Despite my best efforts, I've been trying to fight back paranoia the last several days. I can feel it lurking at the edges of my mind. It's annoying, especially considering I've been actively fighting the negative places my brain often wants to go.
I think I've learned enough to understand happiness isn't always an option. I'll also never say that anger, sadness, and fear don't have a vital place in our minds. They are needed for a variety of reasons.
The problem is, far too many people let those three emotions guide them. They let grief or rejection overwhelm them. They stay in such a fearful state that they either hide away or try to bluff others into believing they're tough (rarely works). Some people start getting angry about things before the thing even happens. They rant about how many things can go wrong and then when the thing does happen, it never lives up to whatever expectations they decided to have, meaning they don't really have an experience, they just have a reaction. This isn't the way to live a full life.
Mind you, fake perkiness isn't the way either. Before I understood what toxic positivity was, I was guilty of trying to push it. I don't anymore. No one should feel positive when they flat out don't feel positive.
However, in my current case, there is no reason to be fearful or sad or angry. I can be content. My brain is just trying to work against me. I won't let it.
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