Some of my earliest memories involve fantasy stories. My mother loved them and it was one of the few things she seemed interested in sharing with me. Runes, magic, elves, narrow escapes, and returning heroes were beloved parts of my childhood. As a child, I accepted them without question. Of course the heroes never really died. Of course, the calvaries would show up at just the right moment. That is the nature of the Song of Fantasy.
As an adult, I still accept many of these tropes and handwave away their use when they are done well. However, as an adult, especially when I read (or watch) something that is intended to be viewed by adults, I expect a certain level of sophistication to my fantasy. Complex character development. Intangled plotlines that unravel themselves into glorious reveals. Earned moments of emotional drama. When it's at its best, Game of Thrones is so good at all of that. When it's being written in a lazy, sloppy way . . . well, it's like eating a cupcake. Cupcakes are pretty amazing when you're a kid. As an adult, you realize they're also cumbersome, overly sweet, and expensive.
WINTERFELL
Winterfell better have some kind of grand payoff because right now it's just annoying. Arya is verbally attacking Sansa over every decision she's ever made. Sansa is paranoid and scared of her sister. Littlefinger is slimy and trying to suggest Sansa have Brienne kill Arya. Bran is . . .
I don't know if I've mentioned this before, but in the books, Bran's storyline is one of my favorites. It has moments of pure terror and moments of deep desperation, but there is also a richness to it as the Reeds and Bran tell each other stories to pass the time as they travel. On the show, things just got depressing fast and then kind of boring. Now Bran has all the knowledge in all the world but won't open his mouth to get his sisters to stop fighting.
I have a feeling this will end up like the Arya in Braavos storyline. There are ways that story could have been amazing, but it wasn't. I don't think the writers know what to really do with the Stark children and just keep inventing roadblocks to seem like something is happening. This is needless! Kill Littlefinger and focus on them getting things ready for winter!
Winterfell DID have the Smartest Person Who Learns from Mistakes this week. When Sansa received a letter from Cersei asking her to come to Kingslanding, Sansa remembered that when her grandfather, uncle, aunt, father, mother, and older brother road South, THEY ALL DIED. Instead of going South herself, she sent Brienne.
DRAGONSTONE
We only see Dany and Tyrion here, as they pass the stressful hours waiting for the people who went beyond the Wall to return. They debate about how things are going. Tyrion suggests Jon loves Dany and she doubts it. He asks her who is to hold the throne after she dies and she is not having a discussion about that. When word comes that Jon needs her, she leaves to rescue him. Tyrion objects to this, which I thought was rather stupid as his whole plan to get Cersei to back down hinges on them bringing a wight for her to see. Tyrion and Dany fight more like siblings than Sansa and Arya do.
BEYOND THE WALL
Where to start? The good part was the various conversations between the men as they traveled. A lot of the stuff I complained about last week (like the issue of Jon having Jorah's sword) got discussed and settled. The battles that followed LOOKED good.
However, the actual plotting of this whole section is so bad. First of all, they have these Redshirts with them who seem to be pulling along supplies. The Redshirts start dying as soon as they get attacked by the zombie polar bear. This is where the first problem comes in. Not the bear itself. That was pretty nifty, but the whole 'how does one wight?' issue.
Up to this point, it's seemed that if you are attacked by something already zombified, you will become zombified. Both Tormund and Jon SHOULD know this. So once the first guy dies, the mission should be over. Jon should have said, broodingly, "Well, look, mates, this honored member of the Brotherhood Without Banners.....or wildling.....or.....wotever he wos......he is dead. He'll be a wight in about six hours or so. Let's tie him up and head back. No battle, sorry. But this is safer." We know this is what happens when someone dies from a wight attack. When Thoros dies a while later(from wounds sustained from that same bear attack), they even remark on it.
