It strikes me that a lot of people spend a great deal of time trying to persuade others into doing things. Buy my product. Join my religion. Pick up my cause. Vote my way. Change your life. Change your mind. Change change change.
The majority of these people, at least the American ones, are loud, often annoying, repetitive, usually boring, and rarely effective. How do I know they're not effective? If they were, we wouldn't have a deeply divided culture.
Actually, the reason most of those trying to tell others what to do/but/believe/change aren't effective is because they lack a foundation in persuasive communication. You can't convince someone to do something if you piss them off. We've talked about that before. You also can't convince someone to do something if they have to motivation to do it.
For instance, let's say you're trying to convince someone that abortion is wrong. What do you do when they explain to you that they don't like people and despise every sound uttered by children and can think of absolutely no reason why there should be more? What if they simply will not accept that cells are people? What if they just don't care? How do you reach them?
As difficult as it is to persuade someone else, quite often we have an even more difficult time in convincing ourselves to do things. Okay, maybe some people don't. The majority of us though, have a very hard time finding ways to be motivated about doing what is best for us . . . or what we assume is best for us.
I go through this a lot with weight loss. I'm considering doing lap band, which is a drastic and life altering measure. I'm scared. Not just scared of the surgery, but scared in general of losing weight. Or, worse, having the surgery and then failing to lose the weight. That would suck so badly.
So, in the meantime, I'm trying to prepare myself for this major life alteration. It's going to be hellish and most of the time, I'm not even sure I want to do it.
I'm sure that shocks, possibly even disgusts a lot of people, the idea that I am not even sure if I want to be not fat. How could anyone NOT wish to be thinner? To many, that doesn't even seem possible.
Let me propose this to you though. And it is the question that has always haunted me about the situation. Why? Why do you want to be all healthy and fit and trim? Why? Are the sacrifices, the deprivations, the work outs, all worth it? What do you get in exchange? What makes the guilt and the anguish and the feelings of self loathing there when you choose to gain the pound and not lose it?
Should I be thin so I can live a long and healthy life? Ohhh, the fiction of this! First of all, being thin doesn't mean you will be healthy any more than being fat means you will die of something related to the fat. It' not even more likely. All the studies done with any type of realism find that cancer and heart disease rates are higher, but not significantly so. And even if they are? Who cares? Who wants to live a long time if it means you don't get to live the way you enjoy?
Should I lose weight so I can have a more active life? My guess is if I wanted a more active life, I wouldn't be this heavy to begin with, because I would be off doing that active life thing.
Should I lose weight so I can be more socially acceptable to others, easier on their eyes, more comforting to them to be around? Oh please! Fuck you all.
Should I lose weight so I can find a boyfriend . . . and then a husband . . . and then CHILDREN? Yes, of course. Because men have always been such a wonderful and positive thing in my life. Of course I want to alter my behavior just to invite more of them in! Hah!
Should I lose weight so I can fit into all the nifty clothes? I actually considered this one for a bit. But you know what? This one actually just pisses me off because as much as the media bitches and moans about people being all fat and stuff, wouldn't you think by now someone besides Lane Bryant would be smart enough to cash in on that and actually start making cool clothes for fat people? Come one! Someone see the market here!
Should I lose weight so everyone will shut up about my weight? Again, I considered this one . . . but then I realized that those who feel the need to harp on my weight will just start nagging me about something else. Worse, they'll nag me more because they'll think they finally won with the weight thing.
Should I lose weight because as medicine becomes more socialized, people with health issues will become the pariah to anyone who wants to bitch about their taxes? I considered this one too. Then I realized that if it gets too annoying, there's always that free death panel option.
But enough of that. I think you get my point. So, so many reasons and all of them fail to motivate me. All reasons, along with other less flattering/sane ones, that I've heard before. None of them work for me. And yes, a lot of why none of them work for me is because I am filled with bitterness and venom, but you see? That is where the failure to persuade things comes in.
I do, however, have two reasons I cannot deny or discard for wanting to lose the weight. Two reasons that can't be justified away or dismissed. At least, not yet.
I would like to not have to hassle with the issues of my weight every day. I would like to not have to take all the special measures necessary, wondering if I can get into places, wondering if people are going to bother me, wondering if the damned blood pressure cuff will fit. I would also enjoy not being in so much pain.
So as I consider this drastic life altering procedure, these are the things I cling to, the facts that give me courage about the whole process. Less hassle. Less pain. These are real, tangible elements. Things I know, for a fact, will change. Things I want to change, want to live without. These are my motivations and my reasons. I'm glad I finally found them.
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