The Album: Achtung Baby U2
The Story: This is a story of reclamation. U2 was my mother's band as Ireland was my mother's obsession when she was obsessing over some whatever useless man. She loved their music and loved Leon Uris and had a massive Erin Go Bragh flag in her house. She loved U2 so much and could talk about them endlessly. As far as she was concerned, The Joshua Tree was the greatest album ever made. During that time when she was living in the trailer, she watched Rattle and Hum at least 90 times (always discussing the songs while they were singing, crying drunken tears when songs would remind her of the husband).
She didn't like Achtung Baby. She didn't get it. She thought it was too much of a departure. It was too industrial, too open to the pulse found in clubs, too bitter.
I loved this album. I understood this album. Achtung Baby was about reclaiming the narrative. The band opened themselves up to a more Euro sound, embracing elements of Industrial and all the heady things coming out of Manchester. They continued to work with a lot of the same subject matters (religion, politics, relationships) but did so in ways that were at times more personal, other times more abstract. It certainly was a departure from what they'd done before, but this was a time that called for that.
U2 went to Berlin to record Achtung Baby. In fact, they were on the last plane into the city before the wall fell. They got to watch families reuniting, watch people walking back and forth through what had once been the divide without any fear at all. It was a magical moment in history and they needed that.
By their own admission, U2 basically hated who they were by the end of Rattle and Hum. They needed to regroup and, as Bono said at the time, 'dream it all up again.' It wasn't going to be easy. This was a new direction for them and it was after finding fame as something else.
When you lose control of your narrative, things get weird. The energy around you feels sketchy, jumpy. It's almost like those skittery noises in horror films. At least, it's that way for me. I recently watched the documentary over the making of Achtung Baby and honestly, a lot of the first bits of sound they were experimenting with sound the same way.
"One" is the first song they finally crafted out of all the bits and noise they were throwing out there. They said that while it didn't define the sound of the album, it did define the spirit of it. From there, they could build.
This album helped Gail and me as we finished out that semester in the dorms. We'd sit on the floor and sing the songs. And yes, we'd start digging into their other music as well, but this was OUR album. Mother free.
Bono reinvented himself for this album. He'd been accused of being a megalomaniac and opted to don a persona that embraced that. He took Lou Reed's shades, Jim Morrison's leather pants, Elvis's leather jacket, and became The Fly.
As I started my second year of college, I was ready to reclaim myself as well. Gail and I moved into an apartment. I'd made no friends AT ALL my first year of college, but once I had myself sorted, friends started to happen again. Soon we had a little group of people.
Achtung Baby played a large role in this group. It was much discussed, much listened to, and often sang. Seriously, if you don't have a group of people to sing with, find one. You'd be amazed what this can do for your emotional state.
This album actually has four of my favorite songs of all time. "One" is just about as bittersweet as a song can get. It's about that moment when you're DONE with this other person and just can't take anymore. That moment of exasperation is perhaps one of the most liberating times in life because you know you can move on without one look back.
"Love is Blindness" still kills me when I hear it. I love Jack White's cover too, but the original is performed with a level of intensity matched by very few love songs. "Until the End of the World" is about Judas, but applies to any Trickster in that place where they're having to do the things needed to move the scene. To me, "Acrobat" is the inner dialogue a lot of us were going through at the time. Disenchantment, isolation, and a general sense of unease only filled but our sheer will to NOT feel that way.
Thank you to: To Gail, for bringing me this album. To Hopcus, to Amanda, to Amy, to Lori, to Tina . . . thank you for being my clan.
The Lesson Learned: There are times when everything around us will feel like chaos. When that happens, it's up to us as individuals to work our way through it. That doesn't mean you have to do it alone, but you can't just expect the help to arrive. You have to ask. You have to reach out.
If you've been following this thing, you know reaching out isn't always the easiest for me. Other than Gail (and the disastrous dormmate I had for a while), I'm not sure I spoke to anyone on that campus my first year. I was allowing what I assumed people saw to dictate who I would be.
By the next year, I started reaching out. Instead of finding places to hide between my classes (yes, I did that), I parked my butt in the art lounge and talked to whatever person happened to be in there with me. Some of them didn't respond. Some of them became very close friends.
Oh, and the second lesson is one of perspective.
Teenaged Me: *sees the "One" video* Bono lookin old.
40something Me: *rewatches video* Bono looked so young........oh hell.
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