Yesterday the grass was mowed and none of us took it well. Milliecat wasn't feeling well anyway and just seemed drained after the mowing. I don't know if there was some smell she didn't like or if her time having to be an outdoor kitty and abandoned was making her feel bad. I could hear her crying some in the night. It breaks my heart.
I love that cat. I love Tink too, even though she still dislikes me. Love is something I think about a lot these days. I think about the love people had for me as a child. Before, when I was more depressed and my thoughts were more toxic, I would focus on the people who didn't love me. These days, that doesn't even matter. Why waste my energy on that instead of being grateful for the love I did receive? It's something I hope to give to the kids that I now adore.
I saw my best friend's daughter today. She wanted me to sing to her and it's funny how I always find myself singing songs to her that my grandmother sang to me. It's this continual spread of song, of love, from one generation to the next. I feel that I honor my grandmother by singing to this kid. It makes me deeply happy.
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