I feel marginally better today. I got enough rest last night and that helped. It's still not enough. I can feel the strain of exhaustion behind my eyes and in my legs. It's a start. Maybe this weekend I'll really start catching up. I'm so bad I'm reduced to just waving my arms and moving my ankles as exercise. Then again, that's still better than the days when I do nothing at all.
So far this year has really been a struggle. I know that isn't just happening in my household. A lot of people have suffered losses and are having to start over, sometimes against their will. For us, it has mainly been a slow and steady grind down of all of our resources. Things are tough. There are elements of my life that I didn't have to worry about last year because things were more financially stable. After the pipe redo and the new fridge last year, that stability is basically gone.
So along with the physical exhaustion, there has been a lot of mental exhaustion too. I sometimes find myself in a fugue state, just shutting everything out, shutting myself down, so I don't have to let all of it press on me. It helps. If you see me staring off into space, it's my way of blanking out in self-defence.
Honestly, all of this would be easier if I could completely shake the sick. I'm still having coughing fits and nose issues. If anything is a constant wear on me, it's that.
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