I don't think there is a word in existence that can express the level of relief I feel right now. I dreaded this doctor's appointment so much. I did not want it to happen. As I wrote about, I considered canceling it several times. I was a mess when I left today. The only reason I managed to get any sleep is because I forced myself to just think about other things when I went to bed.
The new gyno is awesome because I won't really be seeing him! He has a nurse practitioner who handles all his follow up visits and I like her a lot. I had to go through the full pelvic exam, but it wasn't as horrible as I thought it would be. I didn't even up being a weeping, panicky mess by the end of it. So yay to that!
I would again like to express my thankfulness to the people who have helped me through this process. People have toted my nervous butt up to Tulsa and kept me kept me distracted while I waited for these appointments. People have talked me down from panic and kind of just gently let me freak out from time to time. It means so much to me that this was allowed.
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