do so. Bring movement back into your life at a steady pace.
The biggest reason I can push past the organization soul sucking is that whenever I get really discouraged about it, I take some time to look at what we've already accomplished. I stare at the space gained in my room. I smirk to myself about how easy it is to get my clothes out of the laundry basket. These moments of relived victory make it so much easier to face the daunting days and weeks that are to follow.
I want to do the same with weight loss. I need to remember to celebrate each clothing size I lose. I need to really think about how much easier it is to do certain tasks, how little pain I am in compared to when I was heavier. I need to enjoy the freedom I gain and appreciate the days I can go without stomach problems.
Any project that requires a lot of your time and effort is going to have its rough patches. In some cases, it may seem like an impossible task, especially the longer you are into it. Instead of focusing on all the things left to do, think about what you've accomplished already. Take joy in all of it, because that positive feeling of joy will keep you going forward. Most of all, keep telling yourself that you WILL accomplish your goals. It may require a lot of work. It may require some sacrifice and lead to a lot of exhaustion, but in the end, it will be worth it. Even if it takes you years to accomplish your goal.
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