Thursday, March 17, 2011

The Wailing and Keening that Lures in the Roaming Ones

I have a friend on Facebook who loves summer. He gleefully posted about how the next weeks should bring temps in the 80s to where we are.  I kind of wanted to kick him.

As much as I was tired of winter, I'm so NOT overjoyed about the prospect of hotter weather.  My house is old and has an AC unit that eats electricity and does very little for us. During the summers, we can see week of 100+  days and that is before you factor in the humidity.

Besides the nasty heat, there is also the increase in bugs, slugs, and roaming children. Yes, I say roaming children because I don't think they're from the neighborhood, or even the town. I think they bud from slime and plant matter and just walk around, screaming and popping fire works, for no better reason that to just make summer suck more.

Of the three though, I dislike the bugs the most. And by bugs, I mean fleas.  I have cats and somehow, no matter what precautions we take to keep the fleas from showing up, they always do.  Then there is the seemingly endless struggle of baths, vacuuming, and plates-with-water-and-dishwashing-liquid-death traps. Well, and the lavender, but that part is fine.

The heat (and humidity) also puts everyone in a bad mood.  My roommate and I end up snapping at each other. Arguing about when the AC should be turned in, unwilling to even consider cooking.  The cats look at us like it's somehow our fault that it is so damned hot. Then they hiss and growl at each other.  It's just one fabulous suckfest.

Oh yes, one more think about those roaming children.  The gaggle of them also summons something else that is shitty about summer. The dreaded Ice Cream Truck of Doom.  I have this theory about ice cream truck music. I think the music is made by the ice cream truck abducting a clown and then removing its soul.  The soul is then poked by a hundred gom jabbars and forced to sing.

Yes, that is correct. Ice cream truck music is made from the tortured souls of clowns.

I think that exemplifies everything I feel about summer.

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