I've been thinking about the post from last night and how important those tips were. This was shared on one of my private FB groups and a lot of people responded to it. With that in mind, I thought I would give some of my personal tactics for surviving the dark days.
PREPARE AS YOU CAN MANAGE
If you know you have no choice but to leave the house, prepare for it in as many small steps as you can. Set aside clean clothes a day or so before. Don't think too much about them. Just make sure they're clean and serviceable. Put items like shoes and bags by the door, that way you're not having to carry them through the house and add to tiring yourself out. If you're probably going to be in pain, take pain meds before you travel.
ACCEPT YOUR EMOTIONAL LIMITS
When you're upset, your limits may be small. If you can't make it through the stress of a sitcom, don't try. If you can't handle shows about death or other triggery issues, don't watch them. I don't care what people say, it's FINE to stay away from this stuff when you can't handle it. If someone mocks you about that, it's a good indication that this person shouldn't be in your life. Until they understand what it's like to have these kinds of limits, they can just shut up.
ACCEPT YOUR PHYSICAL LIMITS
If you are someone who normally does things for/with people and you find that you can't, inform them that you can't do whatever it is at this time. Don't try to force yourself to do things beyond your limits. If you normally make meals and don't feel like making them, tell the other people in the house. Arrangements can be made.
ACCEPT THAT SOME THINGS WILL BE NEGLECTED
If you get ill in some way, you may no longer be able to do maintenance on your home. Mowing lawns, cleaning things, vacuuming the floors, all of this may be beyond your limits now. If you can afford to have someone else to do this, hire it done. If not, then you have to prioritize what can be hired out and what you can just let go for a while. This seems extreme, but it's something you sometimes have to face.
IF YOU FIND SOMETHING THAT DOES MAKE YOU HAPPY OR DISTRACTS YOU, DO IT.
As I've written about in the blog, when my cats died recently, I just watched stuff about drag queens and makeup for hours at a time. It was a place where I could let my mind go and I wouldn't have to think or feel. When I was younger, I would spend hours pouring over books full of house plans, dreaming about the house I would have one day. Okay, that one doesn't work as well anymore because it just depresses me because I know I'll never have the house I want, but when I was a kid, it got me through a lot of stuff. If music helps you, listen to music. If mindlessly playing games helps you, mindlessly play games.
Now, there is a danger in this that you need to avoid. Do not rely on people or addictive substances for your distractions and happiness. This always ends badly.
BE PATIENT WITH YOURSELF
You can't move like you can when you're well. You can't think like you can when you're well. You may not feel like yourself. You may not BE yourself. It's okay. Sometimes it takes a while, sometimes, a long while, to get better or at least to get less-awful. While you wait for that to happen, be kind to yourself. You are doing the best that you can. In some cases, you may be doing more than the best that you can. It's okay. Just try to get through the moments.
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