I guess this doesn't occur to them because the cold is freezing their brains. They continue on and find a scouting party of wights with a White Walker. I have no idea why they were scouting because what would be the point, but here we are. Fighting happens. Jon kills the Walker and ALL the wights explode too, except for one of them. So.......now I guess if you're Turned by a Walker, you are linked to it, kind of like in shoddy vampire stories? So all they have to do is get to the Night King and kill him and all the others are gone? Okay.
As I said, one of them doesn't explode. They tackle him like how Steve Irwin and his buddies used to tackle crocodiles and secure him for transport. However, the wight starts screaming like some kind of baby t-rex and suddenly the whole damned billions of zombies army is on its way after them. Jon tells Gendry to RUN back to Eastwatch and send a raven to Dany for help. He does not tell Gendry that once she gets there, she should locate the White Walkers who are all standing off on a hill by themselves and burn them so that all the other zombies explode. He should have because that would have been a great way to end all of this, but he doesn't.
The army of the dead shows up and starts to get at our band of heroes. But they happen onto a lake with a small island in the middle of it. They run to the island. As the zombies try to follow, their zombie weight is so much that it cracks the ice and they begin to fall into the frozen water. The zombies realize they have to stop and just wait on the edges of the lake, staring out at the men on the island. Jon knows Gendry getting to Eastwatch and a raven getting to Dany is his only hope.
This whole damned solution to his plan has been a topic of various people online. People did research and actual math to see if this was possible. Assuming it only took Gendry like 8-12 hours to run back to the castle (because that was the least amount of time anyone could reasonably see it happening given how far away they were), it would take a raven about 40 hours to get to Dragonstone, probably closer to 48 because at some point that bird would have to stop for food and rest. We have no idea how long it would take Dany to get back with dragons, but at least a day or so? Even if she flew straight there she would need to stop at Eastwatch to rest, pee, eat something, find out exactly where they were. By the time she gets there, the ice has hardened enough for the wights to get to Jon and company. They figure that would take around five days given the rate ice hardens. So the timeline is somewhat-ish almost possible as long as you assume the men on the island brought enough food and water to last that whole time and didn't die from exposure.
So basically, it's unlikely. But less unlikely than these few men holding off hours and hours of zombie attacks before Dany actually does show up. Stupid Sandor throws a rock at a zombie and misses. The rock slides across the ice so the zombies realize it's frozen enough for them to cross. Suddenly there are zombies everywhere and no one is getting killed except for more Redshirts and almost Tormund.
When Dany does finally show up, there is much dragon fire. She gets everyone on Drogon except for Jon, but then the whole world stops because the Night King kills Viserion with an ice spear. It was so unbelievably sad. I mean, we've watched these dragons since they hatched and to see one of them die was heartbreaking. Jon urges Dany and the others to leave before any other dragons get killed. He stays behind, gets knocked underwater, pulls himself out, gets saved by Benjen, and then sent back to Eastwatch on Benjen's horse.
We end on a ship down to Kingslanding. Jon, in bed, shirtless, and recovering from his injuries, tells Dany that she is his Queen and looks at her like he loves her. She tells him she will fight the Night King and looks at him like she loves him. They hold hands.
The last scene is the zombie army pulling the dead dragon out of the lake with massive chains they got from who knows where and the Night King turning him into a dragon zombie.
Here's the thing about writing fantasy for adults. It can't be 'adult' in JUST the way that it says all the curse words and shows some titties. It has to be adult in the way where the plots are complex, satisfying, and logical. Things need to make sense. Things need to follow rules. Characters who have been established as not stupid should not conduct themselves as stupid people. People who have vital information should share said information unless they have a good reason . . . like they're in a coma. In other words, if you want to present your show as 'for adults' do not plot it at the level that only a 7 yr old would forgive. Game of Thrones needs to step up and start being ADULT entertainment again. Not just . . . this.
FINAL MUSINGS
Arya keeps all of her faces in a backpack. How does she keep them from twisting up and getting unusable?
Tormund wants to have giant babies with Brienne.
With Thoros dead, Beric can't be brought back to life anymore. So he's probably on suicide mode now.
The other two dragons screamed in pain when their sibling died. It hurt my heart.
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