Mother's Day

So when you lose your mother and your grandmother . . . and I guess, when this happens and you have no children of your own . . . Mother's Day takes on this kind of strange meaning. You don't intend for it to.  You really hope that it won't mean anything at all. And yet . . . all these years later, I still find myself having a weird time on this day.

For one thing, I didn't even realize Mother's Day was this weekend until I started to see people post about it on Facebook. The holiday has become a snowball that someone throws at me out of no where. "OH HAI! Mother's Day is this weekend, orphaned loser!" I watched posts go by about Mother's Day stuff and I even added some of my own just to try and get in the spirit of things.

As for how the day itself went, it was, as I said, strange. I ate lunch with my motherless uncle and my motherless best friend and my motherless brother. His wife was there. Her mother isn't dead, but she's several hundred miles away. I guess my niece and nephew got to feel the motherlove though. At least someone got to.

We at Chinese food at a place none of us really knew that well. The kids were cold and the place was really crowded and loud. I'm guessing it was mostly full of people with their mothers and grandmothers. We ordered stuff we thought would arrive looking and tasting like what we were familiar with, but that wasn't the case.

I guess I should be used to this. In almost every other aspect of my life, I've always been on the fringe of things. The normal people would be doing their stuff and I would be off doing my weird stuff. And you know, I am usually so fine with that. It's almost always just a great thing for me. I guess it's just that in a lot of cases, I was the oddball because I chose to be. I did not choose to be motherless.

Having said all of this though, I am very happy for the meal. I'm happy I have the quirky little family, consisting both of people who were randomly selected to be mine, and people I choose to be mine. They are a part of my traditions and I am happy for that.