Someone posted a thing about describing Tolkien characters without using their names and it struck me how, even though JRRT claimed Fëanor was the wisest of his kind, our boy really comes off as Florida Man. To demonstrate this, I shall give the timeline of Fëanor in news headlines. If I copy one you've seen before, I didn't mean to. Also, spoilers, I guess, for the book.
Okay.
Local elf rages over father's second marriage, disowns half-siblings.
Local elf refuses to believe in the letter 's'
Local elf fathers seven children to win 'child having' contest that only exists in his head.
Local elf makes creepy demands for niece's hair.
Local elf stays in homemade lab, invents shiny things that make people crazy.
Local elf draws weapon on half-brother at social event.
Local elf seen screaming at brother of government official.
Local elf proposes mass exodus of population over dispute with local officials.
Local elf convinces family members to commit murder in boat-stealing incident.
Local elf abandons extended family, burns boats.
Local elf moves to new neighborhood gets into violent altercation with neighbors.
Local elf seen screaming at children.
Local elf dies after trying to destroy monsters alone.
Wisest of his kind? Really now?
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