Early Post

As I am in a relatively decent mood, I thought I'd post early.  I slept well and it isn't hot yet, so those aspects of my life are better than they have been. I've been such a grumpy bitch lately. 

However, the whole 'feels horrible during summer' thing has me thinking about how close Maedhros came to actually becoming an orc. For those who don't know, in JRRT's work, elves could become orcs through torture and pain. Maedhros was tortured in Angband for some years before being rescued. He was an elf raised in Aman and in possession of a lot of mental fortitude. He had a strong support system when he came home. These things helped him not losing himself. One could argue that dealing for centuries with his father might have also given him a certain resistance to pain and domineering personalities. 

It also helped that he had a lot to focus on. He had to try and handle his brothers. He had his own followers who needed him to lead them. He had Fingon . . . either way you choose to read that relationship, they clearly cared about each other, either as friends or more. After all of this was lost to him, Maglor kidnapped adopted Elrond and Elros, given Maedhros a new motivation to keep going. 

Yet despite all of that, he still gave up his kingdom, moved to an isolated fortress called Ever Cold so he could watch Morgoth, killed his own people, attacked a refugee camp, stole things, and committed suicide.

My current theory is that the orcism was always there, doing its best to push up and take over. He fought it, but as the years passed and he lost more and more, fighting it was increasingly difficult.

And really, maybe it was the Oath that kept him from it. When Maedhros and Maglor took the Silmarils and their hands were burning because of it, I think Maedhros reached this point of no return. The Oath was as fulfilled as he could make it and still and still and still things were worse. There was more pain. I think he lost the war with the orc taking over at that moment and fell into the fires because it seemed like the better option. 

I know a lot of people dislike how the earlier histories of Arda are darker than what we see in The Hobbit or even Lord of the Rings. But to me, the earlier stories show so much depth. With a character like Maedhros, Tolkien explores the horrors of PTSD, cognitive dissonance, domineering/brilliant/destructive parents, and the struggle to keep living when you feel broken. Maedhros fought battles, but his WAR was inside of him. In the end, he chose to end his life instead of letting himself live in a world past the point of him finally losing that battle. 

And does it hurt just as much that he left Maglor alone? Yes. But then again, he probably felt that leaving his brother was the only mercy he could give him. It was not a happy ending, but it was a realistic one.